Fortysome Posted October 23, 2015 Posted October 23, 2015 Ok so I was dating a woman for one year. It ended in august. In a nutshell I was crazy about her. It felt she was more crazy about the money I spent on her (crazy money, whatever number you have in mind it is way bigger) than me. She was not affectionate and her sexual labido was low but when we had sex it was incredible and we got along otherwise very very well and had fun together. I fell in love with her and she ended it because she said we were different, I wanted someone lovey dovey who likes sex more than twice a month and she was not that person. OK so we had no contact for over a month then she contacts me with simple texts. I was thrilled that she was initiating contact so we exchange texts then she hits me up to buy her some shoes for 3k and I comply, then she hits me up for 10k for her business and I comply. Then we exchange more texts and we set a date and that date was nice. Then more texts and another date a week later. Then she asks me if she can have her credit card back for gas and food and I say yes but I ask her "are we heading back into a relationship to which she says " I don't know what I want, your past behavior scares me and if there are strings attached to what you give me then I don't want it ". So I give her the cc. Then she asks if she can buy some 1200 shoes with it and I say yes. We have our 3rd date this Saturday and I'm excited to see her but beginning to really feel resentful that she asks me for so much and after our last date I tried to kiss her and she turned and gave me her cheek. One of our problems was that early on she caught me lying a few times. I never cheated on her but I kept things from her that I knew would bother her so there was a trust issue and it was deserved. I was confused and recently separated from a long term marriage and many of the lies where about things dealing with my ex wife to be. Example was that my ex and I had been separated for a year and about a month prior to me meeting this woman I had sex with my wife, then I met this woman and a month later had sex with this woman and gave her ghonnorea. I had no idea that I had it as my wife was my only partner. Instead if telling her I got it from my wife I made up a lie that I cought it from some one night stand, the reason being I did not want her to lookbdownnonbthe mother if my children for a mistake any of us could make. There where a few lies like this early on. I know it was wrong but I liked this girl and she was so stingy with the affection that I was worried that telling her things would make her more stingy so I lied. She says that the reason she was not affectionate was that she was always gaurded because I was nitbyet divorced and she caught me in lies and because if that was never able to fully give me her love. This is fair I suppose. Now, I want to rebuild and start from scratch. I want to be honest and not lie and I would never hurt her, but I sometimes feel that she is taking me for a fool. She knows I love her. She knows I will do anything for her and she is not afraid to ask for the world but the fact that she takes my money and asks for gifts and is showing no real sexual interest in me is making me resentful. If she needs time to date me and get to know me again and trust me, I could wait a very very very long time for the sex. But the fact she hits me up for money and things makes me feel used. Also I don't know if it matters but she is 28 and I am 45. I am a good looking in shape 45 year old and have dated mainly younger woman and had great luck, but I did not fall in love with them. This one I am totally in love with. Advice ?
RecentChange Posted October 23, 2015 Posted October 23, 2015 Really? She is using you.... Sure doesn't sound like she loves you, but she sure does love your money, and has the balls to manipulate you for it. My question would be, how do you love someone who doesn't recipate with love? I really believe love HAS to be a two way street. You are enamoured with her, and she knows that you are under her thumb. Love is amoung equals. 1
SwordofFlame Posted October 23, 2015 Posted October 23, 2015 It sounds like you're trying to buy her love and it isn't working.
guest569 Posted October 23, 2015 Posted October 23, 2015 Stop throwing thousands and thousands of dollars at her.?? 1
jam.over.jelly Posted October 23, 2015 Posted October 23, 2015 Man, someone can downright use someone else for money without that person even realizing that they're being used? This girl's got skills!!!! OP, unless you don't mind blowing money on her, cut her loose.
Ruby Slippers Posted October 23, 2015 Posted October 23, 2015 Is this a joke? She obviously wants a sugar baby/sugar daddy type relationship, where you provide her with money and she provides you with occasional companionship and sex. If you want a non-transactional relationship based on love - and it sounds as though you do - I suggest you move on.
seekingluck Posted October 23, 2015 Posted October 23, 2015 Please watch this video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RieJkKmUTSk Wow, that just sounds too easy. Why are you dropping Gs on a random girl? She is not even remotely interested.
StBreton Posted October 23, 2015 Posted October 23, 2015 You're buying the goods (the 28 yr old) but you can't buy love. Is it enough for you to love someone but not get love in return? That's like a parental love where love goes down ...the unconditional kind where you don't need anything in return. She senses this. She's not into you as a man but as an ATM. She asks you for grocery and gas money??! Wow. She thinks you're too old for her. Even if you love her ... You could love someone who actually loves you back. So you and I are fairly close in age ...and all I'll say is socioeconomically advantaged as well. I divorced last year. I date a lot. Not in my wildest nightmares would I entertain a relationship like this. I don't get it. You're the poster child for why woman my age shake our heads and wonder what you see in these type of relationships. Lots of guys say ...ya I fell for that then got tired of the crazy business... I mean ...you're probably getting less sex than miserable married couples! YES she's using you ...Looks down shakes head 1
MidwestUSA Posted October 23, 2015 Posted October 23, 2015 I could really use a few new pairs of shoes. Just sayin'. 2
mortensorchid Posted October 23, 2015 Posted October 23, 2015 I would never ask someone for new shoes or to help me with my professional needs or whatever it is, I don't care if it costs $1 or $10,000. It's wrong. People borrow money from banks, not their SOs. You are being used. I was with a guy about ten years ago who dumped me after two years LDR. I was fortunate, he showed me his true colors a few months before. Barely a year later, he met and married some trash woman with two children (one from each previous marriage, neither Daddy was in the picture). He supported her, her kids, and paid for her daughter's education. Marriage lasted three years. According to a source of mine she started going down to a trailer he bought for her somewhere in North Carolina to "spend time with her daughter". The first year they were married she spent the summer down there. The second year and she was going to go down for the summer again, she said she was just going to move down there and come back for holidays and occasions. After the last check cleared for her daughter's tuition, she divorced him, married husband #4 and has since divorced husband #4. I think you have to ask yourself how and why it is that you are with this woman to begin with. Do you want to have someone in your life this badly that you are allowing yourself to be taken advantage of like this? Because that's what you are doing. I hope you someday find a better woman than this, because you can, even just a little bit better.
StBreton Posted October 23, 2015 Posted October 23, 2015 I'll take a trip to Paris ... and momma could always use a new pair of shoes Bats eyelashes 1
Guyouthere Posted October 23, 2015 Posted October 23, 2015 I'll take a trip to Paris ... and momma could always use a new pair of shoes Bats eyelashes No, No. You come here, and fish for 600 pound grouper. This guy can buy you the shark boots too (maybe they sell them at the same store) lol We can make videos of it all (on my Mac), and the return on the investment will be incredible. So much so, this girlfriend will have enough money to buy even more shoes. Now the plan will work….. and all 4 of us will be very happy, and have plenty of fish to eat after we buy our own island in the Bahamas. We will need mosquito repellant. hehehehe
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