Haerts Posted October 24, 2015 Posted October 24, 2015 (edited) During the past few weeks, I've been working in a local store, for a contest. That contest is very important for me in many levels; if I win it, I'll have something big to show even before finishing college. One of the guys that work there has been flirting with me since the start. I didn't stop it because he's one of the biggest managers there, so I was afraid it would somehow damage my work, but I wasn't feeding it either. He's been contacting me more and more as the days go by though, and I don't know what to do. I have a boyfriend and I don't want a lover. The way he talks, he's clearly looking forward something. The problem though is that my boyfriend saw me chatting with him and asked who that guy was. So I said. He grabbed my phone and started to read my conversation with him. I took my phone back and said he shouldn't, and he was like "why not? Do you have something to hide?". I said he wouldn't like to read it, and then explained to him what was going on. He started to cry, he said he couldn't believe I was doing it. To be honest, I thought I was doing nothing wrong. I just didn't want to cut off the guy completely and risk being damaged somehow, but I wasn't flirting back either. But now I realize it was a mistake. I should've somehow stopped it before. Now I'm seeking some help here. I don't wanna break up with my boyfriend. I don't wanna see him sad. And I know it's not fair for him to know that I'm not pushing away someone who's flirting with me. On another note, I'm afraid if I stop answering that store guy, or block him, or whatever, he'll do something against my work. Idk, that's just how some people are when they don't get what they want. Btw, I'm not going to the store anymore; therefore, not gonna see that guy around. The contest finished past week. Results are yet to be released though, in a week. The guy invited me to his bday party next weekend. I'm not coming though. Any help? Edited October 24, 2015 by Haerts
hippychick3 Posted October 24, 2015 Posted October 24, 2015 (edited) If you ever feel your job or position is in any kind of jeopardy by refusing someone's "flirting," this is sexual harassment and is NOT okay. Edited October 24, 2015 by hippychick3 4
Author Haerts Posted October 24, 2015 Author Posted October 24, 2015 This is sexual harassment and is NOT okay. You need to put a stop to the flirting by your manager. If you feel your job or position is in any kind of jeopardy by refusing his "flirting," you need to go to the store owner. Thing is, like I said, it's not an actual job. I'm not being paid, unless I win. It's a contest a few students are participating. They're going to choose a winner and he's one of the biggest guys there. I'm afraid he would somehow manipulate the results, you know? And I'd never know, if that was the case. I'd never sleep with him or whatever just to win something. He's actually very kind, has helped me with it, and never harassed me or anything. He does know I have a boyfriend though and still flirts. I'm trying to figure out a way now to get out of it without hurting my boyfriend any longer or losing my chances of winning.
Ami1uwant Posted October 24, 2015 Posted October 24, 2015 Just because you are not officially an employee this is still sexual harassment. It's creating an environment. Most work policies say you don't do thus to contractors, interns, nor customers.
bluefeather Posted October 24, 2015 Posted October 24, 2015 That had to have been some serious texts if he actually cried. Sounds like there's more to what you are calling "flirting." 1
Author Haerts Posted October 25, 2015 Author Posted October 25, 2015 That had to have been some serious texts if he actually cried. Sounds like there's more to what you are calling "flirting." Well, he didn't cry when he read the texts. There wasn't anything serious in them. He cried after I told him that the guy was kinda hitting on me and I wasn't stopping him from doing that - I'd laugh or talk about something else whenever he invited me out or whatever. I didn't tell him that last part but it made him really upset to know that I wasn't stopping it; he said I was putting this contest above our relationship, which wasn't my intention, but thinking about it, it seemed like it. That's why I said I f'd up. Anyway, I decided to go no contact with that guy. Still afraid it will somehow ruin my chances of winning, but I'm happy with my decision. I should've stopped it before anyway, this whole thing is my fault too.
bluefeather Posted October 25, 2015 Posted October 25, 2015 this whole thing is my fault too. Yup. I'd consider you lucky if you are still in your current relationship. I wouldn't stand for that at all. It's incredibly childish. 2
LoveRefreshed Posted October 25, 2015 Posted October 25, 2015 Keep flirting to win.. or let your professional merits win or lose for you. Stop making excuses if you lose. Accept that you weren't the best.
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