Summerskybey Posted October 23, 2015 Posted October 23, 2015 There is a party tomorrow night. He is going and I was not invited. He is taking his ex and his sister (they are friends). He only broke up with her a month ago. We are in a fairly new relationship. There is going to be a lot of alcohol and pot. He plans on getting high and staying the night. She is going to get really drunk. I do not know anyone at the party or his ex. I am incredibly uncomfortable. What do I do? How do I feel better about this?
Truth34 Posted October 23, 2015 Posted October 23, 2015 I would feel uncomfortable too. This doesn't seem natural at all to me, especially since you weren't invited. In situations like this I just go back to a simple mindset. Do you trust the person? And if the answer is yes, why do you trust them? In your case, I would be scrambling to put on the "I dont care" front.
CarrieT Posted October 23, 2015 Posted October 23, 2015 Deal breaker. I would stop seeing him. Repeated for truth. 1
kismetkismet Posted October 23, 2015 Posted October 23, 2015 why is he taking his ex to a party to get wasted and crash there??? I think it's reasonable to be friends with your ex, but not SO soon after the end of a relationship. And not that kind of friendship either. Why can't he take you to the party?
deadelvis Posted October 23, 2015 Posted October 23, 2015 Too many variables to give accurate advice. What is his relationship like with the ex?
KatZee Posted October 23, 2015 Posted October 23, 2015 (edited) Good luck. Same garbage happened with my ex. Key word: ex. He was invited to a party, his ex was invited. They both got wasted. He slept with her that night, and proceeded to cheat several times after that with her. If he's not bringing YOU, his GIRLFRIEND to this party, then there's a reason for it. He wants to be around his ex, not you. It doesn't matter if the host of the party didn't invite you. You should be his guest by default of being his girlfriend. This is what non-shady people do. They bring their bf's/gf's. I stupidly gave my ex a pass. Not really even sure why. I should have dumped him then and there. Edited October 23, 2015 by KatZee 1
xcupid Posted October 25, 2015 Posted October 25, 2015 Hopefully after this "party" he will be your ex. 1
phineas Posted October 25, 2015 Posted October 25, 2015 And this is why I don't date people still in contact with ex's. Seriously, who does this? A guy looking to bang his ex. This guy must not have a lot of respect for OP since he actually thinks he can get away with this particular brand of nonsense. 1
katiegrl Posted October 25, 2015 Posted October 25, 2015 There is a party tomorrow night. He is going and I was not invited. He is taking his ex and his sister (they are friends). He only broke up with her a month ago. We are in a fairly new relationship. There is going to be a lot of alcohol and pot. He plans on getting high and staying the night. She is going to get really drunk. I do not know anyone at the party or his ex. I am incredibly uncomfortable. What do I do? How do I feel better about this? He only broke up with her a month ago? How long have YOU been dating him ... 1-2 weeks? Are you even in a *relationship* with him? Exclusive? Unfortunately, this early in, there's nothing you can say or do about it. If it were me, I'd dump him, clearly he's not over his ex, and it's too soon for him to be getting involved in another relationship in the first place. Be forewarned, he is not over her, obviously! 2
katiegrl Posted October 25, 2015 Posted October 25, 2015 And this is why I don't date people still in contact with ex's. Seriously, who does this? A guy looking to bang his ex. This guy must not have a lot of respect for OP since he actually thinks he can get away with this particular brand of nonsense. Well she is the who led him to believe that..... 1
Mrin Posted October 25, 2015 Posted October 25, 2015 Deal breaker. I would stop seeing him. This. Ten characters
EricaH329 Posted October 25, 2015 Posted October 25, 2015 Have you told him how you're uncomfortable with him going to a party with his ex? Also, knowing that he just broke up with his ex a month ago - and she's still a part of his life - what made you think that getting into a relationship with him would be healthy at all? I'm sorry to say, but I don't see this ending well.
savvy2008 Posted October 25, 2015 Posted October 25, 2015 There is no way I'd be okay with it. There's a difference in being in a new relationship and not wanting to cause drama, so to speak, and being totally uncomfortable because what he's doing is wrong, but not speaking up. I am uncomfortable with my boyfriend going anywhere like that with an ex or someone he may have trouble controlling himself with or vice versa. You shouldn't play with fire. Going to a party where your judgment will be blurred with a newly labeled ex girlfriend, without your current girlfriend there...so stupid. Either he's an idiot and you need to explain to him how to show you respect and use proper judgment, or he doesn't care about you as much as he cares for her. If you ignore this and "let it slide" you are paving the way for him to treat you however he wishes.
Inaa Posted October 25, 2015 Posted October 25, 2015 There is a party tomorrow night. He is going and I was not invited. He is taking his ex and his sister (they are friends). He only broke up with her a month ago. We are in a fairly new relationship. There is going to be a lot of alcohol and pot. He plans on getting high and staying the night. She is going to get really drunk. I do not know anyone at the party or his ex. I am incredibly uncomfortable. What do I do? How do I feel better about this? How old are you? I'm sorry but I don't think he sees you as his girlfriend. If you were his girlfriend, he would take you the party with him. Not his ex. And contrary to what many people here think, I don't think it's normal to be friends with your ex-es especially if you're dating somebody. So if he couldn't take you to the party, he shouldnt' go himself too. If you want, you could try and talk to him about it but I think he's already made his desicion.
Candle037 Posted October 25, 2015 Posted October 25, 2015 Your posting as you sense something very wrong here. THERE IS. Send him packing.
veggirl Posted October 25, 2015 Posted October 25, 2015 a- why are you dating a guy ONE MONTH out of a relationship? b- why aren't you invited to this party? if it's a party where people are getting high/wasted and spending the night, it sounds like it's a free for fall college party. I'd dump him, this relationship is pointless and I'm assuming you guys are around 20 yrs old so yeah.
PogoStick Posted October 25, 2015 Posted October 25, 2015 You're not his girlfriend after a week or a few bangs. Most likely he'll be banging someone other than you at this party. Sounds like typical young love / stupid relationships.
phineas Posted October 25, 2015 Posted October 25, 2015 Well she is the who led him to believe that..... Very true. This has happened to me before and ive learned if you need to tell someone that something like this wrong it's time to go. No person concerned with losing someone would behave this way.
Survivor12 Posted October 25, 2015 Posted October 25, 2015 First, although you refer to having a "new relationship", have the tow of you committed to being exclusive? Have you been on dates or just hanging out? If you have had the exclusive talk (which seems really soon), you have every right to be angry & to let him know that going to a party with his ex without you is not acceptable. Personally, I wouldn't even bother explaining...I'd just dump him & move on. On the other hand, if you have just been hanging out & have not discussed being in a committed relationship, he's entitled to see & spend time with whomever he chooses--but in light of the fact that he is choosing to spend time with an ex and that they only recently broke up, I'd advise saving yourself from getting any more involved & walk away now.
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