alphamale Posted May 23, 2005 Posted May 23, 2005 Originally posted by lindya Sob away, CIOC! typical female advice. COC's mom would prob say the same thing. my advice is smile and be happy there are many other fish in the sea.
XNemesisX Posted May 23, 2005 Posted May 23, 2005 I can't stand cryers either. I have dated a few and they got dumped! Yuck. There have been a few guys I've dated where I have thought I might as well be dating a woman. But to you guys...do you really like for a girl to cry? Seems like men wouldn't want someone too emotional either....
moimeme Posted May 23, 2005 Posted May 23, 2005 Men are supposed to act like men. Women are to act like women. I think there's a huge problem with a generation of men who were raised without fathers. This is the 21st century, right? It's an antiquated concept that people still like to cling to that says men aren't human, don't feel pain, and ought not express pain when it's felt. A chaqu'un son goût, true, so let's not dictate to the entire planet, 'k? You want your neanderthal to bring you home the brontosaurus, go find one, but don't insist all men turn into cave dudes because there's a lot of us who aren't even slightly interested in that kind of creature.
Author ConfusedInOC Posted May 24, 2005 Author Posted May 24, 2005 Originally posted by lindya Sob away, CIOC! Lost love is one of the more worthy reasons to cry. I thought so!
Author ConfusedInOC Posted May 24, 2005 Author Posted May 24, 2005 Originally posted by XNemesisX I can't stand cryers either. I have dated a few and they got dumped! Yuck. There have been a few guys I've dated where I have thought I might as well be dating a woman. But to you guys...do you really like for a girl to cry? Seems like men wouldn't want someone too emotional either.... If a man truly loves a woman and she dumps him unexpectedly and it doesn't effect him much, then he didn't love her as much as he thought he did.
alphamale Posted May 24, 2005 Posted May 24, 2005 Originally posted by XNemesisX But to you guys...do you really like for a girl to cry? Seems like men wouldn't want someone too emotional either.... depends on what she is crying about. if she's crying at a sad girlie movie that is OK and even cute but when she is crying after she busted me lying to her then thats bad...
XNemesisX Posted May 24, 2005 Posted May 24, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale depends on what she is crying about. if she's crying at a sad girlie movie that is OK and even cute but when she is crying after she busted me lying to her then thats bad... What if she slaps you and yells at you instead? No crying. Is that an ok way to react? That's what I do LOL. My ex knew when I would catch him lying to me or god knows what else, that he was in for a slap and a "YOU BITCH!!!!!!!!!" (my favorite word to call guys is "bitch" it's so degrading to a male
Merin Posted May 24, 2005 Posted May 24, 2005 Alpha Males.. It's interesting all the ideas people have of what an Alpha Male is or isn't.. To Me when I think of a Man being the Alpha Male, I think of the Male that seems to be the strongest in his circle of Friends, Co-Workers, Social Groups.. The Guy all his buddies seem to gravitate towards for advice or approval. The one person I've met most recently (that I got to know) is My EXBF's Friend... He is a very strong personality, I saw all of the Guys in that circle of Friends always seem to bust thier butts in seeming "Cool" around him and wanting his opinion (approval) I also noticed that while My BF's other Friends didn't hit on me in a direct manner, He would.. told My EXBF on one occassion that he would be all over it if he had the opportunity.. and while this may or may not have pissed him off (My EX) He didn't say much to his Friend about it, just smiled and said "She's with me" I witnessed almost the same sort of behaviour when I went out with my GF's this past Friday night... there was a Guy there with about 4 of his buddies.. strong personality and it seemed like his friends were knocking themselves out to be "Cool" around this Guy, AND he wasn't shy about talking to me.. he was very direct and confident.. oddly enough I watched his Friends looking for approval from him on thier choices in Girls... So there ya go... just my opinion.
Marshbear Posted May 24, 2005 Posted May 24, 2005 Alpha Male Traits. How do you cope with one? Here are some suggestions. 1. Take a stand. You won't get to hold it, but if you don't, you'll become irrelevant. 2. Learn their language. This is helpful with anyone, learning how they speak, and essential with the alpha male. Listen to the alpha and parrot back, using his terminology. For instance, if you get an email saying, “You were wrong,” you can reply, “How do I do this right?” 3. Maintain your dignity and self-respect. It may well be under assault, and it’s up to you. The alpha male isn’t looking out for you, your feelings, or sentiments, or often even your opinion. If you show he’s “getting to you,” you’ll likely get more of it. (To them it's a show of "weakness".) Learn to manage your nonverbal communication - facial expressions, position of hands, posture, etc. 4. Come in equipped with Emotional Intelligence. You’re going to need it. They are results-driven, and this means they run rough-shod over people, whom they see as merely a means to their end. (You will be judged on how "useful" you are.) You will have to learn to protect yourself. Deal with the facts and don’t take it personally. If you look around, it was just “your turn,” that’s all. Don't give up your Personal Power and fall into "hopeless and helpless." 5. Right and wrong. (Shame and blame) There’s likely to be a lot of discussion about who was “right” and who was “wrong.” If you made a mistake, say so up front. (Often it's good to put as much in writing as you can about what you did, when, in case it comes up later and is subject to his "selective memory.") If you did something because of lack of knowledge say, “I didn’t know that at the time.” Don’t apologize. 6. Eliminate the ordinary "fluff". Be analytical, logical and direct. Since they are relatively insensitive, direct comments you might make to someone else, will bounce right off their tough hide. Their ends justify any “means,” including disregard for others. They don’t respond well to “I’m sorry,” or “How are you feeling today?” They just don’t like it, that’s why. 7. If you’re sensitive, you may need to find somewhere else to be. Period. To the average alpha male, you’re “a breathing body” and that’s about it. He may not even bother to learn your name as he barks orders. 8. Stay neutral and don't admit to a weakness. While it works with most people to say, “I’m learning this job and have a ways to go,” to an alpha male, this is like waving a red flag to a bull. Stick with details, “Yes, I see. It won’t happen again.” (Or say “Yes I hear you” or whatever your listening to his vocabulary has taught you.) 9. Avoid appearing (or being) submissive. If you do, you'll lose his respect. Don’t be intimidated by his anger. The basic reason is probably because it makes him feel good, so there’s not a thing you can do about it. More than any other type, don’t try to change him. It won’t work. (If you do try, get something like a 360 - evidence from everyone else is all he'll believe.) 10. Don't waste his time. Which is most of the normal niceties and social amenities COC. I thought you were the sensitive type of guy so the Alpha Male traits would not apply to you. If you are wanting to become an AM then I guess you just become domineering with people. It might work in the business world but in the romance world I don't think you can change who you are. Just accept who you are and learn to be the best you can be. You are talking about changing your personality which is very hard to do. Just learn to not accept disrespect from people and don't be afraid to give your opinion. Peace...
alphamale Posted May 24, 2005 Posted May 24, 2005 Originally posted by Marshbear Alpha Male Traits. Peace... very good post MARSHBEAR but much of it will go over most people's heads. very few people understand this stuff.
Treasa Posted May 24, 2005 Posted May 24, 2005 For me it depends on why a man is crying. If he's crying because he's just lost his child or something like that, then it's not pathetic at all.
alphamale Posted May 24, 2005 Posted May 24, 2005 Originally posted by Treasa For me it depends on why a man is crying. If he's crying because he's just lost his child or something like that, then it's not pathetic at all. well no shyt TREASA! what are u like 22 yrs old? the problem comes when a dude cries because his GF won't give him sex or he cries at some girly movie's sad ending.
Treasa Posted May 24, 2005 Posted May 24, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale what are u like 22 yrs old? No are u like uneducated? Alpha, don't even go there. You were perfectly nice to me (more or less) when I was SadAndLonely, so don't try that crap now. Nothing I said was stupid.
alphamale Posted May 24, 2005 Posted May 24, 2005 Originally posted by Treasa No are u like uneducated? Alpha actually I graduated from one of the top ten private high schools in the U.S, went to Univ of Mich business school (also a top 20 school) and i have worked for 4 or 5 Fortune 500 companies, including IBM.
Moose Posted May 24, 2005 Posted May 24, 2005 I guess we have a winner for what an, "Alpha Male" is, and low and behold........he resides on LS.......and he shall remain......nameless.......
alphamale Posted May 24, 2005 Posted May 24, 2005 Originally posted by Moose I guess we have a winner for what an, "Alpha Male" is, and low and behold........he resides on LS.......and he shall remain......nameless....... hey, at least the Pistons won!
Author ConfusedInOC Posted May 24, 2005 Author Posted May 24, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale well no shyt TREASA! what are u like 22 yrs old? the problem comes when a dude cries because his GF won't give him sex or he cries at some girly movie's sad ending. But you don't think crying at the end of a relationship for a man who's totally in love is acceptable?
am Posted May 24, 2005 Posted May 24, 2005 Alphamales are amused by this thread. COINC look dude, you're doubting yourself because you decided she was the one. She did it to you and you're wondering how you did it to yourself... simple. Lost your self confidence and ability to think. Women and men relationships are easy in the beginning. Be yourself. Live your life the way you want too that will make you happy. Women will be attracted to you then. You don't need to 'change' yourself to be with a woman. If you do move on. Being in a relationship both people need to make adjustments, but not lose themselves. Don't confuse losing yourself in your love. Love aint that. It makes you more of who you are, never less.
tokyo Posted May 24, 2005 Posted May 24, 2005 Marshbears list of alpha male traits, while some of them make sense, is basically description on how to act like a caveman, a wannabealpha, but not like a true alpha male. Some people have charisma and a natural authority that makes people want to follow them willingly. This is what leadership is about, the wish and the desire to lead and to take responsibility not about manipulating and using people. What Marshbear described was a superegoist and not a leader. If you have a leader who only thinks of himself and his glory, your pack of wolves won't survive. There have been quite a lot of examples of failed alpha males in business life. Managers who failed to lead their entrusted enterprises because they were busy making money for themselves.
melina Posted May 24, 2005 Posted May 24, 2005 I'm currently desperately trying to be the ALPHA around my puppy dog and teach her some submission :-) I guess transferred to any behaviour towards women: - don't let them eat first - don't let them walk through a door first - don't let them bark at you - don't let them jump up on you - don't let them sit on you and most of all; always make sure they come running when you call them.
RecordProducer Posted May 24, 2005 Posted May 24, 2005 Originally posted by lindya 1. Genuinely seem to like women 2. Have a laid-back approach to life 3. Are confident, with lots of energy 4. Seem at ease with their bodies 5. Haven't any awkwardness about making some degree of physical contact with women they're talking to, and do it in a natural - not sleazy -way. I agree. I also agree with Kooky. You better find a woman with whom you will not feel threatened and scared. She has to be the mother type in order to appreciate you. But the problem is you want an "Alpha" woman! You want the kind of woman that everyone desires so you want to become an alpha male. Maybe you expect too much. Looks has nothing to do with the alphaness. The alpha male is by definition successful, but even if he experiences bankruptcy, he will still be alpha male. And vice versa, financial and professional success don't make you an alpha male. Listen to yourself, you say "vice presidents came to seek advise from me"; and that makes you an alpha male how? Even at work it means nothing. If you told me you were the CEO of General Motors I would assume you were an alpha male. But work is work, let's talk about girls. You're not an alpha male overall. You posted about the girls in your gym, how to approach them, etc. Alpha male would have already approached them. He would have slept them before you noticed they exist. Alpha males don't ask for advice how to approach them and where, they have a lot of experience in that and do it naturally just like you eat or breathe. I bet you tell your mom everything that is going on in your life and discuss it in details. An alpha male is not pathologically connected with his mother. So it's something that starts before you were born as well as in your early childhood. Accept yourself for who you are, not who you want to be and your life will be easier. You want to be a copy of an alpha male. You better be a good original than a lousy copy.
moimeme Posted May 24, 2005 Posted May 24, 2005 Love aint that. It makes you more of who you are, never less. Amen, brothah!
blind_otter Posted May 24, 2005 Posted May 24, 2005 I dunno... I thought about this and I suspect that if you have to make an academic study of the sociological implications of being/becoming an alphamale, most likely you really aren't one. And more than that, there are women who are attracted to sensitive dudes. I happen to not be one of them because I grew up with a very old fashioned father and mother who had clearly identified gender roles, and I was raised up to be hyper-feminine in relationships. But there are a lot of women who were raised in more progressive households who are more gender-neutral when it comes to their interactions with men, which is a good thing for sensitive dudes. Why not just accept you as you are? And revel in your individuality? Isn't that more comfortable than wearing someone else's skin?
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