Author cre8r Posted October 25, 2015 Author Posted October 25, 2015 Thanks all for these thoughtful answers. As for my passive aggressive theory, maybe women can't understand that telling a guy she can't trust herself with you is like dangling a steak in front of a dog, seems kind of cruel. However as many have said here, it's a compliment. Time will tell, I'll post the outcome for anyone interested. Thanks again for the female points of view! 1
sandylee1 Posted October 25, 2015 Posted October 25, 2015 I'd say she liked you and didn't trust that it would end with you sleeping together, which she wanted to happen, but also didn't want to happen. Crazy right... I've been there. I really like the guy...but think that he'll think I'm an easy lay if I sleep with him. So to remove temptation ....I remove myself from the situation. 2
Odinani Posted October 25, 2015 Posted October 25, 2015 Thanks StB., but if you're into the dude, why wouldn't you be ready for sex? It's not like she hasn't been around before. Doesn't make sense to a guy. This strikes me as quite an unfortunate way to talk about somebody. 1
Author cre8r Posted October 25, 2015 Author Posted October 25, 2015 You are quite right Odinani. I never made a move on her but sometimes you need to be diect when yoi communicate on a message board. To elaborate on that statement, she told me sex and feelings are separate. There's more to support my statement but that's more information than I want to share.
Odinani Posted October 25, 2015 Posted October 25, 2015 You are quite right Odinani. I never made a move on her but sometimes you need to be diect when yoi communicate on a message board. To elaborate on that statement, she told me sex and feelings are separate. There's more to support my statement but that's more information than I want to share. Thanks for explaining. So basically she has slept around in the past, had casual sex etc?
Author cre8r Posted October 27, 2015 Author Posted October 27, 2015 AN UPDATE... After leaving her a "thank you" email Saturday night after the date, she sent one back last night (Monday), with a YouTube video that appeals to my humor. I guess I should take that as a sign that's she's still interested. Although we sent a few messages back and forth after her initial contact, neither of us mentioned any future dates.
Miss Peach Posted October 27, 2015 Posted October 27, 2015 Ami, she's been married 3 times before. Introv, the question is, maybe I'm not the right guy for her. Maybe she's being pasive aggresive from something I did. It's kind of sadistic for a woman to tell a guy she won't invite you in because she doesn't trust herself. I might add that al dates I've been on my best behavior and only given a goodbye hug after leaving her house on date 2. You're in the minority. Most guys I've met think that an invitation inside means sex is on the table. I feel very uncomfortable not being in public with a guy when I'm not ready to go there. My one except I'll make is for party/BBQ type gatherings since I figure it's safe with a group of people there. OP - If you are interested I would invite her to do something. If you just keep messaging back and forth she'll probably think you're not too interested. I'm guessing you are since your started a post here.
PogoStick Posted October 27, 2015 Posted October 27, 2015 I would take a girl saying she doesn't trust herself as: I like you and want you but I don't want to fk up our chance for a relationship. And now it sounds like she's not avoiding you. If you're interested then she's left it for you to ask her out on more dates.
Versacehottie Posted October 27, 2015 Posted October 27, 2015 AN UPDATE... After leaving her a "thank you" email Saturday night after the date, she sent one back last night (Monday), with a YouTube video that appeals to my humor. I guess I should take that as a sign that's she's still interested. Although we sent a few messages back and forth after her initial contact, neither of us mentioned any future dates. Well I absolutely think she's interested. Why didn't you ask her out? You said she's older-ish. I'm thinking that also means you should ask her out. Well I always pretty much think a guy should ask out when things are exclusive. She picked up the tab last time; you need a lot of reassurance in terms of how physical she is with you, that she paid, and now you want her to ask you out too??? OMG just ask her out. She is cute with the youtube video thing. I told you before be more spontaneous. That works for both sides. If someone believes that something they did or said made the other person not be able to help themselves, it's endearing and attractive. Like her funny video, that's a catalyst if you enjoy someone and should have prompted you to ask her out. Look for catalysts and create some and watch the physicality and bond between the two of you increase.
Author cre8r Posted October 28, 2015 Author Posted October 28, 2015 Thanks Peach Pogo and Vers. I never had someone say they'd invite me in but didn't trust themselves so I thank you all for your insight. Call me clueless, I really didn't know what to make of it.
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