Author ConfusedInOC Posted May 23, 2005 Author Posted May 23, 2005 Originally posted by scratch I think you know how you SHOULD act. The trick is disciplining yourself to actually act that way, and get comfortable acting that way. Perhaps I am merely projecting my own position onto yours, but I don't think that anybody has said anything here of which you weren't intellectually aware. It follows that experience is certainly the key. People practice physical skills, and public speaking. There's no reason that you can't practice dealing with women and similarly improve. Confidence, for better or worse, is cyclical - the more you have, the better the results, which builds more confidence. Just try to set it in motion. What's the proper platform for this? I mean, I don't like clubs and don't drink. Where would I go to start putting these practices into use? I have the words: CALM, CONFIDENT, SELF-ASSURED, MASCULINE posted on my PC. I see it all day and it reminds me to think it, feel it and act it.
moimeme Posted May 23, 2005 Posted May 23, 2005 I am trying to figure out how to act around women. Act as though they're people.
Moose Posted May 23, 2005 Posted May 23, 2005 I have the words: CALM, CONFIDENT, SELF-ASSURED, MASCULINE posted on my PC. I see it all day and it reminds me to think it, feel it and act it.Where you any of these things before? You must not of caught what I said earlier, don't try to be something you're not. I know that you're most likely one or two, or most of these things. But women pick up on fake impressions, it's as plain as the nose on your face to them. If you act like silly putty in front of beautiful women, act like silly putty. What's so wrong about that? Trust me when I say that you don't want the typical woman for you. You want the woman who loves and enjoys you for you.
lindya Posted May 23, 2005 Posted May 23, 2005 Originally posted by ConfusedInOC Why indifference? Is that the catalyst that sparks interest? And what if you ARE interested in them, should you still act indifferent? Only the woman concerned is into necrophilia.
westernxer Posted May 23, 2005 Posted May 23, 2005 Originally posted by ConfusedInOC And what if you ARE interested in them, should you still act indifferent? Nope. Let them see you for who you are.
scratch Posted May 23, 2005 Posted May 23, 2005 Originally posted by ConfusedInOC What's the proper platform for this? I mean, I don't like clubs and don't drink. Where would I go to start putting these practices into use? I have the words: CALM, CONFIDENT, SELF-ASSURED, MASCULINE posted on my PC. I see it all day and it reminds me to think it, feel it and act it. By inquiring as to the proper platform, are you asking where you can go to practice acting confidently with women? You seem to be implying that it only "counts" when you encounter them in traditional pickup situations, which is dead wrong. Practice wherever you meet women. The gym, the street, resturants, the office. Actually, the office is great because you're not in a position to hit on them anyway. A theme here has been to treat them all the same. Start the same conversation with the 25 year old trainer at the gym as with the 60 year old secretary at work.
alphamale Posted May 23, 2005 Posted May 23, 2005 Originally posted by ConfusedInOC What's the proper platform for this? I mean, I don't like clubs and don't drink. Where would I go to start putting these practices into use? maybe u should start hitting the bars/clubs and having a few drinks. most women i know think that men who don't go to the bar at least once in a while and who don't drink at all are uptight and way too conservative/boring.
scratch Posted May 23, 2005 Posted May 23, 2005 Originally posted by Moose If you act like silly putty in front of beautiful women, act like silly putty. What's so wrong about that? I don't agree with this. I think that it's a good goal to practice becoming comfortable around women until you don't act like silly putty around beautiful women. How does this contrast with your earlier advice about treating everyone the same (which I felt was spot on)?
blind_otter Posted May 23, 2005 Posted May 23, 2005 What about just being yourself with whoever until you find someone who accepts you completely, including your faults, insecurities, and idiosynchraises? I dunno. I'm just saying. But I really can't stand "cry guys" (my friends and I call them this, I've dated a few - and dumped them). They cry about everything and they want you to hooooolllld them when they are sad. Men are supposed to act like men. Women are to act like women. I think there's a huge problem with a generation of men who were raised without fathers.
alphamale Posted May 23, 2005 Posted May 23, 2005 Originally posted by blind_otter But I really can't stand "cry guys" (my friends and I call them this, I've dated a few - and dumped them). right B_0!! women are supposed to be emotional and men should be stoic. this is what women want. an emotionally strong dude who they can look at and say "i wish I could be like HIM" They cry about everything and they want you to hooooolllld them when they are sad. boo hoo hoo! woman may say they want sensitive guys who cry but in reality they shun these dudes as pussies unworthy of anything. boo hoo hoo!!! Men are supposed to act like men. Women are to act like women. word! I think there's a huge problem with a generation of men who were raised without fathers. yes, since their main role model was a mother they act like a woman and have bought into all the krap their mom told them (which is not their mom's fault on purpose of course)
Moose Posted May 23, 2005 Posted May 23, 2005 How does this contrast with your earlier advice about treating everyone the same (which I felt was spot on)?The earlier advice wasn't advice at all. It was a response to a question based on what my thoughts where about an alpha male. While I agree that being comfortable around beautiful women, I'm also all about being real with them. I also think that some women find it cute when men fall over them.......
Illusion24 Posted May 23, 2005 Posted May 23, 2005 boo hoo hoo! woman may say they want sensitive guys who cry but in reality they shun these dudes as pussies unworthy of anything. boo hoo hoo!!! Sensitive, Yes...Emotional, Hell No!!!
westernxer Posted May 23, 2005 Posted May 23, 2005 Originally posted by blind_otter But I really can't stand "cry guys" (my friends and I call them this, I've dated a few - and dumped them). They cry about everything and they want you to hooooolllld them when they are sad. Men are supposed to act like men. Women are to act like women. I'm about to puke (at least I'm not crying). I think there's a huge problem with a generation of men who were raised without fathers. Definitely a problem.
alphamale Posted May 23, 2005 Posted May 23, 2005 where is that dumb crying smiley that we requested? i would have just used it
Treasa Posted May 23, 2005 Posted May 23, 2005 Originally posted by ConfusedInOC I was intrigued to do some searching on the internet about "Alpha Males" and if there really is a definitive aura about a man that makes him an "alpha male." Hey, now wait a minute! Not only are their alphamales, but alphafemales. And us chicks, especially alphafemales, don't nee protection. For the record, I don't think bike riding and sports make one an alphaanything. I think they ARE born, not made, at least for the large part. If you have to try to be an alpha, you aren't one. You can become confident and well-liked, but that isn't the same thing. I spent a large part of my life trying NOT to be so strong-willed, dominant, confident, whatever, because many men couldn't handle it. But that meant not being myself. I've always been aggressive, gone after what I wanted, spoke my mind, been willing to get into fights if necessary, and extremely protective of people, male or female. Once I learned that I didn't have to change, I embraced it. It can carry you a long way, but if you're a female, it can also stigmatize you.
lindya Posted May 23, 2005 Posted May 23, 2005 Originally posted by Treasa Hey, now wait a minute! Not only are their alphamales, but alphafemales. Yes, but the alpha-male is a rarer and therefore more valuable creature.
Author ConfusedInOC Posted May 23, 2005 Author Posted May 23, 2005 Originally posted by Treasa I spent a large part of my life trying NOT to be so strong-willed, dominant, confident, whatever, because many men couldn't handle it. But that meant not being myself. I've always been aggressive, gone after what I wanted, spoke my mind, been willing to get into fights if necessary, and extremely protective of people, male or female. Ditto. I've always been aggressive and gone after what I wanted, spoke what was on my mind, been willing to fight for whatever I've believed in....except when it comes to being in LOVE. That's the key. When I fall in love, I turn in a mushy, soft guy.
blind_otter Posted May 23, 2005 Posted May 23, 2005 Originally posted by ConfusedInOC Ditto. I've always been aggressive and gone after what I wanted, spoke what was on my mind, been willing to fight for whatever I've believed in....except when it comes to being in LOVE. That's the key. When I fall in love, I turn in a mushy, soft guy. Please don't tell me you're a cry guy....one of those guys who thinks it's ok to cry in front of a woman? I've seen my Dad who I adore, cry exactly 3 times in my life. When his mother died, when his sister died, and when his brother died. All of which are understandeable and excuseable. Not like "pleeeeeze don't leave meee!" that is gross. I've had a guy do that in a break-up before and it just made me feel slightly nauseous.
alphamale Posted May 23, 2005 Posted May 23, 2005 Originally posted by blind_otter Not like "pleeeeeze don't leave meee!" that is gross. I've had a guy do that in a break-up before and it just made me feel slightly nauseous. yeah, most women despise emotionally weak males.
BrotherAaron Posted May 23, 2005 Posted May 23, 2005 If you want to know how to treat attractive women, first learn how to treat average women, even unattractive women, old women, boring women, etc. Good looking gals are just as likely to have unnattractive personalities as anyone else. You need to stop thinking about them like they are some sort of royalty and then see them for the (often unexceptional) people that they are. That's what Moose had right - treat everyone like an equal. Be friendly, give respect, but never give somebody else authority over you - especially not some woman you've never met. Other than that, act however you want. If you want to be funny, be funny, if you want to be serious, do that. Just stop worrying so much about how you look and relax. You don't have to show off for people, they'll like you how you are or you're wasting your time with them anyway.
Author ConfusedInOC Posted May 23, 2005 Author Posted May 23, 2005 Originally posted by blind_otter Please don't tell me you're a cry guy....one of those guys who thinks it's ok to cry in front of a woman? I've seen my Dad who I adore, cry exactly 3 times in my life. When his mother died, when his sister died, and when his brother died. All of which are understandeable and excuseable. Not like "pleeeeeze don't leave meee!" that is gross. I've had a guy do that in a break-up before and it just made me feel slightly nauseous. I cried when we broke, briefly. But it was never a "please come back to me" situation. I have too much respect for myself to beg. You have to understand, I loved this woman with all my heart and wanted to marry her. I took it hard.
alphamale Posted May 23, 2005 Posted May 23, 2005 Originally posted by BrotherAaron You need to stop thinking about them like they are some sort of royalty and then see them for the (often unexceptional) people that they are. correct BROTHER AARON. women, especially attractive women, are so used to men fawning all over them and doing whatever they want that when a dude who comes along who just treats them normally he starts to pique their interest. most attractive women are prima donnas and know how to manipulate 95% of men quite easily. it is the 5% they cannot manipulate that they end up sleeping with.
westernxer Posted May 23, 2005 Posted May 23, 2005 When I see a hot chick I just ignore her... unless she smiles at me first. Sometimes it happens, sometimes it doesn't. Sometimes...
lindya Posted May 23, 2005 Posted May 23, 2005 Originally posted by blind_otter Not like "pleeeeeze don't leave meee!" that is gross. I've had a guy do that in a break-up before and it just made me feel slightly nauseous. Can't say I've ever had that, but I used to work in criminal law and it certainly immunised me to the sight of grown men crying. Sob away, CIOC! Lost love is one of the more worthy reasons to cry.
Recommended Posts