cre8r Posted October 25, 2015 Posted October 25, 2015 Had what I thought was a successful date #4 with someone, she even picked up the dinner tab while I was in the restroom. When I took her home she said she'd invite me in but she doesn't trust herself. However she did ask for a kiss and I gave her about a 15 second make out. My question is, and maybe a woman on this board could tell me if I'm getting the brush off or is this some kind of a test? When she said she didn't trust herself, I said it would be a good time to invite me in. Pretty confusing, help.
An0nymiss666 Posted October 25, 2015 Posted October 25, 2015 I have no idea, to be honest. Might be TMI but if I liked a guy and didn't want to just come out and say I was on my period, that might be something I'd do to handle the situation. But I don't really know you guys or your situation, of course. I would have a hard time letting down a nice guy, but I don't think it'd take up to date #4 and I don't think I'd continue to make out with him. A lot of people have issues with being up-front though. Do you have any other details? 1
Author cre8r Posted October 25, 2015 Author Posted October 25, 2015 This was the first kiss at her request, I don't think it's any physical female issues. She had invited me into her place last week and we just talked. No invitation tonight however. Also I think she's past menopause but could pass for 30 something. I sent her a thank you message for picking up the tab, she sent one back thanking me for the kiss. I don't know if she was making a statement that I shouldn't expect anything more than a kiss.
StBreton Posted October 25, 2015 Posted October 25, 2015 Well OP ...I've used those exact words before and I'll tell you what they meant for me: I was really into the guy and I didn't want to put myself in a situation where I couldn't resist my urges and do something I wasn't ready for (sex) Sounds like she likes you but I'm not her and can't say for sure. I'd let it play out and not push the sex thing till she's ready. 11
Noproblem Posted October 25, 2015 Posted October 25, 2015 I don't know why can't you read what she means but obviously she likes you but she doesn't want to rush into sex! 3
Author cre8r Posted October 25, 2015 Author Posted October 25, 2015 Thanks StB., but if you're into the dude, why wouldn't you be ready for sex? It's not like she hasn't been around before. Doesn't make sense to a guy.
Author cre8r Posted October 25, 2015 Author Posted October 25, 2015 Thanks NoProblem, but the point is I haven't rushed into sex. But the consensus here seems to be that she likes me and just wants to wait for some reason.
kilgore Posted October 25, 2015 Posted October 25, 2015 Thanks NoProblem, but the point is I haven't rushed into sex. But the consensus here seems to be that she likes me and just wants to wait for some reason. Because she cares about you, maybe, and wants it to mean something 4
StBreton Posted October 25, 2015 Posted October 25, 2015 Thanks StB., but if you're into the dude, why wouldn't you be ready for sex? It's not like she hasn't been around before. Doesn't make sense to a guy. I can only surmise that she wants to be sure of your intentions ...has nothing to do with this not being her first rodeo ...she just wants to make sure she's on the right horse before she does some team penning (oops I mean team pinning lol) 3
kilgore Posted October 25, 2015 Posted October 25, 2015 I can only surmise that she wants to be sure of your intentions ...has nothing to do with this not being her first rodeo ...she just wants to make sure she's on the right horse before she does some team penning (oops I mean team pinning lol) You said it better than i could 1
Author cre8r Posted October 25, 2015 Author Posted October 25, 2015 Thanks everyone, i appreciate your perspectives.
seekingluck Posted October 25, 2015 Posted October 25, 2015 Because she cares about you, maybe, and wants it to mean something Exactly! This is why I would wait. 2
StBreton Posted October 25, 2015 Posted October 25, 2015 You said it better than i could Thanks K:) and might I say you're looking very dapper this evening "neighbor" Not used to seeing "you" with so much clothing on lol 1
kilgore Posted October 25, 2015 Posted October 25, 2015 Thanks K:) and might I say you're looking very dapper this evening "neighbor" Not used to seeing "you" with so much clothing on lol Thanks! I thought it was time to have an avatar that called less attention to my junk
StBreton Posted October 25, 2015 Posted October 25, 2015 Thanks! I thought it was time to have an avatar that called less attention to my junk Someone's junk is another's treasure 2
kilgore Posted October 25, 2015 Posted October 25, 2015 Someone's junk is another's treasure More like a change purse
smackie9 Posted October 25, 2015 Posted October 25, 2015 My take on it is that she is expressing desire, and wants this to go in a serious direction. Just don't for get to express sexual interest by tell her in the moment that you find her irresistible, etc. Build up that sexual tension. 3
Ami1uwant Posted October 25, 2015 Posted October 25, 2015 My 2 cents.... I'm assuming you are both mid 40s to early 50s Has she been married before? For how long? What she said was basically if I let you in my house we may have sex but I'm not ready to do that just yet. 1
introverted1 Posted October 25, 2015 Posted October 25, 2015 This was the first kiss at her request, I don't think it's any physical female issues. She had invited me into her place last week and we just talked. No invitation tonight however. Also I think she's past menopause but could pass for 30 something. I sent her a thank you message for picking up the tab, she sent one back thanking me for the kiss. I don't know if she was making a statement that I shouldn't expect anything more than a kiss. So early to mid-50's? Not that it matters how old she is, but 51 is the average age for menopause with many women going beyond that. Like others, I think she was saying that, if you came in, she's didn't trust herself not to have sex and she's not ready yet. Just because a woman is not a virgin (or has had kids or whatever) doesn't necessarily mean she has sex at the drop of a hat. She can still want it to be with the right guy at the right time. 2
Author cre8r Posted October 25, 2015 Author Posted October 25, 2015 Ami, she's been married 3 times before. Introv, the question is, maybe I'm not the right guy for her. Maybe she's being pasive aggresive from something I did. It's kind of sadistic for a woman to tell a guy she won't invite you in because she doesn't trust herself. I might add that al dates I've been on my best behavior and only given a goodbye hug after leaving her house on date 2.
Survivor12 Posted October 25, 2015 Posted October 25, 2015 Ami, she's been married 3 times before. Introv, the question is, maybe I'm not the right guy for her. Maybe she's being pasive aggresive from something I did. It's kind of sadistic for a woman to tell a guy she won't invite you in because she doesn't trust herself. I might add that al dates I've been on my best behavior and only given a goodbye hug after leaving her house on date 2. She didn't say that she doesn't trust you; she said that she doesn't trust herself. Maybe she's reluctant to make the first move or wants to take it slow because moving too fast hasn't worked out before. 1
GemmaUK Posted October 25, 2015 Posted October 25, 2015 Ami, she's been married 3 times before. Introv, the question is, maybe I'm not the right guy for her. Maybe she's being pasive aggresive from something I did. It's kind of sadistic for a woman to tell a guy she won't invite you in because she doesn't trust herself. I might add that al dates I've been on my best behavior and only given a goodbye hug after leaving her house on date 2. You think she was being passive aggressive and sadistic?? Flippin' 'eck! Are you serious? What she said to you was a compliment!! She finds you sexy! 2
Chahy377 Posted October 25, 2015 Posted October 25, 2015 Had what I thought was a successful date #4 with someone, she even picked up the dinner tab while I was in the restroom. When I took her home she said she'd invite me in but she doesn't trust herself. However she did ask for a kiss and I gave her about a 15 second make out. My question is, and maybe a woman on this board could tell me if I'm getting the brush off or is this some kind of a test? When she said she didn't trust herself, I said it would be a good time to invite me in. Pretty confusing, help. I would agree with the person who said she wAnts to wait to see your intentions. Some women don't feel comfortable sleeping with men that they don't know their true intentions...If the man only wants sex/is genuinely into them/is playing them etc etc....I know I've regretted having sex with a guy too early before actually knowing if things are going anywhere or if they are jus yet using me...It can be a complete and unnecessary waste sometimes. 1
Versacehottie Posted October 25, 2015 Posted October 25, 2015 Ami, she's been married 3 times before. Introv, the question is, maybe I'm not the right guy for her. Maybe she's being pasive aggresive from something I did. It's kind of sadistic for a woman to tell a guy she won't invite you in because she doesn't trust herself. I might add that al dates I've been on my best behavior and only given a goodbye hug after leaving her house on date 2. She probably equates going in to going from 0 to 60. She doesn't want to give you the wrong impression of what she is willing to do and she knows it will be hard to stop herself and doesn't want to be a tease. She is still figuring things out--if she wants to go that far with you and if you can be trusted to stick around and really care about her. My guess is that she has been burned before and/or has old-fashioned values/game which is not a bad thing. My impression of how you are reacting is that "going in to the house" means to you exactly what she is worried about. She thinks you will want to go all the way. Why not try to pace things and be more spontaneous on your dates with the physical stuff? People are different enough that she is not going to be the same as every woman you have ever dated. Show her you can be trusted. I'm assuming you want a real relationship with her? Some guys might say/think well not until I test the physical chemistry--fair enough but then you two might be at an impasse. Try not to put so much stock into this one aspect of how fast your physical relationship is progressing; if you do, it's likely to implode. Some people move slower than others, with good reason. Good luck 3
introverted1 Posted October 25, 2015 Posted October 25, 2015 Ami, she's been married 3 times before. Introv, the question is, maybe I'm not the right guy for her. Maybe she's being pasive aggresive from something I did. It's kind of sadistic for a woman to tell a guy she won't invite you in because she doesn't trust herself. I might add that al dates I've been on my best behavior and only given a goodbye hug after leaving her house on date 2. Passive aggressive? How? Look, when she says she doesn't trust herself to invite you in, she is saying, in a playful way, that she is attracted to you and knows that if you come in, it's likely things will progress to sex because she won't have the willpower to stop it. That's all. If you like her, enjoy your time with her and I think things will progress in time. Stop overthinking!
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