What was your final straw to go NC? I'm thinking I should go NC now...

[OK_computer]

What was last strike? The point of no return? When you were just like, 'I've hand enough of this?'

 

Right now, I'm thinking so hard about going NC, and only 2 weeks ago things were going well.

 

1. Known her 2 years, best friend for about a year

2. We've been getting into weekly fights

3. I'm unable to trust her the way I used to, perhaps b/c of my own paranoia because she talks to so many guys

4. I don't feel the closeness anymore

5. We're having fights before healing from the previous ones, and it's stockpiling and exhausting

6. Can't really make and effort, not able view her in the same lens I used to

7. Feel like giving up sometimes, feel like it's one sided--im putting in more effort than she is to try to make things work

8. I'm becoming self aware and insecure around her, which is affecting my moods--this is what's killing whatever we had.

 

 

But I have to work very closely with her, and see her EVERYDAY. I don't know how to start doing NC with a colleague, but I'm just about ready to do it.

 

What's hard is: Trying act like things are normal until they become normal or feel normal, when inside I feel resentful and regretful.

 

Idk how to start going NC in the work place? It'll be super awkward. I'll never have to be in proximity with her after the 20th of NOV. So...any suggestions? Talking about it with her just may make things worse.

[Simon Phoenix]

Talk about work, nothing else. You can't go full-blown NC, but if you keep it about business and nothing else, that's all you can do until you leave or she leaves. And for god's sake, don't have a "talk" about it.

[OK_computer]

Talk about work, nothing else. You can't go full-blown NC, but if you keep it about business and nothing else, that's all you can do until you leave or she leaves. And for god's sake, don't have a "talk" about it.

 

But I want to go full blown NC, that's the only way I feel I can heal and move on quickly. Maybe I have to keep LC then?

[Simon Phoenix]

But I want to go full blown NC, that's the only way I feel I can heal and move on quickly. Maybe I have to keep LC then?

 

Well, go full-blown NC except when you have to interact with her professionally. Or get a new job.

[Mrin]

Well, go full-blown NC except when you have to interact with her professionally. Or get a new job.

When I spent 2 days and nights in another woman's bed and could only think of her. I knew that something had to give

[Simon Phoenix]

When I spent 2 days and nights in another woman's bed and could only think of her. I knew that something had to give

 

Huh? Do you have multiple accounts or something?

[NoMoreJerks]

The cold, cruel manner in which he broke up with me. He was VERY cold. His eyes were almost glazed over. He displayed ZERO emotion. It's like he was a sociopath. Scary. Weird. So so freaky. It's like I was with someone for 1.5 years and I had met this new person who looked exactly like him but wasn't him. Also, that he dumped me 10 hrs after he had been pretending to be so in love with me, acting all lovey-dovey.... and breaking up with me when he knew my gramma was gonna die and how upset I was about it (she meant a lot to me, I was very close to her, and I couldn't go see her on her deathbed which made me feel so sh*tty). She died the day after, so that really made me set my mind not to contact him (until 3 days ago, when I had a weak moment and broke NC).

[Simon Phoenix]

Huh? Do you have multiple accounts or something?

 

Disregard this.

[Candle037]

So what really did no contact for me is that I realized I was clinging onto a part of this person that wasn't the reality like in the beginning. He was distant and refused to really go into how he felt about anything like he did with me. I found alot of conversations were about sex then he would disappear for a month plus and contact me like nothing happened. Not everything however was about sex but mostly at this time. When he couldn't see me he didn't give me the courtesy to tell me he just didn't show up then would text at a much later time like nothing happened not even addressing the issue. He would also do very unsettling things like post photos/ say things on media that was just specific enough that someone who didn't know what happened wouldn't know but I knew it was about me. I started getting very irate with him when it was over but he would constantly re initiate contact every 3-4 months. I continually said we aren't treating each other with respect and he didn't want what I wanted and once again he wouldn't contact me. I lapsed and contacted him 6 months ago only to once again reinforce what I wanted after thought of 2 months. So it's hard but I at times struggle that he will contact me again.

[contel3]

8. I'm becoming self aware and insecure around her, which is affecting my moods--this is what's killing whatever we had.

 

 

But I have to work very closely with her, and see her EVERYDAY. I don't know how to start doing NC with a colleague, but I'm just about ready to do it.

 

What's hard is: Trying act like things are normal until they become normal or feel normal, when inside I feel resentful and regretful.

 

For me this was the last straw. I realised it made me feel worse to have him around than to go NC. I also realised there was no point in pretending anymore. Only he got the benefits. The resentment was building up making me feel worse every day.

 

We also work together. Easiest thing to do is saying you're uncomfortable staying in contact and block her. You can talk about work related stuff but nothing else. If you see her during break you ignore her. The less you know about her the better. It's hard. You have to look them in the face every single day. Months later it's still hard for me....But it's worth it. It really is.

[Wewon]

Weekly fights are no good.

 

If I fight with someone that much, then I probably don't want them around or they don't really want me around.

[BC1980]

I decided to go NC because I wanted to move on. I couldn't take anymore humiliation at the thought of talking to him again. When I talked to him, I felt rejected again, and I just couldn't take that anymore. I needed to gain back some self-respect for myself.

[BC1980]

But I want to go full blown NC, that's the only way I feel I can heal and move on quickly. Maybe I have to keep LC then?

 

I think that it would be extremely difficult to work with an ex and move on. I'd recommend finding another job. I worked with my ex when were were dating, but he had moved on to a new job by the time we broke up. Unfortunately, he decided to return to the place we both worked after a year of NC. To say I was upset was an understatement.

 

It was rough for several months, and I don't even work closely with him. I remember being nervous I would run into him and going out of my way to avoid place I thought he might be. I remember getting extremely nervous and almost crying the first time I saw him from a distance. That was the first time I had seen him in 1.5 years, and just seeing him took me back to the days we were together.

 

Co-workers can also make it difficult. Everyone knew us as the "work couple," so it got awkward for awhile. People felt like they could just ask my anything about him or our relationship. It's difficult to move on in those circumstances. I was trying so hard to move on, but he just kept coming back into my life.

 

I guess what I'm getting at is that your situation seems 100 times worse than what I went through because you work closely with her and have never had a time of NC. You have two options:

1. Get a new job.

2. ONLY talk about work. You can't give an inch in that regard. Not even a "hello" if you pass in the hall.

[Meli22]

For me it was after months of my ex having doubts whilst we were together, doubts he couldn't explain. And months of distancing and being flaky but also being controlling. I had just had enough. I broke up with him and went into no contact on that day. Sometimes you just get to a point where enough is enough. It had started to affect my health too in a physical way.

[darkbloom]

I knew it was time when talking to him hurt more than not talking to him.