molcrad Posted October 24, 2015 Posted October 24, 2015 Long story short, my ex boyfriend ended our relationship after a year because he felt that he didn't make me happy anymore (I was having a rough time and he was very insecure), we were very much in love and did everything together. The breakup was sudden and he said that it came as a shock for him too, he admitted it broke not only my heart but his, too. After the breakup, he continued to lead me on as he was unsure he made the right decision but I soon put a stop to it and started NC. He said he would have wanted to try again but he felt things would just go backwards for us. We were a very happy relationship and rarely ever had big fall outs, never cheated or lied etc. I treated him extremely well and was always there for him, everyone knows that and he agreed. We were each other's first love and first time. We've been broken up for a month and NC for 2 1/2 weeks. He has just turned 18 and is acting extremely reckless and out of character. He goes out drinking and doing drugs a lot with older people he barely knows and not turning up to college. He is constantly sharing 'our songs' and offering to do me favours in class, yet talking on social media about how great he is feeling and randomly blocking and unblocking me on social media sites. I then find out from a mutual friend that he is interested in a girl he has nothing in common with, she's extremely attractive but is the exact opposite from me personality wise, he tweets about how much he is attracted to her on a Twitter account he has blocked me on. I know people will reply saying "move on" and "why do you care? he dumped you" but I can't help but think he felt like he had no other choice than to end it for me. Whenever I see him at college he acts really awkward and finds it hard to make eye contact yet tries to make conversation with me. I still love him ALOT and I am trying to move on without moving on in case he realises he made a mistake. Could this turn out to be a rebound and how do you think it will play out? Is he doing this to cope with the loss of someone he loved?
OK_computer Posted October 24, 2015 Posted October 24, 2015 Long story short, my ex boyfriend ended our relationship after a year because he felt that he didn't make me happy anymore (I was having a rough time and he was very insecure), we were very much in love and did everything together. The breakup was sudden and he said that it came as a shock for him too, he admitted it broke not only my heart but his, too. After the breakup, he continued to lead me on as he was unsure he made the right decision but I soon put a stop to it and started NC. He said he would have wanted to try again but he felt things would just go backwards for us. We were a very happy relationship and rarely ever had big fall outs, never cheated or lied etc. I treated him extremely well and was always there for him, everyone knows that and he agreed. We were each other's first love and first time. We've been broken up for a month and NC for 2 1/2 weeks. He has just turned 18 and is acting extremely reckless and out of character. He goes out drinking and doing drugs a lot with older people he barely knows and not turning up to college. He is constantly sharing 'our songs' and offering to do me favours in class, yet talking on social media about how great he is feeling and randomly blocking and unblocking me on social media sites. I then find out from a mutual friend that he is interested in a girl he has nothing in common with, she's extremely attractive but is the exact opposite from me personality wise, he tweets about how much he is attracted to her on a Twitter account he has blocked me on. I know people will reply saying "move on" and "why do you care? he dumped you" but I can't help but think he felt like he had no other choice than to end it for me. Whenever I see him at college he acts really awkward and finds it hard to make eye contact yet tries to make conversation with me. I still love him ALOT and I am trying to move on without moving on in case he realises he made a mistake. Could this turn out to be a rebound and how do you think it will play out? Is he doing this to cope with the loss of someone he loved? Exes move on, that's what exes do. NC is what you need to do in a nutshell. I know this is not helpful, but hardcore NC is what you need to do. Block him out of everything in your social media (even if he's blocked you), block him out of your visual field when you see him at school, and finally block him totally out of your life and never look back. If he comes back to you-there's no guarantee-when the time comes you can decide what is right for you. Until then, NC and never look back. Make some new friends and find another guy who will cater to your needs is more mature.
ExpatInItaly Posted October 24, 2015 Posted October 24, 2015 "I don't make you happy anymore" = "This relationship doesn't make me happy anymore either." He wasn't shocked when he broke up with you. It's not as though he randomly decided one morning to end it without having any reason. That's not how break-ups work. He knows why but he didn't want to hurt you. He had a choice, and he chose to end it. I'm not sure why you feel he had no other option than to end it for you? As for him blocking and unblocking you, he is playing games and only letting you see glimpses of his life when he wants. He is barely an adult and that's what immature people do. He likes someone else but doesn't want to fully cut you off because it might not work out with her. Don't ever allow yourself to be The Back-up Plan. It might be a rebound, or it might not. He's young (and I am guessing you are too) and you will both likely date plenty of other people. It isn't important if she is a rebound. What is important is that he decided you weren't the right girl for him. Don't wait around for him. Delete him from social media and stay away from him at school. Go back to strict No Contact so you can heal.
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