Shock148 Posted October 22, 2015 Posted October 22, 2015 (edited) I saw my ex last weekend. We reconnected as friends after she broke up with me 5 years ago. A little back story after we reconnected I had not seen her in so long and I was at a bar hanging out close to where she lived so I invited her out to hang out. She said that she did not have money so she could not, but I told her I haven't seen her in 5 years, I will pay for a couple of beers for you so that we can hang out and catch up. For the record, I was completely over her and had relationships in between those 5 years so I really did not mind or care to hang out with her just as friends. We both established that there are no romantic feelings or anything of the sorts. Anyway we set up to hang out last friday (which will be the second time I hang out with her since we reconnected) and everything went well until about 2 hours before we met up with me she states "I paid some bills so you are going to have to pay for me tonight" I responded with "what? ummmmm wth?" but I was really bored to be honest and wanted someone to hang out with so I told her "Fine, but on my birthday you better buy me like 5 drinks" to which she responded "I will." I should have just said we can hang out when you have money to do so, but whatever what's done is done. We went out to a bar and had a great time. We both were drinking and got tipsy so she started talking about the good times in our relationship. I really did not want to talk about it but she kept insisting that it was a great time why not reminisce? So I said you are right and we started talking about it. She ended up crying and apologizing saying that I was the best boyfriend she ever had and that I treated her so well and she ****ed up. I consoled her and told her it sucked but it happened and all I can say now is I forgive you but I was too good for you and I just wished I had left you earlier instead of trying to make it work, but again it is what it is. We then started to talk about my birthday which is on Halloween so in about 9 days from now and she said "I wanted to keep this a surprise, but I got you some edible weed cookies as a gift." Mind you im not a big weed smoker, but I do like to vape it every now and then so the fact that she got me weed cookies as a gift was a big deal to me because I wanted to get some brownies or cookies of the sort for myself and could not find anyone good enough to do it. This surprised me because I did not expect anyone to get me any kind of present for my birthday especially her who throughout the relationship that we had never bought me anything as a gift. Not that I wanted her to because I am basically used to not getting anything from anyone, but it does feel nice when I do. Anyway, we began to flirt as the night went on and the drinks kept coming and then we ended up making out. After that, we said good night, we kissed, and was suppose to hang out the next day. She cancelled on me and ever since last friday I haven't heard from her at all except for once in 6 days which was yesterday where she says she has been busy. Mind you it doesnt take much effort to say "Im doing well" if I text you "Whats up, how are you?" Now I feel like a joke paying for this woman as I feel like she used me for a free dinner and drinks, paid me back by making out with me, and moving on. I feel like NC her, but I do not want to be in a relationship with her. I just feel like I got played because she had no money or at least did not want to spend money and used me as an ATM for a good night. What do you guys think? I dont want to NC her and then she really did buy me those weed cookies or kind of "repay" me for the night by buying me birthday drinks, but at the same time I have like 1% hope she actually meant what she said and in reality she never got anything and has no intention of paying me back by offering to buy me drinks ever. I don't even think she will hang out with me on my birthday either. What do you guys think? Edited October 22, 2015 by Shock148
frigginlost Posted October 22, 2015 Posted October 22, 2015 I saw my ex last weekend. We reconnected as friends after she broke up with me 5 years ago. A little back story after we reconnected I had not seen her in so long and I was at a bar hanging out close to where she lived so I invited her out to hang out. She said that she did not have money so she could not, but I told her I haven't seen her in 5 years, I will pay for a couple of beers for you so that we can hang out and catch up. For the record, I was completely over her and had relationships in between those 5 years so I really did not mind or care to hang out with her just as friends. We both established that there are no romantic feelings or anything of the sorts. Anyway we set up to hang out last friday (which will be the second time I hang out with her since we reconnected) and everything went well until about 2 hours before we met up with me she states "I paid some bills so you are going to have to pay for me tonight" I responded with "what? ummmmm wth?" but I was really bored to be honest and wanted someone to hang out with so I told her "Fine, but on my birthday you better buy me like 5 drinks" to which she responded "I will." I should have just said we can hang out when you have money to do so, but whatever what's done is done. We went out to a bar and had a great time. We both were drinking and got tipsy so she started talking about the good times in our relationship. I really did not want to talk about it but she kept insisting that it was a great time why not reminisce? So I said you are right and we started talking about it. She ended up crying and apologizing saying that I was the best boyfriend she ever had and that I treated her so well and she ****ed up. I consoled her and told her it sucked but it happened and all I can say now is I forgive you but I was too good for you and I just wished I had left you earlier instead of trying to make it work, but again it is what it is. We then started to talk about my birthday which is on Halloween so in about 9 days from now and she said "I wanted to keep this a surprise, but I got you some edible weed cookies as a gift." Mind you im not a big weed smoker, but I do like to vape it every now and then so the fact that she got me weed cookies as a gift was a big deal to me because I wanted to get some brownies or cookies of the sort for myself and could not find anyone good enough to do it. This surprised me because I did not expect anyone to get me any kind of present for my birthday especially her who throughout the relationship that we had never bought me anything as a gift. Not that I wanted her to because I am basically used to not getting anything from anyone, but it does feel nice when I do. Anyway, we began to flirt as the night went on and the drinks kept coming and then we ended up making out. After that, we said good night, we kissed, and was suppose to hang out the next day. She cancelled on me and ever since last friday I haven't heard from her at all except for once in 6 days which was yesterday where she says she has been busy. Mind you it doesnt take much effort to say "Im doing well" if I text you "Whats up, how are you?" Now I feel like a joke paying for this woman as I feel like she used me for a free dinner and drinks, paid me back by making out with me, and moving on. I feel like NC her, but I do not want to be in a relationship with her. I just feel like I got played because she had no money or at least did not want to spend money and used me as an ATM for a good night. What do you guys think? I dont want to NC her and then she really did buy me those weed cookies or kind of "repay" me for the night by buying me birthday drinks, but at the same time I have like 1% hope she actually meant what she said and in reality she never got anything and has no intention of paying me back by offering to buy me drinks ever. I don't even think she will hang out with me on my birthday either. What do you guys think? You told her you were too good for her and you should have left her earlier in your previous relationship? I wouldn't plan on anything happening with her... 1
Yamaha Posted October 22, 2015 Posted October 22, 2015 I got played because she had no money or at least did not want to spend money and used me as an ATM for a good night. You answered your own question. Does this sound like someone you want to be friends with? If you do expect more of the same, in that you pay for her company.
Author Shock148 Posted October 23, 2015 Author Posted October 23, 2015 You told her you were too good for her and you should have left her earlier in your previous relationship? I wouldn't plan on anything happening with her... Yes I did because it's the truth and she without really saying it thought so as well. I don't want to be in a relationship with her so I could care less if anything doesn't happen. I just wanna know if she just used me for a good time or if I should stop over thinking it and be friends with her
Simon Phoenix Posted October 23, 2015 Posted October 23, 2015 Yes I did because it's the truth and she without really saying it thought so as well. I don't want to be in a relationship with her so I could care less if anything doesn't happen. I just wanna know if she just used me for a good time or if I should stop over thinking it and be friends with her Why would you be friends with this person? She basically used you for a night of free drinking at the cost of a make-out and now is being cold to you. Why are you trying to be friends with her? I truly don't understand why you are considering lowering yourself in this way. 1
TheLoveBelow92 Posted October 23, 2015 Posted October 23, 2015 I consoled her and told her it sucked but it happened and all I can say now is I forgive you but I was too good for you and I just wished I had left you earlier instead of trying to make it work, but again it is what it is. I dont know what kind of response you got from this but maybe it wasnt the best reply to have given this person, Either way it makes no odds, you text her and she didn't reply so its in her hands now, for now just forget about it as best you can for now and if she texts you again, work it out from there but if not there isnt to much to worry about 1
Author Shock148 Posted October 23, 2015 Author Posted October 23, 2015 Yeah you guys are right. I texted her so I should really just leave it alone until she goes out of her way to text me first. It just sucks knowing after 5 damn years shes basically the same person and that apology she gave me really didnt mean jack s#!+. Smh my lucky with women or friends is real.
TheLoveBelow92 Posted October 23, 2015 Posted October 23, 2015 Ive come along way from problems in past relationships to understand when you get to a certain point of asking so many questions you get headaches days on end that you come to the conclusion "does it matter" and "does it make a difference anymore" and ive learned all these things to little to late, Overthinking and over complicating something that doesn't matter or hasn't mattered for a long time does not heal and certainly does not help you or anyone else 1
Author Shock148 Posted October 23, 2015 Author Posted October 23, 2015 Ive come along way from problems in past relationships to understand when you get to a certain point of asking so many questions you get headaches days on end that you come to the conclusion "does it matter" and "does it make a difference anymore" and ive learned all these things to little to late, Overthinking and over complicating something that doesn't matter or hasn't mattered for a long time does not heal and certainly does not help you or anyone else I like this quote thanks. You are right, its been way too long why should I care? I should not. In either case it's her loss and she is not special in any kind of way in my life right now so I really need to just say f--- it and stop wasting my energy with nonsense.
mightycpa Posted October 23, 2015 Posted October 23, 2015 She didn't "use" you. She stated up front, on both occasions, that you'd have to pay for her, or she wasn't going. You were the one who agreed to pay. You could have said no each time. You bought her a few beers... big deal. Besides, she let you taste her mouth again in exchange. What do you expect for $20 worth of suds, a blowjob? What strikes me about your tale is that while you claim not to care, not to want a relationship and that you were completely over her, you kept going back to the well for more. The first time was questionable, the second time pathetic and the third time you got dumped all over again and here you are on loveshack, mewling about how she won't see you on your birthday. I'm going to give you a little homework assignment. If you do it, and do it honestly, it will help you. Consider this: It just sucks knowing after 5 damn years shes basically the same person and that apology she gave me really didnt mean jack s#!+. Tell me why it sucks.
WomenWubber Posted October 23, 2015 Posted October 23, 2015 Honestly, what did you expect? Seems like you played yourself to me.
Simon Phoenix Posted October 23, 2015 Posted October 23, 2015 I mean, no one told you to circle back to an ex from five years ago. I think you make your own luck when it comes to women. And I don't think she played you at all.
quattrob Posted October 23, 2015 Posted October 23, 2015 Yeah you guys are right. I texted her so I should really just leave it alone until she goes out of her way to text me first. It just sucks knowing after 5 damn years shes basically the same person and that apology she gave me really didnt mean jack s#!+. Smh my lucky with women or friends is real. Same could be said about you too, my point is you need to focus on what you did rather than what she did because what she did or does you have no control over however you have full control of your own actions and choices. Now im not saying what you did wrong or whatever, my point is sure she played you or whatever but that doesnt matter, what matters is you stop focusing so much on why or what she did to you instead focus on what you did and learn from you bad choices. Alot of people like to focus and ask about the opposition who made you feel bad but instead of acting like you're the victim, swallow your pride and accept that you made a bad choice, learn from it and move on. Its meaningless to focus so much on people like her, you only hurt yourself and you can only blame yourself for that
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