LikkleMissConfused Posted May 23, 2005 Posted May 23, 2005 Recently started dating a guy two years younger than me. He is nice, not let me down ever and has taken me out on a few dates. We get on really well and are attracted to eachother. His exams have recently started and he has been under a lot of pressure. His first exam went really well and he texted me to let me know and thanked me for my support. The last exam (friday) went badly. I spoke to him on Friday and he wasn't in a good mood and didn't really want to talk. So I left him alone and haven't heard from him since. I sent him a sms on saturday asking if he's ok and that I have been real busy no reply. Tried to ring him on Sunday no reply and sent a text asking is soemthing is wrong and to call me when he has a few minutes free and nothing back. So the facts: He has major exams Has been attentive so far but not now I feel vunerabe and ignored I haven't contacted him since and I won't but do you have any advice for me because I am pulling my hair out. Its new relationship and he stated that it is exclusive and I'm not sure how to react if he does get in touch because I think he has been rather rude. HELP PLEASE!
moimeme Posted May 23, 2005 Posted May 23, 2005 First find out why he didn't contact you - IF he calls back. There could be a good reason. If you don't like the reason, tell him so.
lostinlove0479 Posted May 24, 2005 Posted May 24, 2005 that's my advice...to be ready for anything. I've been in your situation too many times and despite the guys busy schedule and such (school, working at night) they both were playing one role with me (it's all about me) and then I find out that there are holes in their stories and it really wasn't b/c I wasn't their only. From experience, don't put total trust in someone when the relationship is still new. It doesn't matter how attentive they've been for weeks or even a few months, it's just not enough time to see the big picture. For me that is normally around 6-8 months. Good luck but keep your eyes open. I mean, we must admit this. If he's been attentive thus far and now all of a sudden he's not calling, why is he not calling? I mean, there are 24 hrs. in a day, with most of that time spent doing things that allow us to pick up the phone. And in this case, he could've easily texted you if he didn't want to be rude and cut the convo or if he thought calling would mean talking for a long period of time. If you haven't seen any signs thus far, somethings telling me you will be soon, actually this no calling bit is number 1. I really hope that I'm wrong though. God knows, I wished it in my past. Good luck. lostinlove
Author LikkleMissConfused Posted May 24, 2005 Author Posted May 24, 2005 I really get what you are saying and you are right! It is strange that all of a sudden he hasn't called. And yes if he didn't want to be rude he could have replied to me texted. Ultimately when you put pressure on someone who is already under pressure they will only back away more. So I'm just backing off, but yes I'm wondering if its over too.
Author LikkleMissConfused Posted May 26, 2005 Author Posted May 26, 2005 Good news, Wednesday afternoon he called! He sounded rather tired and I think was listening to me and judgin gmy mood. He said sorry for the delay in getting back to me and also said he will call me later that night after the football but never bothered.
Author LikkleMissConfused Posted May 26, 2005 Author Posted May 26, 2005 What do I do with this bloke? It is all so confusing as I don't know where I stand and to be honest I'm getting put off by all this. We talked for a bit and this week is a heavy week for him as we discussed, so i have decided to wait until his exams are over and see what his mood is like after. If he doesn't bother making the effort then I'm going to say bye bye to this bloke. Because I am ready to put effort into a guy, i'm not clingy I have my own life go to the gym five times a week, ffamily commitments and my social life as well as relaxing. But I don't want what to be seeing a Mr.Invisible? I've stopped calling him, texting and basically have taken a step back and I think he knows it so do you have any other advice for me?
lostinlove0479 Posted May 26, 2005 Posted May 26, 2005 so how do u feel about him not calling like he said he would? i'm glad that he called...but u still seem to have doubts...
lostinlove0479 Posted May 26, 2005 Posted May 26, 2005 we must've been posting at the same time... my advice: he made time for football!
LikkleMiss Posted May 26, 2005 Posted May 26, 2005 Exactly! But living in ngland everything revolves around footbal and it didn't finish till 11pm so I can understand why he didn't call. I have decided that I will say something and if after his exams he doesn't start to make the effort with me then I'll just end it! I don't think he's worth it and if he is he hasn't shown me he is! I was shocked though to receive his call yesterday!
lostinlove0479 Posted May 26, 2005 Posted May 26, 2005 truly chick, just don't stress over this guy. try not to make it about him at this time, b/c if it's true that he is just busy and making time for what he wants to make time then "do you" as well. Just realize that he may be full of shyt. It may not be proved this time, maybe later, and maybe he's not. But, I believe when you recieve signs like this from a guy your really into, they should not be ignored or brushed off...and your not. I always believe that we know when we are being had (well most of the time). Example: I know for the guy I was seeing that pulled this "no call" stunt, he would always say he was going out of town to the country to visit his family. The thing with him going out there was that he couldn't get a signal so we would go the whole weekend without speaking. He went to the country 3 or 4 times in the time we dated. But, it wasn't until the last time that I found myself in hysterics b/c he said he'd be back on Saturday but decided to stay out there an extra day. I still don't know if he really was out there or not, but b/c of my reaction I have to believe that my heart could sense that something wasn't right that last time, whether he hooked up with someone out there or whatever... less than a month later he stopped calling me altogether and within that last month, things were extremely weird. My point is: There is a reason you are overreacting (i believe) for something that you probably would understand otherwise.
Author LikkleMissConfused Posted May 27, 2005 Author Posted May 27, 2005 Yes I agree, lostinlove. There is a reason why I am feeling the way I am and that is why I am lokign forward to seeign him after his exams so I can clear it him. One thing he can not do very well is lie. So face to face I ca nask him if he is interested in me or not? My intuition hasn't ever let me down and beleive me I'm taking note of it. I'm off to London this weekend to visit friends so he will not be on my mind. Also I'm not in so deep to get so hurt. Yes I don't like to be messed about at all, so we will see. I'm also really proud of myself as I haven't called him or texted him all week! Does he not notice this?
wakamiya Posted May 27, 2005 Posted May 27, 2005 Originally posted by LikkleMissConfused Yes I agree, lostinlove. There is a reason why I am feeling the way I am and that is why I am lokign forward to seeign him after his exams so I can clear it him. One thing he can not do very well is lie. So face to face I ca nask him if he is interested in me or not? My intuition hasn't ever let me down and beleive me I'm taking note of it. I'm off to London this weekend to visit friends so he will not be on my mind. Also I'm not in so deep to get so hurt. Yes I don't like to be messed about at all, so we will see. I'm also really proud of myself as I haven't called him or texted him all week! Does he not notice this? Way to go. I would suggest the same thing... you should not put yourself through that kind of stress. He'll more than likely try talking to you again after exams. As confusing as it is, you need to stay strong. Sometimes I think guys expect us to break down.. if he was judging your mood. So try not to let it get to you. Oh and have fun in London!
Author LikkleMissConfused Posted June 1, 2005 Author Posted June 1, 2005 Thank you wakamiya. He has called me a couple of times since my last post. We have chatted and its cool. However I also feel I am being impatient and he is taking things slow. Lets just see what happens but I can't have a relationship with with someone I do not see. Like you have said I'm really not stressing.
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