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Did I truly betray her? Do I have a better chance at getting struck by lightening?

Kylemopar

By Kylemopar
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Kylemopar Established Member

Kylemopar

Posted
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Okay, I'm in quite the predicament. I know that the main response would be to leave this girl alone and never talk to her again...but I'd rather die. I've been talking to this girl for a few months. Long story short, we have gotten VERY close sharing intimate secrets, sexting, sending each other pictures, and planning to meet up a few times (although we haven't met yet).

 

Here's why it's so hard. She's 23, with a 5 year old child and no job...who also lives with her ex and his parents. She was with him for 7 years and obsessed with him for 3 years. He cheated on her so she cheated on him. He has called her a piece of ****, non deserving of her child, and emotionally abused for years. She has contemplated suicide. That was before I met her, I pulled her out of that ditch. I gave her a reason to smile and keep living. I gained her trust.

 

Her ex has been wanting her back recently but she keeps pushing him away because she just doesn't trust him. She has told him that she may not be able to stay true to him and that she may want a new relationship to see if a good man like me may cheat on a good woman. He doesn't let her out, takes away her phone, yells at her all day, has her clean and cook without helping her. She only stays because of her daughter, or else she would have been long gone.

 

I messed up recently. I visited her/his house because I was in town, I just stopped by to ask her if she's okay cause she hasn't been texting back all day. So I was worried and ask if she finally wants to meet that day. So I waited in the corner of her house for 5 minutes. When I saw her ex walk out of the house, he had her phone all day and saw my message. I drove off before he got close. She was furious because I caused a problem, because I didn't think about what I could've have gotten her into. They got in a fight and argued in front of the daughter. She later forgave me that night, saying that I was an idiot. We sexted for a bit until we both went to sleep.

 

The next day she doesn't respond until 5pm saying that they are moving out because he's freaking out and getting paranoid saying that he doesn't feel safe there. They're moving to a family members house. She told me that she's feeling overwhelmed and to just give her time that she doesn't see us being together anytime soon. We talked for a bit and sexted again. Before any of that happened she had gotten mad at me for 'betraying' her trust, by telling her sister that she needs to get out of the house and how unhappy she is. She hates having people in her business, she utterly hates it. She forgave me and made me promise to never talk to her sister about her business again...but after the whole moving thing happened I asked her sister to convince her to come home that she's planning to move and that she's bit happy at all. She's depressed again. Little did I know that she read her sisters messages...she got furious again. Telling me that I'm horrible, that she can't trust me and this time to just seriously leave her alone. She said bye.

 

My heart hurts...I cant go on anymore. Her making me laugh, smile, and feel each day only to be taken away from something so stupid when she basically stays with her ex who lies to her and screams at her all the time. She said that I betrayed her trust for the last time...

 

So I was thinking. If I just leave her alone for now, and date other peoplso I won't feel as empty. Will she ever come back to me? Will she ever realize that the life she's living isn't the one she wants to live in? Each time I asked her if she wants to live like that forever she always says, I don't know. That she's doesn't want a relationship, not yet. We have planned to meet up and have sex one day, she says that she wants me so bad that it kills her that she thinks about me everyday. But I don't think she does anymore since she overwhelmed with all that's goung on including that fact that I betrayed her again. So should I give up completely? Lose all hope? She still has me as a friend on Facebook, if that means anything. She has liked some of my posts where I talk about having a future wife. But I think my chances are completely gone now. I know you guys may think I creepy because I haven't met the girl yet. But it's like we're pen pals who have fallen in love (well me at least) with the words. When he had taken her phone away before she says that she thought about me, that she missed reading my annoying text, she had a video of me that she watches over and over again.

 

What should I do?

h0000 Established Member

h0000

Posted
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" She's 23, with a 5 year old child and no job...who also lives with her ex and his parents. She was with him for 7 years and obsessed with him for 3 years. He cheated on her so she cheated on him."

 

 

 

 

It baffles me how some men are attracted to these sort of women.

 

 

You should go find a better girl

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Kylemopar Established Member

Kylemopar

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Its not about what she has. It's about her heart. She could be the ugliest woman ever who has 10 thousand kids but ow oils have still fallen for her for the way we have talked.

h0000 Established Member

h0000

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Its not about what she has. It's about her heart. She could be the ugliest woman ever who has 10 thousand kids but ow oils have still fallen for her for the way we have talked.

She obviously hasn't finished with her EX and she's already sexting you you really think this is a women with decency and integrity ?? $200 bet she's still sleeping with him.

 

 

She is unable to sort her life out and get things organised, not responsible for her kid (how can you raise a kid with no job??) and her own life (how messy her life is with her ex) you really think you will have a bright future with a woman like this??

 

 

Good luck if you want to get down that path.

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mystikmind2005 Established Member

mystikmind2005

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Well, your operating on allot of assumptions there, that is your main problem i think?

 

People like to complain about their 'partners' its natural, but you have taken it all too literally i think and then gotten all up in her business. Your the guy who turned up naked at the nudist party but which was really a 'noodles' party!

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Kylemopar Established Member

Kylemopar

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She has slept with him once...she says that she doesn't want him anymore after that. That she doesn't desire it from him anymore. She does take care of her daughter, she spends all day with her. She's a great mother, she just can't provide for her financially. She has looked for a job but right now she just die at care anymore, she had a job at her exs parents' restaurant but her ex had her fired.

 

My question was if I leave her alone, no contact at all, will she realize how much she misses me? And do what it takes to be with me? Yes I believe that we can ave a succeful relationship, I have asked her if she would cheat on me, and she said that she never would, that I dont ever deserve to be cheated on. We have talked about relationships and we both want the same thing, she has said that a relationship with me sounds perfect.

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Kylemopar Established Member

Kylemopar

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Let me clarify, she is single. She says that he's not her boyfriend. The one and only reason she sticks around is for her daughter because she suffers without her. That's it.

Ami1uwant Established Member

Ami1uwant

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" She's 23, with a 5 year old child and no job...who also lives with her ex and his parents. She was with him for 7 years and obsessed with him for 3 years. He cheated on her so she cheated on him."

 

 

 

 

It baffles me how some men are attracted to these sort of women.

 

 

You should go find a better girl

 

Assuming she is even real.....

Ami1uwant Established Member

Ami1uwant

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Let me clarify, she is single. She says that he's not her boyfriend. The one and only reason she sticks around is for her daughter because she suffers without her. That's it.

 

Ever hear of getting catfished....

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Kylemopar Established Member

Kylemopar

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She is real. She has sent me pictures of herself...I'm friends with her on Facebook including her sister and mother who both think I'm fantastic. If she want real then why would her ex, who I seen pictures of come out all super angry.

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Kylemopar Established Member

Kylemopar

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She has sent me nudes.

rbrock2323 Member

rbrock2323

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I'm curious, does your username imply you're a Chrysler guy?

Versacehottie Established Member

Versacehottie

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OMG, she is drama. Let's assume she is telling you the truth (i doubt it but will go with it for sake of argument): she has horrible judgement. I get it you must be attracted to the damsel in distress and want to save her. I'm going to guess she is the type who will spend her life jumping from guy to guy who gets suckered into/and off on saving her. If she had good judgement, she would find a way to leave and take her kid out of an abusive environment. If she had good judgment she wouldn't be stringing along some guy (you) while she is still dealing with her baby dad (ex or current, who really knows). She has her own family right? And you are crossing a lot of lines with showing up and talking to her sister about those sorts of things. Girls who love drama get upset about that because it messes up their game and the lies they have going on. Normal girls who don't like that (a lot wouldn't/most) would dump you and not look back. sorry you are hurting but maybe it's the wake up call you need. This is a dead end, huge burden and a bunch of drama. :sick:

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Kylemopar Established Member

Kylemopar

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She's telling the truth. Her ex has kicked her out more than once. When I first met her she was depressed, staying at her moms house. Her IG consisted of breakup and reconciliation quotes. A lot of guys have tried talking to her, she has sent me screenshots and replies to non of them. She says that I'm kind of the only one she talks to. She has sent me screenshots of texts from her ex asking him what he wants from her if he wants nothing to do with her at times.

 

Her sister knows that she isn't with her ex because there was once a guy who talked to her as I did but nothing happened because he lived too far. Everyone tells her to leave her ex but she only stays because of her child

ExpatInItaly Established Member

ExpatInItaly

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Meh, you're being used for the attention. Do you enjoy that? I doubt it.

 

And yes, showing up uninvited at her house was completely inappropriate of you.

 

It's done.

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MidwestUSA Established Member

MidwestUSA

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You have NOT EVEN MET this girl yet?!

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Kylemopar Established Member

Kylemopar

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We have tried, her ex just never lets her out of the house. He says he doesn't want her to go anywhere because she's his daughters mom. We have had so many close misses, where I leave before she gets there.

fitnessfan365 Established Member

fitnessfan365

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Realistically, they're probably an unhappy married couple that stay together for the daughter's sake, and they live w/his folks to save money. That's a lot more believable than a girl who would choose to stay with a terrible ex and his folks, over her own parents, other family members, or even friends of hers. I mean come on man. You do realize that people lie/make stuff up all the time don't you? I'm not saying she isn't unhappy with her life. But chances are she created a web of fiction to draw you in and take her mind off her life. Catfishing 101. You have absolutely no proof that anything she tells you is the truth.

 

But let's say for a minute this whole thing was true. What part of having a five year old, no job, living with the "ex's" parents, and a history of cheating seems like great dating material to you? Every aspect of that description screams STAY AWAY. Basically what it boils down to is that you're attracted to her pics and like the sexting. You even said in your post that you planned to meet up one day and have sex. It's got nothing to do w/her as a person and before you say that it does, there's no way you can claim to know her because you never even met her.

Edited by fitnessfan365
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xcupid Established Member

xcupid

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Sorry to say but you're living in a fantasy world. Nothing good will come of this "fantasy relationship" you have with someone you've never met.

 

 

Go out and find a woman to have a REAL relationship with.

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Ami1uwant Established Member

Ami1uwant

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We have tried, her ex just never lets her out of the house. He says he doesn't want her to go anywhere because she's his daughters mom. We have had so many close misses, where I leave before she gets there.

 

She really is mid 40 using pictures of her daughter.

 

You will never meet her and you are wasting your time.

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mystikmind2005 Established Member

mystikmind2005

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We have tried, her ex just never lets her out of the house. He says he doesn't want her to go anywhere because she's his daughters mom. We have had so many close misses, where I leave before she gets there.

 

Gosh.... red flag parade on steroids!!

SugarLips72 Established Member

SugarLips72

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What a hot mess. You must be extremely desperate, naive and gullible. You have an internet relationship with this woman based on this fantasy life you have made up about her. She is a liar and a mess, and has not been honest with you on anything. Who cares if she has sent you nudes, she has probably been texting other guys. Have you even met her before this?

 

This sounds like a Lifetime TV movie. Admit it, you are obsessed with a woman who has probably lied to you, stringing you along, and this whole thing sounds laughable if you ask me. Grow up and get a clue and stop developing fake relationships with women who you have not even met.

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kendahke Established Member

kendahke

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What should I do?

 

Re-read your first paragraph because you already know what you need to do:

to leave this girl alone and never talk to her again...but I'd rather die.

 

Quit being dramatic. This chick doesn't want you. If she did, she'd act like it.

 

She's not fit to be in any relationship with anyone. She's got too much she needs to be in therapy working out. She needs a shrink more than she needs a boyfriend.

 

Date other women because you want their company, not because you're using them to mark time til this messy chick gets her head on straight.

 

Edited to add: and you haven't met her in person yet, but you're creeping outside of her boyfriend's parent's home, spying on her?

 

Come on, dude...

Edited by kendahke
Lois_Griffin Established Member

Lois_Griffin

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Let me clarify, she is single. She says that he's not her boyfriend. The one and only reason she sticks around is for her daughter because she suffers without her. That's it.

Give me a break.

 

She sticks around because she can't (or choose NOT to) provide for herself and her kid that she was irresponsible enough to have at only 18 years old. This guy she's with is supporting her and putting a roof over her head and the PRICE for that is being controlled by him.

 

She sees you as her ticket out. She's an opportunist is all. Since she shows NO ambition to be self supporting, she'll always be looking for fools who'll buy her into trailer park drama and want to 'rescue' her.

 

You're just the latest one is all.

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