dumbass2 Posted October 25, 2015 Posted October 25, 2015 Would appreciate the 40+ year old crowd answering if at all possible. What are the top 5 things (or a couple more if needed) that you really really really need/want/desire from a man 40+ in order to see a long term relationship? Rank in order of priority.
Gaeta Posted October 25, 2015 Posted October 25, 2015 Connection. If I connect with him I won't care at all about the rest like job, education, money, status. 7
ScienceGal Posted October 25, 2015 Posted October 25, 2015 I'm mid-30s, but at least it'll be a serious answer. 1. physical attraction 2. same long term goals 3. financial stability and responsibility 4. honesty/loyalty 5. sense of humor 2
smackie9 Posted October 25, 2015 Posted October 25, 2015 I say the majority of the 40+ crowd already have their own money, career, etc. BUT I would like to see at least of equal financial stability. Science gal pretty much nailed it. I would add confidence/positive attitude and a true respect for women. 7
candie13 Posted October 25, 2015 Posted October 25, 2015 charm brains altruism/decency driven sex drive/ sensuality morals - capacity to stay faithful family + kids oriented I'll go fantasize some more now ! 6
ScienceGal Posted October 25, 2015 Posted October 25, 2015 I say the majority of the 40+ crowd already have their own money, career, etc. BUT I would like to see at least of equal financial stability. Science gal pretty much nailed it. I would add confidence/positive attitude and a true respect for women. Limiting it to 5 things is difficult! I think Gaeta nailed it when she wrote "connection"'. There are so many factors that create a connection, it's difficult to make a bullet list. And let's not forget one very important piece that can throw all others out the window: timing! Where we are at on our own journey when we meet a potential match will hugely affect how it progresses. 4
mrs rubble Posted October 25, 2015 Posted October 25, 2015 1) Faithful. 2) In control of his emotions. 3) Kind to the elderly, children and animals. 4) Free of addictions. 5) Finacially stable. 7
sambolini Posted October 25, 2015 Posted October 25, 2015 And let's not forget one very important piece that can throw all others out the window: timing! Where we are at on our own journey when we meet a potential match will hugely affect how it progresses. Yup. This is totally true, and works both ways. If you are still building your life, you may not attract someone who's already fully established. Likewise, if you are fully established, it can be difficult to be with someone who is still building their life. I fell into the latter category once, and there were many obstacles. Those obstacles eventually caused the relationship to end. That's why I only look for women who are established in their careers and are smoothly sailing along their journey. They have the resources, strength, and wherewithal to keep up.
BlueIris Posted October 25, 2015 Posted October 25, 2015 Personal Integrity Intellectual Ability and Curiosity Cute- to me Affectionate Views relationship as partnership, not competition 8
carhill Posted October 25, 2015 Posted October 25, 2015 My remembrance of the list (yes, she showed it to me) my exW had: 1. No apparent drug or alcohol abuse; No criminal record 2. Stable family 3. Owns a home 4. Stable income 5. Wardrobe (I think her phrase was 'has a suit and knows how to wear it'. We were both around 40 when we met and I found her list to be practical and appropriate for a woman who'd been divorced twice. 2
seekingluck Posted October 25, 2015 Posted October 25, 2015 Late 30s here: 1. connection 2. intellectually curious 3. life goals and well on track to make them happen 4. knows who he is 5. shared values 4
kilgore Posted October 25, 2015 Posted October 25, 2015 Late 30s here: 1. connection 2. intellectually curious 3. life goals and well on track to make them happen 4. knows who he is 5. shared values I like this list 2
todreaminblue Posted October 25, 2015 Posted October 25, 2015 if a guy loves god...everything that is good right and true is with him...... so a guy who has a love for god and living like he does...will be good kind true honest monogamous sensual..a diligent and gentle lover.......friendly loving caring compassionate altruistic loyal brave protective slow to anger quick to laugh..loves family loves children loves his parents...empathetic..generous hearted..i could go on and on.... i want a guy who can makes me feel like i can become a better person ....just by knowing him and i am not saying that there arent men who have these characteristics outside of a love for god....but having a love for god and living like he does love god....i feel covers all the characteristics i am looking for in a guy......which are many i know..so hence...yep i am single......deb
RoseWater Posted October 25, 2015 Posted October 25, 2015 A kind heart Physical and mental good health A great kisser with nice (not thin) lips Intelligence Sense of humour A fit body Sex appeal Mature, responsible attitude Contentedness with life A huge phallus Emotionally available and ready A good communicator
Siquijor Posted October 25, 2015 Posted October 25, 2015 My remembrance of the list (yes, she showed it to me) my exW had: 1. No apparent drug or alcohol abuse; No criminal record 2. Stable family 3. Owns a home 4. Stable income 5. Wardrobe (I think her phrase was 'has a suit and knows how to wear it'. We were both around 40 when we met and I found her list to be practical and appropriate for a woman who'd been divorced twice. If I met a 40 year old who had been divorced twice and handed me a list like this, I think my hearing would be permanently damaged with the alarm bells going off. 2
Haydn Posted October 25, 2015 Posted October 25, 2015 Bloke here.... 1 Appreciation of `Britpop` 2 Admirer of Skinny-hipster jeans. 3 Love`s their mother and is devoted to their kiddies. 4 Soft and cute but dead hard when the need arises. 5 Funniest bloke in the world. Killer one liners and amusing anecdotes which get better over time... She caught me.....
Maggie4 Posted October 25, 2015 Posted October 25, 2015 1. kind 2. good natured 3. polite 4. hardworking 5. talented
Tayla Posted October 25, 2015 Posted October 25, 2015 1: healthy(mind,body,spirit) 2: good family values 3: passion for life (and respects it) 4: inter-dependent 4.5: great sense of humor. 5: constructive, builds others up while maintaining a solid foundation. 1
sandylee1 Posted October 25, 2015 Posted October 25, 2015 Whilst I'm happily married - if I were single and on the look...this is my list.....this is apart from the obvious physical attraction I might add.... Kindness Sincerity Security Good lover Ambition These aren't in order of priority as they are ALL necessary. I wouldn't date anyone that didn't have all these qualities...at least not with the intention of a LTR. 1
Eternal Sunshine Posted October 25, 2015 Posted October 25, 2015 1. Integrity 2. Stability (just knowing where he is in life and that he plans to stay there) 3. Genuinely kind heart (no fake nice guys please) 4. Intelligence 5. Ability to communicate and of course "connection" - but I won't date someone with "connection" who doesn't have all 5 traits I listed Deal breakers: 1. Lukewarm about me and/or commitment 2. Addicted to drama (if he has an ex wife and a FWB that turn up unannounced and poor guy just doesn't know what to doooooo, yeah no deal). 3. Past evidence of totally mismatched values (swinging, open relationships and the like) 4. Bitter nice guy personality (i.e. thinking all women want money or 6 pack abs, doing nice things for people then secretly resenting them for it) 5. Dislikes animals 1
carhill Posted October 25, 2015 Posted October 25, 2015 If I met a 40 year old who had been divorced twice and handed me a list like this, I think my hearing would be permanently damaged with the alarm bells going off. I wouldn't know how to respond to that, other than to state that the list was unremarkable for my demographic and I respected her honesty. Think of it as all the stuff read in this thread, taken for granted, *plus* the list. That's what was normal. Dating was hard.
PrettyEmily77 Posted October 25, 2015 Posted October 25, 2015 1. 5'8 2. Imminent hair loss. 3. Single father, preferably with 2 boys in full blown teenage mode. 4. Says he can play the guitar, but can't actually play a tune to save his life. 5. Sexiest man alive. 4
thefooloftheyear Posted October 25, 2015 Posted October 25, 2015 Most women will say they favor the sweet and sensitive guy....That hasn't been my experience..The universal trait that just about all woman are attracted to is a guy who commands the room...The leader, the guy with the most confidence..The guy that other guys look up to....The guy that knows he's a cut above and doesn't really give a shyt what others think.. Now that's not to say that there isn't room at the trough for the others,...there are only so many to go around...so everyone finds their way eventually....Hopefully, anyway... TFY
seekingluck Posted October 25, 2015 Posted October 25, 2015 Most women will say they favor the sweet and sensitive guy....That hasn't been my experience..The universal trait that just about all woman are attracted to is a guy who commands the room...The leader, the guy with the most confidence..The guy that other guys look up to....The guy that knows he's a cut above and doesn't really give a shyt what others think.. Now that's not to say that there isn't room at the trough for the others,...there are only so many to go around...so everyone finds their way eventually....Hopefully, anyway... TFY Not exactly. I am pretty smitten with a guy right now who is confident, sensitive and sweet. These are not polar opposite traits. What is not attractive? Men who act "sensitive" and "sweet" and then complain they get nothing in return. They think acting like that makes people owe them something, then it is insincere. 2
Popsicle Posted October 25, 2015 Posted October 25, 2015 1) Mad nunchuck skillz 2) Loves anchovies 3) Can imitate Michael Jackson 4) Still gets morning wood 5) Watches chick flicks with me 4
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