Remystacks Posted October 23, 2015 Posted October 23, 2015 Well.. 4 months today it ended. No reason or explanation, he just left. Everyone kept saying itd get better with time but it doesn't. I still cry everyday. I used to wake up and feel such joy and now some days I can barely function. Is it supposed to take this long to get over someone? I've tried dating and I go on one or two then disappear on them.. My hearts not into it. I just don't have energy to give love to someone. I don't have anyone to talk to and I feel like I'm losing my mind.. I keep wondering if maybe I did something wrong, wasn't pretty enough, smart enough, have enough money. I'm a med student so I didn't have a lot of money when we were together. Maybe he found someone else. Not that knowing would make it hurt any less.. I just want to know what to do to take this pain away. I don't want to feel like this anymore..
CT98 Posted October 23, 2015 Posted October 23, 2015 4 months isn't that long at all when dealing with a break up, it's also too soon to think about dating IMO. You say you don't have the energy to give to anyone, and that's not surprising. You can however give love to yourself; asking your self if you weren't pretty enough or didn't have enough money etc is plain wrong. STOP IT. Everyone's self esteem takes a battering after being dumped, but you need to start recognising that you're great in many ways. You're a med student? Wow, you must be very smart, much smarter than myself! That's a great career to get into. You say you don't want to feel this way anymore, to recognise that is a positive, because that means you can dedicate yourself to making yourself feel better. There are many ways you can do this, and there are plenty of suggestions on this board alone, let alone all over the rest of the internet, but only you'll know what will truly help. In short, 4 months is still the beginning of the healing process, so don't beat yourself up. In another 4 months you're going to feel so much better.
TheLoveBelow92 Posted October 23, 2015 Posted October 23, 2015 I am in a very similar situation to you and only recently started feeling better 3.5 months after my break up, ive been beating myself up everyday about what I should have done better and what could of been, but I was never given the chance to change or even try and that's OK, I had to accept that because although i made mistakes I tried very hard too. After all break ups people have a lot of questions from both sides and sometimes there just isn't an answer for some of them, but you are getting there and time is proving that, As CT98 said "You say you don't have the energy to give to anyone, and that's not surprising. You can however give love to yourself; asking your self if you weren't pretty enough or didn't have enough money etc is plain wrong. STOP IT." they are right. You need to be ok with yourself again before opening up to someone else, you need to surround yourself with friends and build your confidence back up again, As for me I am only coming around the same bend myself, my confidence is pretty shot at the moment and im not fully over my ex although I know the relationship has well since sailed and she has moved on. That is OK tho. Im not ready to open up to someone yet but that will come with TIME as much as that can suck to here. Hope this helps in some respect, I know you can get through it, and you will come out a better person for it
chrisinhidef Posted October 25, 2015 Posted October 25, 2015 I am in a very similar situation,...November 1st will be 3 months, it is really hard and I definitely have sympothy for you. She was the love of my life, Im afraid I'll never find anyone like her again. Just dabbling in self improvement. It is a good distraction. Everything in my personal life outside from that is going great as a result from not letting negativity into my life. I got a substantial pay increase at work, fixed my credit, lost a few lbs, cut down on cigarettes, bought a second car, building a little nest egg and the plan is to buy my first home in the spring of 2017, but its not the same without her. I would give it all up and start from the beginning if it meant I could have just one more day with her. Unfortunately it doesnt work like that. Just remember, your a great person in many ways like was stated earlier, stay positive, self improve, love yourself, your a med student and thats great, think about when your done and a doctor dont let this unravel everything you worked for. Your going to get through this and will be a stronger person for it, thats what I keep telling myself too. I know the feelings of wanting to shut down and curl into a ball and cry for days but dont. you WILL get through this and find someone better. Just some positive words I'd like to share.
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