PaperCrane Posted September 10, 2015 Posted September 10, 2015 That was my plan yesterday, until she came forward with the question... It went down from there. You decided to answer the way you did. That kicked in your own door to pain. Right now she's a snake, and snakes bite. Always assume she will. I'm having yet another relapse today as well, damn I long for the day the poison exits my body. I loved her deeply (and still do) so it may be why I'm having such a hard time letting go, even after 29 days. There has not been a day I didn't cry since she left... You're in love with the feelings your situation together gave you now. Because she is gone you're going through a literal addiction withdrawal. Any contact reignites the addiction. Responses in bold.
Author Deleted User Posted September 10, 2015 Author Posted September 10, 2015 Responses in bold. As much as I hate to admit it, you're right... My problem is I really can't see this tunnel ever showing me some light I still feel a lot better reading everyone's responses, though
PaperCrane Posted September 10, 2015 Posted September 10, 2015 I lived a similar experience, so when I say something it's because I trod the same path. I got large and let myself go. In less than a year I dropped over 100 pounds. Fixed my financial situation and literally pulled myself out of living in my car to a nice 3 bedroom place. In the year following, because of the changes I made; A new and healthy circle of friends, have healthy BP and cholesterol levels, some new pets, girls have asked me out, I started on a hell of an adventure with one girl that's bound to be a "the one that got away" story which will be a total trainwreck disaster that I'll probably post the end of on here at some point. The whole take from this is, is that life does keep going on. She is not your life. You are your life. Relationships are about sharing your life. Make a life worth sharing. 1
Author Deleted User Posted September 10, 2015 Author Posted September 10, 2015 I still have a long way to find it in me to find the motivation to go forward... Ultimately, I know time heals, I've been there before. It's just that, this one lady, this one.... I *really* thought I'd never have to go through this again... This is where my desperation comes from, me thinks. Add to that the fact that, to me, she was the absolute physical perfection (I like 'em short, stacked and curvy, and she had all that in spades). No choice but to look forward, as hard as it is.
Chi townD Posted September 10, 2015 Posted September 10, 2015 You need to look at it as just one more heartbreak before you're with the girl you're truly meant to be with. I'm serious dude. You need to start doing the positive changes I told you to consider doing. And yeah, I know you're down 30 pounds or so. But, that's called the break up diet and not a healthy way to lose weight.
Author Deleted User Posted September 11, 2015 Author Posted September 11, 2015 Of course, the initial shock made me lose the first 5lbs in the first day. However, I'd credit my new eating habits to my weight loss. Whereas I'd usually grab a McD on the way home or some greasy poutine, fried chicken, you-name-it, I completely switched to whole wheat bread, water, veggies of all sorts, no more dessert (I eat grapes instead), lean chicken breast, the works... My head and thoughts were so far away, lost in space, that I didn't even feel the withdrawal from pop, sugar and fat. Now I eat infinitely better and don't plan on stopping anytime soon! I want to reach 200, which is my ideal weight (I have the build to carry 200). I'm still having relapses, but it's better. Hung out with some friends tonight, which helped. Also, boxing starts Saturday, can't wait! Cheers! 1
Author Deleted User Posted October 23, 2015 Author Posted October 23, 2015 My 12yr LTR girlfriend broke up with me last August 12th. As such, it's now been 72 days since. I am not feeling well, at all. I've had my ups and downs over the last 10 weeks, but for the last week or so, mostly downs. Some stats: 1) She was with me from ages 16 to 28. Me, from 23 to 35. 2) I was her first everything. She was my first serious. Things that have happened to HER in the months before she left: 1) She started playing hockey, made a billion new friends. 2) Got more mood swings, more frequently and lashed out at me. Things that have happened to ME since she left me: 1) I bought back her equity in the house we bought together. 2) Lost 41lbs. (I was way overweight. Still am, just 41lbs less.) 3) Bought some furniture to replace what she took when leaving. We have stayed mostly LC while we were sorting things out for the house ownership, but now we're NC. She's blocked me on FB, although I unfriended her first. She has said to me the trigger which made her leave was decided in a fraction of a second in the morning of Aug 12th, just after we had a small argument soon after we woke up. However, she also added she didn't love me anymore and according to her (and unbeknownst to me), things were "bad enough" that we shouldn't have bought a house together (even though she was happy and fine with it at back then, or so I thought). I know we shouldn't always take the dumper's words at face value minutes after a BU, but still, it resonated with me, a lot. Now, I still deeply love her, which is why I'm still reeling on Day 72 just like I was on Day 1. What are your thoughts on reconciliation in my situation? Am I just kidding myself? Should I (try and fail to) kill this gut feeling I have that she'll contact me soon/someday? I'll take any input you have on this, for I'm too weak to think rationally right now. Thank you.
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