Moose Posted May 23, 2005 Posted May 23, 2005 Originally posted by moimeme Actually, Moose is an alpha male. Constant preoccupation with oneself is the antithesis of alpha malehood. Now I'm wondering if this is a good thing or a bad thing.......which is it Moi?
moimeme Posted May 23, 2005 Posted May 23, 2005 Just saying the Moose posts aren't about navel-gazing and 'am I male enough'. You've decided you're ok and you get on with your life. You've got the confidence people are talking about. At least, you write that way. There's other fellows like that on LS - in fact, quite a few.
SexKitten Posted May 23, 2005 Posted May 23, 2005 Originally posted by moimeme Actually, Moose is an alpha male. Constant preoccupation with oneself is the antithesis of alpha malehood. but he would need that quiet confidence to be a genuine one, remember?
westernxer Posted May 23, 2005 Posted May 23, 2005 Originally posted by SexKitten but i think in your post, the last part means that that man isn't really an alpha...he's a wannabe machismo type that most people can see right through. Machismo... now you've got me thinking about the time I spent in South America. Memories.
alphamale Posted May 23, 2005 Posted May 23, 2005 these are my ideas of a real alpha male: - quiet confidence - emotionally strong - knows when to be bad and when to be good - treats everyone the same - always keeps his self-respect, or atleast tries to - humble - knows when to say sorry and say he is wrong - intelligent and educated - calm, cool, collected - a pillar of strength - trusts himself and his abilities - know about human nature I would put John Wayne's on-screen persona as an example of an alpha male.
XNemesisX Posted May 23, 2005 Posted May 23, 2005 Originally posted my moimeme Just saying the Moose posts aren't about navel-gazing and 'am I male enough'. You've decided you're ok and you get on with your life. You've got the confidence people are talking about. At least, you write that way. There's other fellows like that on LS - in fact, quite a few. Yeah I agree with that. I don't see Moose writing about why people should like him, or how to be more of a man, etc etc etc. There are only a few guys on here that I think are alphamales. I think alphamale is an alpha male Westernxer seems like one, UCFKevin maybe. These are a few that come to the top of my head first. Some obvious beta males: Joel, Wherespiritsroam (Iceisles)...well you all probably know who they are. Originally posted by Scratch The black muscle shirt is actually a great metaphor - it sends the message that you are desperate for attention, and that you lack subtlety when attempting to garner it. You are indeed fit, which is great, but you come across as the equivalent of a rich jackass in a red Corvette. Yeah I see this point. An alphamale would not need to flaunt or try too hard or point to what he thinks are his good qualities (be it physical or otherwise). IMO the most attractive people are the people who don't have to point it out and/or maybe aren't even aware of it. Defensiveness is always weak and beta-esque. Yep. Think of alphamale or westernxer for example. Do you think they would get really defensive on here over something? Naw...they just take it in stride. Being able to take criticism well is a sign of confidence.
Author ConfusedInOC Posted May 23, 2005 Author Posted May 23, 2005 Originally posted by scratch The following is harsh, but intended to be constructive: It was well stated above that Alphas are made, not born. Moreover, confidence is worn best in muted colors. The black muscle shirt is actually a great metaphor - it sends the message that you are desperate for attention, and that you lack subtlety when attempting to garner it. You are indeed fit, which is great, but you come across as the equivalent of a rich jackass in a red Corvette. I understand the analogy. If a woman came up to you and told you her measurements, wouldn't you find her insecure? How about if she just told you how much she liked working out, and you got a sense of her body on your own? Wouldn't that be far more attractive? Yes. Second, although you're not nearly the only one who does this here, why the need to get defensive and say "you don't know me" or "don't judge me?" You know we don't know you, we know we don't know you, this isn't a question. Defensiveness is always weak and beta-esque. Just accept the feedback you don't like, and offer additional facts or reasons why you think it may be off base. But, a blanket denial with one of the above statements doesn't get anybody anywhere. Sometimes the best way to show confidence is to be accepting that you have flaws and insecurities. I do. What I am working on is how to emphasize my strengths and minimize my weaknesses. I will add, I did not nor do I want the focus of this thread to be on ME. I really would like to hear opinions on what defines the Alpha Male. Thanks!
XNemesisX Posted May 23, 2005 Posted May 23, 2005 Originally posted by ConfusedInOC I will add, I did not nor do I want the focus of this thread to be on ME. I really would like to hear opinions on what defines the Alpha Male. Thanks! What does it matter really? Unless you are trying to be one?! The only thing I can say that I believe defines an alpha male is this: CONFIDENCE charisma doesn't come across as sleazy or creepy when around women doesn't whine and bellyache Doesn't show too much weakness around a woman. Acts like he doesn't care in certain situations. A good actor, knows how to act in any given situation.
Author ConfusedInOC Posted May 23, 2005 Author Posted May 23, 2005 Originally posted by XNemesisX What does it matter really? Unless you are trying to be one?! Comprehension is 1/2 the battle. All I want to know is what everyone thinks an alpha male is. The only thing I can say that I believe defines an alpha male is this: CONFIDENCE charisma doesn't come across as sleazy or creepy when around women doesn't whine and bellyache Doesn't show too much weakness around a woman. Acts like he doesn't care in certain situations. A good actor, knows how to act in any given situation. That's a good list.
Moose Posted May 23, 2005 Posted May 23, 2005 All I want to know is what everyone thinks an alpha male is.One who realizes that everyone has their strengths, and weaknesses. He keeps this in mind 24/7 and doesn't let differences in the two, (strengths/weaknesses) influence his decision making.
scratch Posted May 23, 2005 Posted May 23, 2005 Originally posted by Moose He keeps this in mind 24/7 and doesn't let differences in the two, (strengths/weaknesses) influence his decision making. Decision making in what context? It doesn't make any sense not to take everyone's strengths and weaknesses into account when making any decision.
lindya Posted May 23, 2005 Posted May 23, 2005 Originally posted by ConfusedInOC Can you expound on what you mean by "Seems at ease with their bodies..?" Are you saying it's the way they sit or the way they use them in conversation? Well, think of when you have to meet a new client, and that person is particularly nervous about something. Think of all the tense signals they give off. Then as the meeting goes on, and they develop an interest in the discussion you're having with them they start relaxing a bit because they've stopped focusing on their own physical sensations (ie "am I blushing" "my hands are shaking" etc.). Obviously the more relaxed they are, the easier they are to communicate with. Same goes for any type of interpersonal communication. Obviously some people are just naturally more prone to physiological reactions -like blushing - even at times they don't feel' particularly uncomfortable. If in other respects they are acting normally and naturally (eg smiling, maintaining eye contact using "open" gestures rather than defensive ones), the blushing can add to their their personal charm rather than be something that's painful to watch.
Moose Posted May 23, 2005 Posted May 23, 2005 Originally posted by scratch Decision making in what context? It doesn't make any sense not to take everyone's strengths and weaknesses into account when making any decision. Lindya explained where I'm coming from quite well.
tanbark813 Posted May 23, 2005 Posted May 23, 2005 Originally posted by ConfusedInOC And yes, the black muscle shirt is necessary. I've worked hard to get this body, I feel it's time to show it off a bit. Just be sure to show it off with flattering shirts and avoid those that display your nipples. You want to attract women, not men. Shop around in the Kenneth Cole section and you'll be good to go. I think the ultimate alpha male is Al Pacino playing John Milton/Satan in Devil's Advocate.
moimeme Posted May 23, 2005 Posted May 23, 2005 The ultimate alpha male? Robert Wagner in his old shows. John Wayne was far too one-dimensional; almost never had any fun except to drink. That's the 1950s style guy.
lindya Posted May 23, 2005 Posted May 23, 2005 Originally posted by Moose Lindya explained where I'm coming from quite well. Bloody hell - does that mean I'M an alpha male?
blind_otter Posted May 23, 2005 Posted May 23, 2005 Are there alpha females and do they share the same traits? I tend to be hyper-feminine in relationships...
morrigan Posted May 23, 2005 Posted May 23, 2005 IMO there are alpha males and alpha females. I think Catherine the Great and Catherine Sforza were good examples of alpha chicks.
scratch Posted May 23, 2005 Posted May 23, 2005 Originally posted by Moose Lindya explained where I'm coming from quite well. I don't see the link between her post and yours even remotely. How do you infer her reference to strengths, weaknesses and decision making?
Moose Posted May 23, 2005 Posted May 23, 2005 I don't see the link between her post and yours even remotely. How do you infer her reference to strengths, weaknesses and decision making?It's all about how you carry yourself. I deal with corporate big wigs on a daily basis. My brother, (who's also the President), hates to deal with people in these positions. He feels intimidated by them. I couldn't give a care. Sure, I want the contracts just as bad as my brother does, but I don't let their position rattle me. They do demand respect and most of them do deserve it. But I treat them as if they were my equal, because in every sense of the word, they are. This applies to everyone I deal with, professionally and personally. I know what it is that I have to offer them. It's up to them whether or not they want to accept it. If they do, great! If not, it's no skin off my back. And I always remember that the door swings both ways. I treat the begger the exact way I'd treat the rich man.
Author ConfusedInOC Posted May 23, 2005 Author Posted May 23, 2005 Originally posted by Moose It's all about how you carry yourself. I deal with corporate big wigs on a daily basis. My brother, (who's also the President), hates to deal with people in these positions. He feels intimidated by them. I couldn't give a care. Sure, I want the contracts just as bad as my brother does, but I don't let their position rattle me. They do demand respect and most of them do deserve it. But I treat them as if they were my equal, because in every sense of the word, they are. This applies to everyone I deal with, professionally and personally. I know what it is that I have to offer them. It's up to them whether or not they want to accept it. If they do, great! If not, it's no skin off my back. And I always remember that the door swings both ways. I treat the begger the exact way I'd treat the rich man. Exactly. I have no problem talking to VPs and Corporate Big Wigs. But put me in front of a beautiful woman and I turn to silly putty. I am trying to figure out how to act around women. I guess I just need some more experience.
scratch Posted May 23, 2005 Posted May 23, 2005 Originally posted by ConfusedInOC I am trying to figure out how to act around women. I guess I just need some more experience. I think you know how you SHOULD act. The trick is disciplining yourself to actually act that way, and get comfortable acting that way. Perhaps I am merely projecting my own position onto yours, but I don't think that anybody has said anything here of which you weren't intellectually aware. It follows that experience is certainly the key. People practice physical skills, and public speaking. There's no reason that you can't practice dealing with women and similarly improve. Confidence, for better or worse, is cyclical - the more you have, the better the results, which builds more confidence. Just try to set it in motion.
alphamale Posted May 23, 2005 Posted May 23, 2005 Originally posted by ConfusedInOC I am trying to figure out how to act around women. indifference + treat them like anyone else.
Author ConfusedInOC Posted May 23, 2005 Author Posted May 23, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale indifference + treat them like anyone else. Why indifference? Is that the catalyst that sparks interest? And what if you ARE interested in them, should you still act indifferent?
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