An0nymiss666 Posted October 25, 2015 Posted October 25, 2015 I know the general consensus is never go back to the ex, especially when they're the ones that dumped you. But I've been dating on and off for over a year now. Haven't really gotten serious with anyone (no "official" boyfriend/girlfriend business). I'm actually beyond content being alone. I've given guys an honest shot and I just can't seem to identify with anybody. My interest is always piqued at first and then I just can't seem to hold desire or find chemistry past that initial interest in seeing someone new. Which I think is fine and normal, we're not meant to be with everybody. Recently he (my ex) has contacted me and we don't talk much, but there's been mention of working things out, he was wrong to break up with me etc etc. We were cordial for a short time after our breakup and identified our problems, but haven't spoken since then until now and that was a long time ago. My friend said I just don't give new guys a chance. But when I've been seeing someone for a few months and I'm just not feeling it, I can't agree with that. Another one said that if I really feel a loss by not giving it another shot with my ex and we do still have a connection and spark, then do it. I 'm not fishing for reasons to get back with him, I do want honest opinions. I really do love him, still. I wouldn't feel like I was settling for less. I mean I've dumped and been dumped before by others and I've never felt this way. They were all bad relationships with real reasons as to why they're over. Thanks, all...
smackie9 Posted October 25, 2015 Posted October 25, 2015 hey it takes two to tango....if your ex wants to try again, go for it. Make sure this happens with clear communication of your expectations and that he knows you are looking for exclusivity.
casey.lives Posted October 25, 2015 Posted October 25, 2015 do what ever you want but seriously...chemistry and "THE SPARK" isn't a good enough reason to get back with someone who dumped you .. it didn't sustain your last attempt an a relationship THEN... it won't do anything now either. The reason why your not bonding with the new guy is because you're not investing enough ..
Candle037 Posted October 25, 2015 Posted October 25, 2015 I would really take some time to see what you want first from him not the situation. If you do want something with him more then friends meet up and talk and go from here and post to us. People can grow and you will ease your mind that you tried ..of course if you are willing. 1
Ami1uwant Posted October 25, 2015 Posted October 25, 2015 In order to know if going back to him will work you need to understand why it ended and could those issues be fixed? I dont believe in never going back to your exs because sometimes timing wasn't right, or you guys wanted different things then but now you are wanting the same. If the issues behind the breakup have not changed then there is no point.
dragonfire13 Posted October 25, 2015 Posted October 25, 2015 I say go for it...it's hard to find people that you have deep feelings for and in this day and age it's all too easy to walk away from things that could potentially be resolved. If you don't go for it, you'll never know. However, I would take it very slow and perhaps even date other guys whilst in the early stages of reconciling with your ex. On a final note, I came out of a long term relationship thinking I would never meet someone I had the same chemistry with... but I really HAVE met some great guys recently... and I'm extremely picky. So if you're open to it, it can happen... my ex did try to get in touch but I was no longer interested.
J21 Posted October 25, 2015 Posted October 25, 2015 Has the situation or reason of why he broke up changed? Was it a nasty break up? If the situation changed from before, and it wasn't a nasty break up, then sure I would give it a shot. Just be sure to clear up the situation and prevent it from happening again and treat it as a new relationship rather than just picking back up from where you left off. If the situation is exactly the same, and you guys threw the kitchen sink at one another, then maybe it's better to move on.
EricaH329 Posted October 25, 2015 Posted October 25, 2015 There's absolutely nothing wrong for not wanting to settle for someone. If a person doesn't fuel desire inside of you, no shame in not wanting to date them. I think you are already ahead of most by being able to be alone (and being content with it!). It shows you are happy with yourself - which usually means you know what you want and don't want. I'm never against getting back together with an ex (unless the relationship ended due to abuse), but my advice would be to proceed with caution. Really be openly communicative with eachother, and try to work out the issues from the past before pursuing anything deeper. From your post, it sounds like you have your head on straight. Use that to your advantage!
Author An0nymiss666 Posted October 25, 2015 Author Posted October 25, 2015 Oh there weren't any abuse issues, we just found ourselves losing patience with each other and we both admitted it and talked about it previously. We've identified the issues but haven't discussed anything else in depth. I wouldn't just dive head first into a relationship with him again without discussing things like our previous issues again just to make sure. It definitely sounds like we've both done some growing but I still want to feel it out. I'm not seeing anybody else at the moment but like someone said I suppose it's not a bad idea to eliminate seeing others unless we 100% decide to work things out. I do have a couple of guys that are interested. If he's just having some moments of regret and nothing will come of it, I don't want to get hung up on this. 1
EricaH329 Posted October 25, 2015 Posted October 25, 2015 Oh there weren't any abuse issues, we just found ourselves losing patience with each other and we both admitted it and talked about it previously. We've identified the issues but haven't discussed anything else in depth. I wouldn't just dive head first into a relationship with him again without discussing things like our previous issues again just to make sure. It definitely sounds like we've both done some growing but I still want to feel it out. I'm not seeing anybody else at the moment but like someone said I suppose it's not a bad idea to eliminate seeing others unless we 100% decide to work things out. I do have a couple of guys that are interested. If he's just having some moments of regret and nothing will come of it, I don't want to get hung up on this. Sounds like you have this under control! I commend you for thinking logically about this! Shows a lot of character
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