moonglow Posted May 23, 2005 Posted May 23, 2005 When men say they need time to work out their feelings, do they ever come back?
bstill Posted May 23, 2005 Posted May 23, 2005 I am a man, and I can say I personally havne't known a man who has ever said they needed space, so Ican't provde any insight other than what has already been posted elsewhere on the board. Could you give everyone a little more information? Some details would be helpful.
The Prototype Posted May 23, 2005 Posted May 23, 2005 I have seen this MANY times, and almost always the number one reason for this is the guy is too immature to make a commitment (however serious/unserious it is - could be marriage, could just be dating). Usually this is indicative of an inherently selfish quality - "I like things now a lot, but I am worried something better may come along". Bottom line is, they often come back around, it is a matter of whether you are cool with that. The phrases "taking a break" and "I need time" are coy ways for guys/girls to keep their foot in the door while exploring their options. Details may help the answers though, as noted above.
TheBarnacle Posted May 23, 2005 Posted May 23, 2005 hmm, the other posts might over-simplify this some...but as a guy who's used this frequently (in the past), i can say tell you he doesn't really want to be in the relationship (whatever that is at the moment). he does like you, enjoy spending time with you, having sex with you, etc. etc. but.... anytime i've said "i need time and/or space", it's bee VERY true. i did...what i failed to actually do was give myself that time/space i said i needed. so...give him his time/space. if he does come back (unlikely...sorry), then make sure he HAS done whatever work he needed to do on his own. to answer your specific question: yes...sometimes they come back. mostly they don't. and if they do, they havn't gotten that "i need time" out of their system. they'll still be unresolved/committed with their feelings. but i'm cynical, so take this with a grain of salt.
The Prototype Posted May 23, 2005 Posted May 23, 2005 IMO, this is typically more about issues with the person saying it, not with the relationship at hand. They would have said that to ANYONE. So don't take it personally, I have learned that often from experiences. You could have swapped another ten guys in my place, it still would have happened because THEY had issues.
TheBarnacle Posted May 23, 2005 Posted May 23, 2005 Originally posted by The Prototype IMO, this is typically more about issues with the person saying it, not with the relationship at hand. They would have said that to ANYONE. So don't take it personally, if it wasn't completely evident in my previous post....i agree. this is his issue. he doesn't want this (or any?) relationship. he's selfishly trying to ease out of it and still be a nice guy. don't sweat him.
Author moonglow Posted May 24, 2005 Author Posted May 24, 2005 Thank you all for your replies. I am guessing that it didn't look good. He did say - just give me a couple of weeks. I have thought - you should know if it's in your heart. It's either there or it's not. I don't think that it's fair to make someone wait while they decide what they want. I've already started grieving and by waiting (for the inevitable I believe), it just prolongs the process.
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