Deleted User Posted September 4, 2015 Posted September 4, 2015 This will be long... In 2003, I met my now ex-gf. She was 16, I was 23. Everything was cool and we took things easy. In the 2nd yr of our RS, she moved in with me, it was easier for her with school and she didn't have to hunt down places to live while she went to CEGEP and university (CEGEP is wedged in between high school and university here in Quebec). She also asked we get a cat, she loves cats (I love them too) and was a way to test my commitment to her. So we got a cat. Early 2006 I lost my job and moved out west to Alberta. Original plan was for her to come along with me and study there, but she backed out of it (too far from her mom, etc...). Late 2006, I decided to come back to QC and we ended up in another city, where she could attend university. Also, cat #2 enters the home. It's now 2007 and we're still together. She's now 20, beautiful and the attention from her b/f wasn't cutting it. I stumbled across her profile on DeviantArt which I was unaware of, and yes, it did include nudes, complete with comments from strangers which she happily replied to. It's as if she was living a double life. She was not the sweet girl I knew anymore. Yet, we worked through this and things got back to normal... It's not 2011, she's done studying and found employment. We're still together and plan to buy a house, which we end up doing in 2012. She's 25, she now cooks like a queen, but is still the same messy girl (she would not clean up after herself). She starts knitting, creates a group with other knitters and spends LOTS of time there. I'm okay with that, knitting seems to make her happy, even if she's not at home as much as before anymore. She has a handful of friends, which she claims is enough for her. She works, we enjoy ourselves (movies, restaurants, NYC trip, etc). Things are just great and I'm more confident everyday that we'll grow old together. It was then that I started thinking "nothing will tear us apart". Then in April of 2015, a friend asks her if she'd like to join their female "dek hockey" league and team. She accepts, buys her equipment and joins in on the fun. And then... She started being very physical towards other players, swore like a trucker, her agression started to show through. In an instant, she also ended up with a trillion new friends, her FB friend list exploded overnight. When we fought, she'd take her frustration to her new "friends", many of which are single. Also, many dudes play dek hockey and they're all in MUCH better shape than I ever was (I'm grossly overweight, while she's beautiful). We grew distant. I was distressed with her NEVER being at home anymore and always finding a way out of the house to be with her exciting new friends. I complained. She stopped cleaning completely, spent way more time on FB and such. Then last Aug 12th, in the morning, we fought. I yelled the things that irked me, she got up from the bed, got dressed and left. So this is how she ended our 12yr relationship. I'm crushed, devastated, obliterated. I still am, 23 days later. She told me straight to my face that she doesn't love me (and doesn't know since when)... told me she NOW wants to be happy.... that I'm worthless.... that my body was the reason her libido was so low.... and that not once in these 3 weeks she has thought about me. All her stuff is still in the house (which I'm trying to re-buy alone), the 2 cats, everything. She took as little as she could and is staying at a friend's while we're sorting things out with the house and our joint debt and credit cards. It's been 3 weeks, and I'm not feeling any better. I know she'll start seeing people soon, and the thought of her being physical with someone else is killing me over again, it's like being murdered multiple times. I'm a sobbing mess and honestly can't see any light in this tunnel. Thoughts/tips are welcome, as well as comments. I'm up for anything, I'm already beat up beyond recognition. I have hit rock bottom. Thank you.
Christos Posted September 4, 2015 Posted September 4, 2015 I am sorry for you friend. I know how it feels. This is so much pain. There is nothing you can do but endure it until it passes. I will be blunt with you, because you need to hear this: There is a 99% chance your ex isn't going to start to have sex with other men, she actually has already began. All those hours she was absent, with her friends, weren't simply playing hockey... They played other things too... Also, this woman doesn't respect you anymore. There is nothing you can do to keep her. There is nothing you can do to make her come back. She will only come back if she needs a back up plan, only short term and then she will dumb you again and again. You made a mistake, of getting a really young girl, never letting her "live the party life", and trying to make her a lifelong wife, but you didn't actually try to compete with your competition in her age bracket. It's painful, but you have competition. And this competition is fierce, in a day and age where emotions, relationships, marriages, nothing matters, only self-satisfaction. I am not saying what she did was right, she is a wh*re. Pure and simple. You did so much for her, you took care for her, you are dedicated to her, you made her the woman of your life, and once she found the opportunity she did this... What can you do? 1. Get in shape. Start dieting and hit the gym. 2. Date other women. Don't be afraid if she learns about it. She already does the same, and there is the chance she will get jealous (slight chance though). 3. Be tough with her. If she wants to come back, make her fight for it. You are, in some ways, her leader. At least you were supposed to be. Her mentor. Teach her a life lesson in humility. You should have done it sooner. Don't be weak. If she never comes back, that's ok. You don't need a specific woman to be happy, certainly not one who disrespects you. 4. Focus on your career. Find hobbies. Do stuff. Get busy. I know it's hard, but it will get better.
Zagan Posted September 4, 2015 Posted September 4, 2015 She told me straight to my face that she doesn't love me (and doesn't know since when)... told me she NOW wants to be happy.... that I'm worthless.... that my body was the reason her libido was so low.... and that not once in these 3 weeks she has thought about me. Thank you. When you are having thoughts of her with other guys, keep reminding yourself of these things that she has said, and be glad she won't have an opportunity to say those things to you again. 16 was a very young age to enter into a long term commited relationship. There is so much growing and evolving that occurs over the time period from teenage to late 20s. Often people completely change, it's natural. From the art profile with the naked photos I'm assuming she was enjoying the attention and comments from other guys since she was engaging them. This was a sign of things to come. You know what you should do? Channel your hurt, anger and frustration into feeling good about yourself. Eat healthily and exercise, start off small at first if you aren't comfortable enough yet to hit the gym (like working out at home, even doing exercise tapes is a workout and you don't have to feel subconcious about anything). Change the things about yourself that you don't like. But do it for you. Learn to like and love yourself and everything about you. You have your whole life ahead of you and there is somebody who will love & appreciate you unconditionally out there, don't waste it on somebody who could say those things to you after 12 years of commitment. Let her see that you can survive without her and can better yourself and be attractive to other people too. But don't do it for that reason, no matter what, you have to let her go. The 28 year old her isn't the 16 or 20 year old her that you were with before. She's evolved into the person she wants to be now so let her go be that person, and you go be a better person and attract better people, in time.
Author Deleted User Posted September 4, 2015 Author Posted September 4, 2015 Thank you, guys... Now, I need to add specifics too. The group of friends she started to play hockey with were all females. But, since the hockey environment is for both genders, they all eventually mixed up. She also started spending LONG hours at their goalie's cabin (she's a 55yr old woman). She has a boat and my ex liked to hang in there A LOT. I also need to add that whatever she started, she abruptly ended most of the time. Remember the knitting? Yeah, when hockey started, she left the very group she so tightly "knit" around herself. Also, all is not her fault. I'm the kind of guy who complains and argues when he sees things that aren't right. She's a teacher, and she'd always ask me to correct her grammar. At some point, I insisted it was on her to improve in this area since SHE'S the teacher... I mean... come on.... People let her handle their children's education, it's only fair you put in the efforts and not be complacent. Because of this, and her chronic clumsiness, I would often yell at her. She'd clutch her fists, cry and say nothing :( She also told me I wasn't showing enough affection, which I have to say is true. I never once thought she'd hold it against me, though. I would have hoped she'd have told me BEFORE leaving... My head thinks of all these shortcomings, and says it happened for the best. Yet, my heart sinks everytime I see pictures of her. She's a beautiful young lady and had absolutely everything I looked for in a woman, at least, physically speaking. She was so much out of my league it's not even funny. I'm sure at some point, people in the mall looked at us wondering wtf a girl like that was doing with a guy like me. All of that is gone, now... Thank you again, guys.
PaperCrane Posted September 4, 2015 Posted September 4, 2015 I went through something similar when my RS of 8 years imploded. I took it day by day, worked on myself. I wrote a list of everything I disliked about myself and what she disliked about me. I wrote out a paragraph on each reason why someone would find that unlikable and if it was a core component of me or not. If it wasn't, I found ways to change them. Now, a couple years later she keeps coming around. I've lost weight, am self sufficient, and have my things in order. She, meanwhile, moved back in with her parents. Hasn't progressed her education or made any attempts to better her career. She fell into a similar group before the breakup. Bunch of single people out having fun and she "has to go home and blah blah blah". Well, we see how far the desire to get out got her. Even if she was doing fantastic, I saw that nothing would come of it. Hell, we were together for 8 years and we didn't get married. That doesn't speak well for the health of the relationship. You guys sound like you hit 12 years with no marriage. Not only that she was 16 when you met. Doesn't sound like she got a lot of time to explore the world. It called, she went. The best thing to do right now is for you to build your life again. Go full unconditional NC (minus business type stuff; bills, credit cards, etc) DO NOT TALK ABOUT THE RS. It will reset your heal-o-meter.
Knight23 Posted September 4, 2015 Posted September 4, 2015 Despite adding in those little details, it still sounds as if most of fault lies with her friend. 16 is extremely young, and she isn't going to be the same person she was in her teens than she is now as an adult. People will change when they want to, regardless of how you feel or how anybody else feels about it. A tell tale sign that something was already wrong were those nude photos. She might not have done anything physical (yet), but she was definitely eating up the attention. But just because she changed for the worse doesn't mean you have to follow in her self-destructive footsteps. Change yourself for the better instead. Work out, get in shape, and build up your confidence and self-esteem and start dating again, because chances are that your ex already has (if she wasn't already doing it while you guys were still together). Keep your chin up man, there's always going to be someone out there that's better for you.
Author Deleted User Posted September 4, 2015 Author Posted September 4, 2015 Hell, we were together for 8 years and we didn't get married. That doesn't speak well for the health of the relationship. You guys sound like you hit 12 years with no marriage. Not only that she was 16 when you met. Doesn't sound like she got a lot of time to explore the world. It called, she went. Keep in mind that here in Quebec, 90-95% of couples live in civil union and rarely (if ever) marry. Marriage is just not high on the priority list in the province. So for us Quebecers, marriage is not the (usual) outcome of a LTR.
Author Deleted User Posted September 4, 2015 Author Posted September 4, 2015 Thank you for the support, guys. It has always been a huge problem for me, to meet women. Don't ask me how, but so far, the 3 girlfriends I've had were all WAY WAY out of my league. Unfortunately, they all share a single trait: in all cases, I was their 1st b/f. It seems like I have a curse or something. I don't have kids and don't want them, so that alone shrinks the pool of candidates close to absolute zero. And among those candidates, how many of them will be attracted to a guy who likes routine and predictability? Yeah... that's how many. I have started dieting already. In fact, when she left, I was so much in shock that everything inside my body shut down. First day alone I lost 4lbs. Right now, after 23 days, I have lost 22lbs. I eat infinitely better, have taken pop out of my menu and no more dessert. I had so much sugar in my system that I had started to lose sensation in my lower legs. Now I can feel them just fine. So it's not all gloom. Deep down in my heart, though, I still cry myself to sleep everynight. And this from a grown up, 35yr old man's man. This tiny lady left a huge gaping hole in my soul.
Chi townD Posted September 4, 2015 Posted September 4, 2015 Okay, so you weren't boyfriend of the year. Point out to me where there is a perfect guy? They don't exist! You had a lot of things going against you. She was 16 when you started to date her. What we want when we're teenagers are going to be a hell of a lot different then what we want when we're in our 20's. We change. And what is a 23 year old doing with a 16 year old?!?!? Dude, you realize she probably still had stuffed animals on her bed when you met her? I'm just saying that because you have to understand that she was probably too immature to handle being in such a long term relationship. And I have to agree with Christos. She probably was already cheating on you. That probably would explain why she turned into a pit viper on you. She had to demonize you in her mind so she wouldn't feel guilty about what she was doing and actually felt justified in doing it. " I wouldn't be here doing this with this other guy if he wasn't such a jackass!" Make sense? So, what you need to do is get your revenge. And the best revenge you can get is to lead a damn good life! First thing you need to do is pack up all of her crap. Pack it up and drop it off at her mom's. You don't need that constant reminder around you. Then, block her on all of your social media. ALL OF IT! Then, you need to start making positive changes in your life. If you are grossly over weight, then you need to lose it. Not only to look good, but for your health. You're starting to get to the age where bad things can start to happen to your body. So, get to a gym and I would STRONGLY recommend getting a Personal Trainer! They cost anywhere between 15 to 35 dollars a session. But, he/ she will give you the right exercise plan to maximize your weight loss. And if you eat right and get plenty of sleep. You'll be working towards that rock hard and ripped bod that girls are definitely going to like. Then, get new hobbies! Keep busy! If you get new hobbies, then there's probably clubs in your area with people that have a shared interest! So, join a running club or cycling club. Take dive lessons or photography courses or a cooking class. Get out and keep busy and do fun things you enjoy! Go grab some friends and go skydiving or white water rafting, or cattle driving or indoor skydiving or scuba dive. Then, travel!!! Go see the world! Pick a place that you always wanted to go see; save for it, make a plan and GO!! Get out of your comfort zone! Where are you at? Quebec? What the hell is there to look at in Quebec! Go see something new! Dude, do NOT believe a word of what she said to you as being true. PROVE HER WRONG!!! 1
Author Deleted User Posted September 4, 2015 Author Posted September 4, 2015 Thanks for the kind words, Chi. There is one huge detail that will keep me from doing all these things for at least 2 years: buying her out of the house. The bank seems to be okay with my numbers, but it will also mean all my expenses will double overnight. So travelling and personal trainers are out of the question for 2 years (in 2 yrs I'll be done paying for my car and other expenses, which will leave me with more disposable income). So unfortunately, even though I need to be having fun, the expenses that come with having fun will keep me from it. Temporarily at least. I do intend to pack all her stuff, but her mom lives way too far for me to simply drop it off there. Her mom's 325 miles away and I'm not wasting one penny in gas (or otherwise). I'll pack it all and push the boxes in a corner of the house while she finds herself another place to live. The place she is right now (at a friend's) is so tiny she has to keep her teaching material in her car... yeah. One step at a time...
LoveIsMyReligion Posted September 4, 2015 Posted September 4, 2015 You should have ended it when you found out she was posing nude on the internet. Instead you decided to continue seeing her because you thought that you couldn't do any better. This girl never got a chance to spread her wings because she got into a relationship with you at such a young age. Think about her needs and wants for a moment and consider being selfless for a moment and letting her go. If you truly loved this girl let her go for now. I know it's hard to see any light at the end of the tunnel but you need to take small steps on improving the way you see yourself. If you can't look in the mirror and say "I'm an amazing person" then how do you expect someone else to? Build up your self confidence, go to the gym, figure out who you really are, become happy with who you are. By relying on someone else to make you happy you will only bring them down. Someone once said the easiest way to lose someone is by wanting them too much. 1
Chi townD Posted September 4, 2015 Posted September 4, 2015 (edited) Thanks for the kind words, Chi. There is one huge detail that will keep me from doing all these things for at least 2 years: buying her out of the house. The bank seems to be okay with my numbers, but it will also mean all my expenses will double overnight. So travelling and personal trainers are out of the question for 2 years (in 2 yrs I'll be done paying for my car and other expenses, which will leave me with more disposable income). So unfortunately, even though I need to be having fun, the expenses that come with having fun will keep me from it. Temporarily at least. I do intend to pack all her stuff, but her mom lives way too far for me to simply drop it off there. Her mom's 325 miles away and I'm not wasting one penny in gas (or otherwise). I'll pack it all and push the boxes in a corner of the house while she finds herself another place to live. The place she is right now (at a friend's) is so tiny she has to keep her teaching material in her car... yeah. One step at a time... Okay dude. You're making excuses. I mean, if you can't afford a gym membership, then SAVE about 100 bucks and buy P90X. Do your workouts from home. I understand needing to pay things off! Believe me, I know. That's why you save and plan. Take a couple of bucks that you would have spent on soda and set it aside. those dollars start to add up over time. And if you research your trip, you can find deals at different times of the year. I'm not saying "pick up and leave right now" Save and plan. Do something nice and enjoyable for yourself for a change! Edited September 4, 2015 by Chi townD 1
Author Deleted User Posted September 8, 2015 Author Posted September 8, 2015 Well, back full time to the world of hurt I guess... Found out she met a dude days after she made a Tinder account. Pictures only, no description. Dude is 10 younger than I am (and 3 years younger than her). How can she be with someone, NOT EVEN THREE WEEKS, after she ended a TWELVE YEARS relationship?!?! Argh..... my heart pretty much stopped beating when I found this out
theredpill Posted September 8, 2015 Posted September 8, 2015 She's doing this because some men an women will stay with their partner, even when they don't love them anymore so it's easy for them to move on whilst the other person is still shell shocked when the break up happens. As hard as it is to do, you must understand that her words cannot hurt you, they're just words - only you give them weight and validity. Your thoughts are yours, men have the unique talent of being able to focus on one single thing at a time (only women can multi task) so if you're not thinking about her and doing something else, it's a win, win! I'm going to reinforce the comments already posted, join a gym today, pick up the phone and join it, no excuses. Go 3 times a week, taking the weekend off (before work is the best option, it'll lift you through the entire day). At the weekend, go visit friends (close friends you can trust) and get out and enjoy yourself. This will feel alien at first, but you'll soon start enjoying yourself again. As your weight drops off and your shape improves, this will give you so much more confidence than today, in fact you'll look back in 12 months and think, woah did I really let myself go that much? Only you can do this by focussing on you, not her or what she's doing. Don't speak to her or contact for any reason once you've sorted out the things that need sorting. Friends is off limits, stick by this and tell her straight. We feel you pain, I broke off an 11 year relationship with my daughters mother - even though I wasn't in love it still hurt, this is why she's looking for closeness. Accept responsibility for your actions, by your own admission you let yourself go - understand this is the cause of your pain, not her. Work on yourself and drill it into your head, you will never, ever let it happen again. Will she come back when you're the best version of you, well the figures suggest a 1 in 10 chance, if she has any feelings left. The best way to deal with this is by moving on and giving yourself options, my previous ex hated me, got with a guy within a week and pretty much laughed in my face (3 months after I had a minor heart attack) 4-5 months later when I'd sorted myself out and had been dating an even hotter women, she was back crying for another chance and you know what I said.... "sorry tiger, I'm with someone else now so good luck and I hope you find what you're looking for" although perhaps not as polite as that We feel your pain and know the solution, it's up to you to make it happen. Find Corey Wayne on YouTube and Infinite Waters (Diving Deep) wealth of information for bettering yourself and learning emotional control. Good Luck, we're here to help
Author Deleted User Posted September 8, 2015 Author Posted September 8, 2015 She's doing this because some men an women will stay with their partner, even when they don't love them anymore so it's easy for them to move on whilst the other person is still shell shocked when the break up happens. I feel so used because of this. All these years I made sure she was fed/safe/comfy/etc... Yes, I wasn't the most affectionate partner, but I still deserved better. As hard as it is to do, you must understand that her words cannot hurt you, they're just words - only you give them weight and validity. Your thoughts are yours, men have the unique talent of being able to focus on one single thing at a time (only women can multi task) so if you're not thinking about her and doing something else, it's a win, win! Problem is, I'm solely focusing on her, even though I know I'm only hurting myself. The day I think about something else can't come soon enough! I'm going to reinforce the comments already posted, join a gym today, pick up the phone and join it, no excuses. Go 3 times a week, taking the weekend off (before work is the best option, it'll lift you through the entire day). At the weekend, go visit friends (close friends you can trust) and get out and enjoy yourself. This will feel alien at first, but you'll soon start enjoying yourself again. As your weight drops off and your shape improves, this will give you so much more confidence than today, in fact you'll look back in 12 months and think, woah did I really let myself go that much? I have, in fact, decided to take boxing with some co-workers. They're all behind me and could also use the extra exercise themselves (or so they say!). When she left me, I weighed 324lbs. I'm now down to 299lbs thanks to walking and eating better/healthier (and also thanks to emotional shock). Only 99lbs to go and I'll reach my goal. Only you can do this by focussing on you, not her or what she's doing. Don't speak to her or contact for any reason once you've sorted out the things that need sorting. Friends is off limits, stick by this and tell her straight. We feel you pain, I broke off an 11 year relationship with my daughters mother - even though I wasn't in love it still hurt, this is why she's looking for closeness. I've had other girlfriends before, but absolutely none for as long as anywhere close to 12 years. The loneliness is an absolute killer. That huge gaping hole in me has to be visible from the effin' space station. Accept responsibility for your actions, by your own admission you let yourself go - understand this is the cause of your pain, not her. Work on yourself and drill it into your head, you will never, ever let it happen again. I am never letting anything/anyone (except for illness, which I have little to no control over) in the way of staying healthy once I reach my goal. I know that, ultimately, I'm the one who got so heavy, I became complacent and had that "she's not leaving" feeling after a couple years together. Now, looking back, I know better... Will she come back when you're the best version of you, well the figures suggest a 1 in 10 chance, if she has any feelings left. The best way to deal with this is by moving on and giving yourself options, my previous ex hated me, got with a guy within a week and pretty much laughed in my face (3 months after I had a minor heart attack) 4-5 months later when I'd sorted myself out and had been dating an even hotter women, she was back crying for another chance and you know what I said.... "sorry tiger, I'm with someone else now so good luck and I hope you find what you're looking for" although perhaps not as polite as that Well, I have so much difficulty meeting people I doubt I'll ever have the luxury or turning anyone down, really. Still, I have zero hope about her changing her mind. I need to get myself buddy/buddy with the concept of living alone now. We feel your pain and know the solution, it's up to you to make it happen. Find Corey Wayne on YouTube and Infinite Waters (Diving Deep) wealth of information for bettering yourself and learning emotional control. Good Luck, we're here to help Thank you I'm trying my best to hang in there and will use all available resources 1
theredpill Posted September 8, 2015 Posted September 8, 2015 I like your attitude dude, the superior man admits his mistakes and works to better himself, the inferior man blames others and does nothing. Clear which one you are!
Author Deleted User Posted September 8, 2015 Author Posted September 8, 2015 I like your attitude dude, the superior man admits his mistakes and works to better himself, the inferior man blames others and does nothing. Clear which one you are! I absolutely admits all the mistakes I've made, not sneaking my way out of bearing their weight. I was an ******* many times, lacked respect when she was vulnerable, yelled at her when she let her clumsiness overtake her, you know, the works... On some aspects, I was a terrible boyfriend, and many times I wondered if I wasn't the father she never had... I wasn't the most affectionate either. These are all things I've had the past 4 weeks to think about, to ruminate through and to ultimately accept as my personal failure. I now have a clearer view of how things should be, and get an immense pain knowing she won't be around to see these changes. On the other hand, I was also one to push her forward, encouraged her to get her driver's license, to go thru university and even to learn how to drive stick. I was happy to buy a house with her, to have a place to call our home. I was overjoyed when we went to NYC in 2013, all the smaller things in life which I enjoy the most, I could share with her. I know the road to recovery will be long for me, while it appears she's over it all already. I find solace knowing that I've grown into a better person through this painful experience all the while all she did was hang around with her new friends and play hockey. She didn't see anything wrong with how she went about the relationship so she could not grow from it. Likely, the mistakes that were hers will happen again down the line with whoever she's with at that time. With that said, I'd welcome her back with open arms and would give my life to have another shot at showing her how the breakup changed me. It won't happen, though. She's done through and through. I'm thankful for you, random people on the Internet, for sharing some of your time with me
Chi townD Posted September 8, 2015 Posted September 8, 2015 With that said, I'd welcome her back with open arms and would give my life to have another shot at showing her how the breakup changed me. It won't happen, though. She's done through and through. You know what's funny about this? If you stick to a strict NC and you make those positive changes in your life, pretty soon the idea of having her back won't be a pleasant thought anymore. You'll be like, "Meh...I'm enjoying single life way too much!" Trust me on this. 1
dental Posted September 8, 2015 Posted September 8, 2015 I applaude your honesty, you sound like an unpleasant and unattractive spouse, and freely admit to that. Best path to follow is improve yourself, imagine what identity you want to have and make wise choices to achieving your goal. This relationship, as you obviously know, is completely finished.
Author Deleted User Posted September 10, 2015 Author Posted September 10, 2015 Took a HUGE step back yesterday night... We had agreed to meet because she had to sign papers (I'm buying her out of the we had bought together). We met at 8:30PM and she signed said papers. Then, before she left, she turned around and asked me why I removed her from Facebook. This puzzled me quite a bit, honestly. So being the good guy, I replied "because I dread the day you'll proudly click In A Relationship with whoever that is". Then, out of the blue, she started laughing histerically, said I was being ridiculous and that I should snap out of it and that from HER point of view, it wouldn't bother her AT ALL if she saw ME in a new relationship. Well, NO SH_T Sherlock!!! Of course you wouldn't, YOU are the one who broke up everything around me. She couldn't even understand that I was sad, broken and still loving her. I felt insulted, stepped on, crushed, you-name-it. I locked the door behind her and dropped on my bed in tears. I long for the day I can feel better about me/life/everything
PaperCrane Posted September 10, 2015 Posted September 10, 2015 Yeah...that just let her fuel her ego. Once again, women hate thinking someone doesn't like them. When you said what you did it proved to her that you still had feelings for her and she got to gut you over it. A proper response would be "Because we're over. You don't need to see my life and I don't need to see yours. Bye." Hope things get better.
Chi townD Posted September 10, 2015 Posted September 10, 2015 I agree, you just fed her ego. But, just take solace in knowing that she noticed that she was removed from that part of your life. That she was looking. I'm glad that you got the papers signed. Now you can truly enter into NC. I already told you how to get your revenge. Now, it's time to do it.
Author Deleted User Posted September 10, 2015 Author Posted September 10, 2015 Oh, not everything is done yet. Still many papers left to sign still, so it's not the last time we have to meet. I'm still shaking from the whole thing. It seems she can't even process I have feelings and they have been crushed. Never thought someone (which I loved with all my soul and cared about for so long) could do such a 180 and become the meanest person I know. Only silver lining is because of the shock value of the breakup (in my case), I'm now down to 297 pounds, from 324 only 29 days ago. So, yeah, Walmart has clothes that fit me again, hehehe Still, I can't wait until everything is over and done with, then I can go completely blacked out, nowhere to be seen (from her side, at least).
Chi townD Posted September 10, 2015 Posted September 10, 2015 Then the next time you have to see her. Business only. Nothing personal. Take care of business and get the hell out of there. Strictly business!!!!!
Author Deleted User Posted September 10, 2015 Author Posted September 10, 2015 Then the next time you have to see her. Business only. Nothing personal. Take care of business and get the hell out of there. Strictly business!!!!! That was my plan yesterday, until she came forward with the question... It went down from there. I'm having yet another relapse today as well, damn I long for the day the poison exits my body. I loved her deeply (and still do) so it may be why I'm having such a hard time letting go, even after 29 days. There has not been a day I didn't cry since she left...
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