Amy118 Posted October 25, 2015 Posted October 25, 2015 I joined this company in July. I like the job and I get on very well with my colleagues. Few weeks in I realized I started having feelings for my boss. I am quite sure he is attracted to me. I am single, I believed he also is because he never mentioned having a girlfriend, kept hinting he does everything on his own, often works 24/7, my colleagues also say the same thing about him). Office romance is normal where I live, no such rules as 'don't date your boss/coworkers' so it sounded like a good thing that we might both like each other or so I thought. Things started to get complicated when a week ago one of my colleagues tried to gossip about my boss seeing this girl who is also our colleague. She didn't say much, just dropped one line that they are seeing each other then nothing more. I was a bit shocked but generally I don't like involving in gossiping so I didn't comment or ask anything further but ever since trying to analyze in my head if what she said can be true. Things got more complicated when few days after that, my boss suddenly called me into his office and basically offered me a promotion. Sorry if I sound self conceited but I knew I am talented in my field and this is not the first time I got promoted early on, it happened a few times in my previous jobs but still this time it caught me by surprise since I was fairly new so I wasn't sure if the promotion was purely based on his fair assessment or it was somehow out of favoritism. He went on to say he sees how special I am and that he has his faith in me. I haven't accepted the offer. Now I am finding myself confused and hesitant. Work wise, I enjoy my job very much and I would love to accept the offer even more as it brings me a huge opportunity to advance in my career. It would also give me chance to work closer with him and spend much more time with him to get to know him more, and to be honest, hoping for something meaningful. But that's only if he doesn't have a girlfriend. If I accept the promotion and he is seeing someone already, I can see myself getting into trouble and heartache as I might fall harder for him when we work closer. I never was and will never be the other woman. I never want my happiness at someone else's expense. But I don't want to turn down this wonderful career opportunity just because of this unknown/uncertain thing going on in my head. But really I don't know how I can find out if he is already seeing that girl or someone else. He is my boss so I can't explicitly ask him, suggesting subtly or in a joking manner doesn't sound appropriate either. I am struggling right now that if I accept the offer, can I focus on my work and avoid getting involved with him romantically? What should I do? Any advice would be appreciated.
Ami1uwant Posted October 25, 2015 Posted October 25, 2015 Where are you geographically located? How old are you and him? In all honesty....don't go down this road...it will kill your career. Here in the USA just about all companies have sexual harassment and coworker dating rules. A universal one is the boss dating someone they supervise.
Author Amy118 Posted October 25, 2015 Author Posted October 25, 2015 We are in Asia. I am Asian. He is from Europe and has been living in my country for years. He is actually the company owner. Like I said dating coworker is common where I live. Actually there are a few couples in my company and it's perfectly normal so that's not something I would be worried about if we are both single. What I am concerned about is if he already has a girlfriend but has developed feelings for me so by giving me this promotion he can get closer to me. I don't know if I am overthinking this. I wish if turning down the promotion could be that easy. Honestly I am not finding excuses to convince myself to take it, this is just like my dream job. I only have one more day to decide whether I should accept the new role...
Inaa Posted October 25, 2015 Posted October 25, 2015 Accept the offer, forget about your boss. He's seeing one of your colleagues and you feel he's attracted to you? How long before he dates all the hot girls in your office? Just do your job and find yourself a boyfriend outside your work place. 1
Author Amy118 Posted October 25, 2015 Author Posted October 25, 2015 I don't think it's fair to jump to conclusion about what type of man he is based on a girl's gossip. The girl who said he is seeing one of our colleagues is also relatively new. Others who say he does everything on his own and never mention him having a girlfriend have been with the company for years. Anyway, I told myself this is just an office crush and if I don't let it develop then it will go away. I hope it will soon. I was just afraid it's often easy said than done.
Inaa Posted October 25, 2015 Posted October 25, 2015 The other girl confirmed she was seeing him, right? Your crush will go away if you totally banish the idea out of your head. Otherwise, who knows what may happen. I really hope he's not a pig who's taking advantage of his employees.
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