Ignoring someone you love, anyone here ever been in this situation?

[walkingonair]

So I've been ignoring my ex for the past 3 months and its the hardest thing I've ever had to do. I'm a very giving and caring person and always want the best for everyone and I have never ignored anyone I truly cared for. So this is something completely new to me and I'm realizing how strong I am.

 

I started ignoring my ex the moment he moved to another state. We never had an official break up but we were never in a real relationship. I mean we only saw each other and weren't dating other peoole and he contacted me everyday and did call me his gf at times but he had major commitment issues and I knew him moving ment that its completely over and I don't want to be his friends with benefits or someone he will come see from time to time when he's in my state. I want something real. So before he moved he wanted to see me but I ignored his texts. It was soooooo hard:((( But I knew I'd just get more hurt if I saw him a few days before his move. After that he kept liking all my Instagram pics and a few weeks later he texts me and says "not sure if you hate me cause you ignored my last text messages but im doing really well and I hope you are too". That text made me feel horrible because hearing that he's doing so well without me hurt and I didn't even ask him how he was doing. So I ignored after that he continued to like my Instagram pics and a few days commented on a pic and said Gorgeous.

 

Ignoring someone you love is so painful. But I feel so hurt that he just moved out of the blue for no real reason after we were seeing each other for a year and he called me his gf and made it seem that we were a couple and invited me to go on a vacation with him and bought me gifts for Christmas and my bday. I know we both had feelings for each other but his dumb issues got in the way. I will only respond to his contact if he says something meaninful and says that he wants me as a gf cause I don't wanna waste my time

 

Have any of you guys been in a situation like this? If so, how did you cope and get through it?

[OK_computer]

Ignoring is a form of NC, so yes I think it's safe to say most of us here have been there. Coping? It's super hard, but here are some ways:

 

1. Think of his flaws and focus on them

2. Keep busy

3. Pick up a new hobby

4. Work, career, ambitions?

5. Gym and exercise

[louxor]

Most people who have been dumped and then gone NC are in this position. You are essentially forcing yourself to ignore them because it's the only way in order to start to move on with as little setbacks as possible.

 

In my case, I haven't had any contact with my ex for about 40 days or so - I'm much like you, I'd also consider myself "a very giving and caring person and always want the best for everyone and I have never ignored anyone I truly cared for", so naturally it does hurt to have to ignore her. However, in this case, if I were to still keep in contact with my ex, then I would be ignoring the needs of the most important person in my life, myself.

[d0nnivain]

Honestly I think your problem is you missed out on the official end. You should have seen him that once last time before he left to say a proper good bye & leave it at that. You just sort of did the fade away because you made assumptions without talking to him.

 

 

Given what you describe as the undefined state of your relationship & his commitment issues he probably was going to end things rather than try an LDR but I think you would be having an easier time if you'd actually gone through that painful step rather than assuming.

 

 

At this point I don't know what to tell you. Talking to him one more time will set your "recovery" back but sometimes you have to go backwards to go forwards.

[walkingonair]

Honestly I think your problem is you missed out on the official end. You should have seen him that once last time before he left to say a proper good bye & leave it at that. You just sort of did the fade away because you made assumptions without talking to him.

 

 

Given what you describe as the undefined state of your relationship & his commitment issues he probably was going to end things rather than try an LDR but I think you would be having an easier time if you'd actually gone through that painful step rather than assuming.

 

 

At this point I don't know what to tell you. Talking to him one more time will set your "recovery" back but sometimes you have to go backwards to go forwards.

 

Thanks for your answer guys! You're right, closure would've been better but I was so mad at him and felt so disrespect end because he did lead me on in a way...