alphamale Posted May 24, 2005 Posted May 24, 2005 Originally posted by blind_otter Why not just accept you as you are? And revel in your individuality? Isn't that more comfortable than wearing someone else's skin? sure B_0, there really is no definitive need to grow as a person or learn and experience new things. there also really is no need to change the status quo. everyone, like you said, should just revel in their own pool of averageness and same-ness. no need to live outside the box.
tokyo Posted May 24, 2005 Posted May 24, 2005 Originally posted by RecordProducer I agree. I also agree with Kooky. Whoohoo, my name in bold, that's even much better than seeing Alphamale write my name in caps.
Moose Posted May 24, 2005 Posted May 24, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale sure B_0, there really is no definitive need to grow as a person or learn and experience new things. there also really is no need to change the status quo. everyone, like you said, should just revel in their own pool of averageness and same-ness. no need to live outside the box. I could be wrong, but I don't think that's what she meant.
Treasa Posted May 24, 2005 Posted May 24, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale actually I graduated from one of the top ten private high schools in the U.S, went to Univ of Mich business school (also a top 20 school) and i have worked for 4 or 5 Fortune 500 companies, including IBM. That doesn't make you educated (you know, I went to a top ten private high school too, and I saw some of the people who graduated from there, and I also know people who fix copiers for IBM, so spin it all you want). Nor does it make you desirable. You know, for someone so successful and busy, you sure post here a lot. You'd think someone so amazing would have better things to do with his time. For the record, I agree with blind_otter on this one: I suspect that if you have to make an academic study of the sociological implications of being/becoming an alphamale, most likely you really aren't one
alphamale Posted May 24, 2005 Posted May 24, 2005 Originally posted by Moose I could be wrong, but I don't think that's what she meant. B_0 stated and I quote: "Why not just accept you as you are?" Personally i don't think anyone should accept themselves as they are. One should always be learning and growing and trying new things. Trying to become a better person with more knowledge and experience.
moimeme Posted May 24, 2005 Posted May 24, 2005 Personally i don't think anyone should accept themselves as they are. One should always be learning and growing and trying new things. Trying to become a better person with more knowledge and experience. Which is quite different from becoming someone else entirely.
Moose Posted May 24, 2005 Posted May 24, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale B_0 stated and I quote: "Why not just accept you as you are?" Personally i don't think anyone should accept themselves as they are. One should always be learning and growing and trying new things. Trying to become a better person with more knowledge and experience. Then I'm wrong when I said: I guess we have a winner for what an, "Alpha Male" is, and low and behold........he resides on LS.......and he shall remain......nameless.......Accepting yourself for who you are doesn't limit you to growth. As a matter of fact, I believe it releases you TO grow.
Moose Posted May 24, 2005 Posted May 24, 2005 You know, for someone so successful and busy, you sure post here a lot. You'd think someone so amazing would have better things to do with his time.That's a door that swings both ways. There are some of us that reached a point where we can run our business, yet do things we enjoy, (Posting on LS), throughout the day without interrupting our enterprise.
blind_otter Posted May 24, 2005 Posted May 24, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale B_0 stated and I quote: "Why not just accept you as you are?" Personally i don't think anyone should accept themselves as they are. One should always be learning and growing and trying new things. Trying to become a better person with more knowledge and experience. That's not the same thing as accepting yourself. There are certain personality traits that are very enduring. Like, a sensitive type dude will probably never be able to make himself be not sensitive, and if he keeps trying to ACT like he's a certain way, he'll just be a fake a-hole, rather than a sincere sensitive dude. Personal growth is an entirely different monster. Hey, I even took a whole goddamn class in university called "personal growth" and part of that is accepting yourself, rather than constantly trying to be something that you simply aren't. If CIOC isn't an alphamale, trying to be one will just make him unhappy with himself because he lacks certain innate traits. If he is, then more power to him. I am the last person you will find who rejects the idea of personal growth. It happens to be an important issue in my life because of personal experiences. So, maybe all 7 of the therapists I've seen were wrong. And all my university professors when I got my psych degree. I dunno. Take that up the UF Psychology department.
alphamale Posted May 24, 2005 Posted May 24, 2005 Originally posted by Moose That's a door that swings both ways. There are some of us that reached a point where we can run our business, yet do things we enjoy, (Posting on LS), throughout the day without interrupting our enterprise. agreed, 95% of my hi-tech job is done over the "puter", email, and the phone.
alphamale Posted May 24, 2005 Posted May 24, 2005 Originally posted by blind_otter If CIOC isn't an alphamale, trying to be one will just make him unhappy with himself because he lacks certain innate traits. If he is, then more power to him. well then either way CIOC will be unhappy won't he??? cause if he doesn't develop at least some of the alphamale traits women will keep on dissing him. and if he does develop some alphamale traits he'll still be unhappy but he may keep women around a bit longer? who knows. we're all unhappy to some extent about something in our lives. I don't buy into that whole "just be yourself" krap.
Moose Posted May 24, 2005 Posted May 24, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale well then either way CIOC will be unhappy won't he??? cause if he doesn't develop at least some of the alphamale traits women will keep on dissing him. and if he does develop some alphamale traits he'll still be unhappy but he may keep women around a bit longer? who knows. we're all unhappy to some extent about something in our lives. I don't buy into that whole "just be yourself" krap. His third option would be for him to just be himself. Some lucky lady will fall in love with him, for him. That's the ONLY way he'll be happy. CIOC needs to have more patience. I've told this joke before, but there were two bulls on top of a hill grazing. The younger bull looked down the hill and saw a group of cows. He looked at the older bull and said, "Let's run down there and poke one of those cows!". The older bull looked at the youngster and said, "How about we walk down there, and poke all of them?".
Opium Posted May 24, 2005 Posted May 24, 2005 Most people felt that Alpha Males are made, not born. Sure, some men have natural good looks, charisma and exude self-confidence, but other men, who wouldn't necessarily be confused with a "good looking guy" have the same type of self-confidence. Born...All men are born equal! It's the way they're raised in this crazy society that makes them different. Men who are raised by both parents tend to have the more well-rounded Alpha-Male traits. (Though, not all necessarly have to be raised by both parents but I've noticed the pattern) An Alpha-Male in my opinion really doesn't care or take the time to think if he "is" an Alpha-Male, he just knows he is. He's definetly not a whiney a$$ but at the same time shows he cares. Theirs nothing like a confident man, it's such a turn on but at the same time a guy who thinks he's better them me or any other person can just go f*** himself.
RoxStar Posted May 24, 2005 Posted May 24, 2005 I do think that an ALPHAMALE is a personality trait to a degree but then there are people in society that also try to become an ALPHAMALE and there is a difference in those two people. CIOC may not be unhappy if he develops ALPHAMALE traits. Maybe he has those traits already but doesnt realize it, maybe he has been in situations where those traits werent able to be expressed??? He might find happiness if he really explores himself to find out what he is really made of and who he is deep down. Finding out who you are as a person is the essence of confidence and self acceptance. When you dont know who you are or you feel like you are supposed to be something or someone else and you lose your self worth and you have more problems with self esteem. You can become afraid of letting people inside to know the real you because you are afraid they wont like the real you. When you come to accept yourself and not fear what people will think you take on more confidence and can start to transition into a more ALPHAMALE type of person.
blind_otter Posted May 24, 2005 Posted May 24, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale I don't buy into that whole "just be yourself" krap. Well what are you supposed to do? Spend your life trying to be something that you're not? It's just that I've tried that route. It don't really work well. When I was married my exhusband tried to make me into a Stafford wife. I couldn't hack it. Otter needs to be outside of the house for at least 8 hours a day. It wasn't "me" and I couldn't force myself into a mould.
moimeme Posted May 24, 2005 Posted May 24, 2005 because if he doesn't develop at least some of the alphamale traits women will keep on dissing him One woman decided they weren't a good pair. This is hardly evidence that 'women' don't like him as he is.
alphamale Posted May 24, 2005 Posted May 24, 2005 Originally posted by blind_otter Well what are you supposed to do? Spend your life trying to be something that you're not? you are supposed to try to improve yourself in areas that you think you fall short in. if that "area" is dealing with women then you should make some behavior modifications to improve your situation. maybe you will succeed maybe you won't but you must atleast try. Some people (not all) can modify their behaviour patterns thru education, observation and experience.
westernxer Posted May 24, 2005 Posted May 24, 2005 Originally posted by blind_otter When I was married my exhusband tried to make me into a Stafford wife. Did he make you apply for a Stepford Loan?
RoxStar Posted May 24, 2005 Posted May 24, 2005 Originally posted by westernxer Did he make you apply for a Stepford Loan?
Opium Posted May 24, 2005 Posted May 24, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale you are supposed to try to improve yourself in areas that you think you fall short in. if that "area" is dealing with women then you should make some behavior modifications to improve your situation. maybe you will succeed maybe you won't but you must atleast try. Some people (not all) can modify their behaviour patterns thru education, observation and experience. Some People, so true. Why is that the more f*cked up ones think they don't have to change??? Then the ones that just made a few bad moves think they have to change their whole life?? Who gets it!!
blind_otter Posted May 24, 2005 Posted May 24, 2005 Originally posted by RoxStar Ooops. Freudian slip. signed, filing for bankruptcy because of my exhusband's spending habits. (not bitter, not bitter, not bitter, not bitter...)
alphamale Posted May 24, 2005 Posted May 24, 2005 Originally posted by Opium Some People, so true. Why is that the more f*cked up ones think they don't have to change??? Then the ones that just made a few bad moves think they have to change their whole life?? it has much to do with education and intelligence levels in the particular individual. there is usually a world of difference in between someone who is educated and someone who is not.
blind_otter Posted May 24, 2005 Posted May 24, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale it has much to do with education and intelligence levels in the particular individual. there is usually a world of difference in between someone who is educated and someone who is not. I know highly educated people who could use a little therapy who refuse to because they think it's a load of bull****. Me, on the other hand, I've been roped into twice-weekly therapy yet again for flashbacks from rape trauma syndrome. Honestly, though, accepting yourself doesn't mean you are static. I accept the constantly fluctuating person that I am. I accept that I am constantly growing and changing. But accepting yourself means that you don't look at yourself and see something that is ugly or bad. You see something that is an ineffectual coping mechanism or strategy that you can change, yes. There is a whole array of psychological problems called "personality disorders" - borderline, antisocial, narcissistic....those "personality disorders" are usually deeply engrained and, according to my mentor at the mental facility I worked at, usually take a minimum of 10 years in-patient treatment to make a dent in them. There are certain traits we have that are deeply engrained into our psyche, traits that endure for a lifetime, in some cases. These are more based in the environment you grew up in. Essential qualities in your persona which make "you" who you are, and affect the decisions you make, the way you view yourself, and your worldview.
Opium Posted May 24, 2005 Posted May 24, 2005 These are more based in the environment you grew up in. Essential qualities in your persona which make "you" who you are, and affect the decisions you make, the way you view yourself, and your worldview. This is a good point you bring up. It's amazing though from the few things that I've read about you, how far you've come. It takes a lot out of a person to actually go through these things and to talk about it must be a relief. Cool!
SexKitten Posted May 24, 2005 Posted May 24, 2005 trying to be an alpha male will not work. either you ARE or you ARE NOT, and very much of it depends on other people's views and attraction to you. some of you described an alpha male as a kind of person who dominates and rules and orders people around. there are many men like this who are not alpha males. this is not an "alpha male", this is a "jerk". he will not be able to remain this way when people see right through it and get over his behaviour. an alpha male won't have to do that to people, the people will want to do things for him, be around him, and will feel accepted by him. alpha males are magnaninmous. it's all about being the "It guy" without trying.
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