MsHopeful0208201689 Posted October 22, 2015 Posted October 22, 2015 In my personal opinion meeting a man in a bar/nightclub usually goes no where because people are more likely just looking for a hook up or something meaningless... Agreed? I have a friend who is super "aggressive" with men.. She gets the attention but then she complains there is no good men (most of the guys wants hook ups/sex but maybe it could be the vibes she sends these guys) What are your thoughts and opinions?
d0nnivain Posted October 22, 2015 Posted October 22, 2015 I met my husband in a bar. My parents met in a bar & were married for almost 50 years before my mom died. I think it depends on the people involved. While it's more likely that somebody is just out for a good time, it's possible to meet somebody who wants more. 1
kismetkismet Posted October 22, 2015 Posted October 22, 2015 It depends on the people involved I guess. Some people are just there for a good time, and when people are very drunk they're not necessarily as good at picking someone who is legitimately compatible. That said, I met my last boyfriend at a bar on the dance floor dancing to Notorious BIG and I barely remember it.. Not very classy on either of our parts.. I took him home the first night as well though I didn't sleep with him until the following day. Then we dated for a solid 2 years and were very happy! Had a very healthy and adult relationship, though it didn't work out due to different life goals etc. It's good to keep your mind open, but not have terribly high expectations. Same with anything really.
Guyouthere Posted October 23, 2015 Posted October 23, 2015 It depends on the people involved I guess. Some people are just there for a good time, and when people are very drunk they're not necessarily as good at picking someone who is legitimately compatible. That said, I met my last boyfriend at a bar on the dance floor dancing to Notorious BIG and I barely remember it.. Not very classy on either of our parts.. I took him home the first night as well though I didn't sleep with him until the following day. Then we dated for a solid 2 years and were very happy! Had a very healthy and adult relationship, though it didn't work out due to different life goals etc. It's good to keep your mind open, but not have terribly high expectations. Same with anything really. I don't care for the bar atmosphere, even on a date. Nor would I expect to meet a prospective date at one, even f I did. I have been told not to look for quality there, but I know that on my own anyway. Not to say that all those who go to bars aren't quality… but its like treasure hunting,,,, go to places or look in places/be open in places where you have the best chance to find the goods
Zippy2000 Posted October 23, 2015 Posted October 23, 2015 It really depends on the people involved. I tend to go out to a pub or a club for a good time. Most men go out for hook up with. Just like online dating. You have to filter out the nutters, stalkers, sex pests of serial killers. This takes time and a lot of it. Pay particilar attention to what they say and alwasy meet on a date in a safe place never from your own home. People you meet in bars and clubs is in no way safer than going online. Its just in bars and clubs there are witnesses.
phineas Posted October 23, 2015 Posted October 23, 2015 No decent person seriously dates anyone who regularly goes to clubs and grinds on random people If they do try they are usually run through the ringer. Does that answer your question?
ZA Dater Posted October 23, 2015 Posted October 23, 2015 go to places or look in places/be open in places where you have the best chance to find the goods Exactly that, I feel if one is into that sort of lifestyle then yes maybe one can meet someone but going to a bar with the intention of finding someone isn't a great idea in my opinion.
Guyouthere Posted October 23, 2015 Posted October 23, 2015 Exactly that, I feel if one is into that sort of lifestyle then yes maybe one can meet someone but going to a bar with the intention of finding someone isn't a great idea in my opinion. The only "bar" that is good to go to is a "sand bar". Thats where a lot of people go and drop their gold jewelry. lol I find some nice pairs of sunglasses there as well.
kendahke Posted October 23, 2015 Posted October 23, 2015 Years ago, I had a friend say (in her sweetest Mississippi drawl) "girl, you only meet snakes in bars". At my age, it's pretty tragic to be in a bar finding someone to date, so no. I won't be meeting anyone there. 1
sportygirl89 Posted October 23, 2015 Posted October 23, 2015 In my personal opinion meeting a man in a bar/nightclub usually goes no where because people are more likely just looking for a hook up or something meaningless... Agreed? I have a friend who is super "aggressive" with men.. She gets the attention but then she complains there is no good men (most of the guys wants hook ups/sex but maybe it could be the vibes she sends these guys) What are your thoughts and opinions? I met my first love at a bar. When I mean first love, first serious relationship. He moved to my home town. We dated for 6 months. He dated three other girls after me and is now engaged. It took me a lot to recover after this one.
Michelle ma Belle Posted October 23, 2015 Posted October 23, 2015 Considering where I met my partner I'm in no position to judge how or where people meet and fall in love. 1
Guyouthere Posted October 23, 2015 Posted October 23, 2015 I'm thinking about hanging out at a morgue. Always have someone to talk to, even though they don't talk back (at least verbally). lol You can find very submissive women there… they can be pretty rigid, but I like a stiff woman. lol
WomenWubber Posted October 23, 2015 Posted October 23, 2015 It's not a terribly bad idea to met men at bars if you like spending time at bars and partying regularly.
Guyouthere Posted October 23, 2015 Posted October 23, 2015 It's not a terribly bad idea to met men at bars if you like spending time at bars and partying regularly. We'll to a better class guy, and one with a higher standard…. one looking for a meaningful long term and loving relationship….. The average type of woman found in such an atmosphere will never provide that. Thus no reason to waste time and energy in that direction I guess the older and wiser a guy gets, he realizes this fact. In plain English, I would absolutely NEVER be even remotely interested in any woman who would hang in a bar and party like that. 1
kilgore Posted October 23, 2015 Posted October 23, 2015 Considering where I met my partner I'm in no position to judge how or where people meet and fall in love. You have the ultimate meet cute story 1
Michelle ma Belle Posted October 23, 2015 Posted October 23, 2015 You have the ultimate meet cute story The stuff of (erotic) stories perhaps 1
kilgore Posted October 23, 2015 Posted October 23, 2015 The stuff of (erotic) stories perhaps It's like a raunchy when Harry met Sally 1
Versacehottie Posted October 23, 2015 Posted October 23, 2015 I think it's too easy to generalize when it comes to bars/nightclubs and the type of people one meets in them. If you've ever been to one and consider yourself dating material well then it's only logical at some point someone you'd be interested in dating will be at one too. If that's your exclusive way of finding people to date, well you might have a problem then. I don't agree that people who are at bars are all sleezy and snakes. However, if a guy/girl is completely obsessed with certain types of nightclubs it might let you know where his/her mindset is at the moment. If it's totally not your scene at all and the other person sometimes like it or likes it a lot, you probably wouldn't be a match--just means you have different interests, not that one is better than another. My experience is that the type of guys I am most attracted to, do things in moderation. Sure they go out to bars and nightclubs sometimes and they also have OTHER fun things they do. To me and my friends, those have always ended up being the most well-rounded and best catch guys. No all or nothing thinking. Ability to have fun and be open-minded as well. If you hang with a social and in the scene crowd, it's inevitable that you will spend time in "the scene" and in these places. The trick is not to make it your entire life or be too enamoured. I do agree that people CAUGHT UP in that scene usually don't make good dating material. I have spent a decent amount of time in bars/nightclubs without getting caught up. My friends that own clubs/bar or promote, usually had a business sense about them and were true to their real friends and make good boyfriends (well if you can deal with their work hours). Same as most things in life, people that are a shell of themselves without saying they are at the hottest nightclub and materialism behind their life won't make good partners, wherever you find them--and there certainly are more of those at nightclubs in that mindset. Ultimately it depends on which type of bars/nightclub and people involved. It's too broad a generalization. Idk, you just have to trust your own judgement. I always do and it works for me.
Bobbi7 Posted October 23, 2015 Posted October 23, 2015 I'be told people that at my age, I should go to a bar and meet guys-possibly because there are more singles that hang out there. I don't see what the problem is-they look at me like I'm committing a crime! Geez, there's nothing wrong with the bar scene. Yeah, there are some shady guys there, but there are bad guys everywhere! And they have the nerve to suggest places where I can meet them, like the library, church. I'm like wth? There are as much predators at the library, OLD, church, so to say meeting men at the bars is a sin, yeah, I don't think so.. 1
MissBee Posted October 23, 2015 Posted October 23, 2015 In my personal opinion meeting a man in a bar/nightclub usually goes no where because people are more likely just looking for a hook up or something meaningless... Agreed? I have a friend who is super "aggressive" with men.. She gets the attention but then she complains there is no good men (most of the guys wants hook ups/sex but maybe it could be the vibes she sends these guys) What are your thoughts and opinions? I tend to agree. A friend of mine who's been in a 5 year relationship did meet her bf at a club (but I think it might have also been a party at a night club for a young professionals organization). However, I think this it's less common than the norm that club meets materialize into more. It's not that decent people don't go to clubs but often times the environment and the whole circumstance doesn't always promote it graduating to something more. I've met men at clubs, none of them became anything serious.
Author MsHopeful0208201689 Posted October 23, 2015 Author Posted October 23, 2015 Considering where I met my partner I'm in no position to judge how or where people meet and fall in love. How did you meet your partner?
Ruby Slippers Posted October 23, 2015 Posted October 23, 2015 I've never met a good relationship prospect at a bar or club myself. But my parents met at a bar in the '70s, and they're still together many decades later.
La Trese Posted October 24, 2015 Posted October 24, 2015 In my personal opinion meeting a man in a bar/nightclub usually goes no where because people are more likely just looking for a hook up or something meaningless... Agreed? I have a friend who is super "aggressive" with men.. She gets the attention but then she complains there is no good men (most of the guys wants hook ups/sex but maybe it could be the vibes she sends these guys) What are your thoughts and opinions? I agree that a lot of guys are looking for a hookup in a bar--to the point where you gotta question their motives when they initially approach you, but if you don't hookup with them then sometimes they end up being open to dating you. My two of my ex boyfriends in undergrad (I dated both for one and a half year each) are both people I literally met at a frat party and so is my friend's boyfriend. With one of them he asked to dance (in college...thats a sign he wants to hook up)and I told him no I was having a girl's night, and then we started talking and then he asked me on a date and voila we dated for almost two years. The other one I randomly started talking to him and we just talked for a while and exchanged numbers. Make it clear you are not looking to hook up when they initially approach you (and look for signs of them wanting to hook up...ie are they wasted, are coming on too strong) and if they are still talking to you after that and respectfully then maybe they are open to more and go from there. 1
La Trese Posted October 24, 2015 Posted October 24, 2015 (edited) No decent person seriously dates anyone who regularly goes to clubs and grinds on random people If they do try they are usually run through the ringer. Does that answer your question? Just because they are at a club does not mean they are regulars. Most people I know that go to the club are not regulars and people who just go once in a while and those guys I know are the nicest people on earth and most balanced. I literally also have girl friends that are virgins that occasionally go to the club and dance with someone but never go home with anyone. Edited October 24, 2015 by La Trese 1
Karine26 Posted October 24, 2015 Posted October 24, 2015 Idk what age group of guys you are talking about but I would rather meet guys my age (30) in a bar than Online. At least there you can feel them out, watch their actions, see what their friends are like... Plus what are single guys supposed to do? Sit at home and hide behind a computer screen? I think that's the problem now a days. I don't think a guy is of low quality just because him and his buddies want to go and have a few drinks. My girlfriends and I do the same occasionally. There are lots of classier bars that attract a different type of crowd-those who don't mind paying a few more dollars to be in a nicer atmosphere. Or on Sundays at a Sports bar to watch games. I wouldn't necessarily think guys there were of low quality bc they want to watch some football with a few drinks. Also, I met a guy at a club. He was only there bc it was his brother's birthday but it wasn't his scene. In situations like that I think its ok. But I agree that if a guy can't wait to go out every Thursday, Friday and Saturday then he may have some growing up to do before he's ready to get serious. 4
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