BelleSkye Posted October 22, 2015 Posted October 22, 2015 His mum called tonight, saying that it is over. How do I accept? especially after so many break ups and back together agains?
TaraMaiden2 Posted October 22, 2015 Posted October 22, 2015 What choice do you have? If both of them say it's over, how can you make it otherwise? When the barn is burning, a cup water will have little effect.... 1
ExpatInItaly Posted October 22, 2015 Posted October 22, 2015 Why did his mother call you to say this? Perhaps I'm missing a backstory, but I find that very strange. 1
Shock148 Posted October 22, 2015 Posted October 22, 2015 Yeah we need more details than just his mother called you to say it's over. What else do you want us to say over such a vague sentence other than yes accept it? 1
Meli22 Posted October 22, 2015 Posted October 22, 2015 Acceptance comes with time, you can't force it. It'll happen 1
Author BelleSkye Posted October 22, 2015 Author Posted October 22, 2015 We broke up two weeks ago (see my initial thread about the mastubating in bed issue). Then he came back that weekend and we spoke about it.i gave him a second chance. We broke up again last wednesday because I think mainly due to resentment but the fight triggered off because he knew I had pneumonia, and I still had to pick up the dog poop, wash clothes, make dinner etc. Thought the dog was ours, but during the fight, he said it was my responsibility now. I got so angry. I still cant remember the actual thing he said but it was enough for me to throw a pillow at him. Then my tablet. Then he said he was leaving for good. He left. It has been a week. From my other threads, you will see Im going to new zealand. I had to ask his mum though about the dog, and since we broke up so many times in the past, I was not sure if there was anything to reconcile. He has blocked my calls. Hence, me only speaking to the mum. When she said those words to me, I was dazed.....hence me here on ls
Shock148 Posted October 22, 2015 Posted October 22, 2015 Why would you want to be back with him anyway? The relationship seemed like it was poison. On top of that, you are leaving to New Zealand so there's no way this would continue anyway? Accept it and move on. 1
Author BelleSkye Posted October 22, 2015 Author Posted October 22, 2015 Because of the cliched cheesy line....Im in love with him. It was so easy being there for him. Making him happy made me happy. I have to let go now. I seem ok now but scared of the pain and confusion that comes with break ups. I also feel that it was my fault, trying hard to forgive myself.
TaraMaiden2 Posted October 22, 2015 Posted October 22, 2015 Because of the cliched cheesy line....Im in love with him. It was so easy being there for him. Making him happy made me happy. I have to let go now. I seem ok now but scared of the pain and confusion that comes with break ups. I also feel that it was my fault, trying hard to forgive myself. Anything of the ilk you describe is not what most people would call 'love'. There was a dysfunction there, a co-dependence on the toxicity of being wanted. FRankly, you are better off without him. It's an addiction I hope you'll be able to overcome quite easily. make sure you find a good, kind home for the dog. 1
Author BelleSkye Posted October 22, 2015 Author Posted October 22, 2015 Thank you Tara, I will try my best.
basil67 Posted October 22, 2015 Posted October 22, 2015 His mum called tonight, saying that it is over. How do I accept? especially after so many break ups and back together agains? You accept it especially BECAUSE he needed his mum to call and BECAUSE of so many breakup and back together agains. Based on nothing more than you wrote in this sentence, it's clear that this relationship has been rubbish all along. Move on. 2
sandylee1 Posted October 22, 2015 Posted October 22, 2015 Enjoy New Zealand. I'm sure you'll meet lots of nice people there. I've always found New Zealanders very friendly. I think the break up is for the best due to his laziness...but you must keep control of your temper. Men are also scared of women who show violence and don't want any part of that. Throwing objects can land you in trouble,,by causing harm that you didn't intend. 1
TheLoveBelow92 Posted October 23, 2015 Posted October 23, 2015 Things should never be that hard to begin with and from what you explained you didnt get along together, give yourself time with everything and just leave a sleeping dog lie, there is no more you can for now, you have big things coming up in life so start focusing on them, think of the relationship as it was (Not Great) and the endless possibility's and new people you can meet in the future and in time you will be better than you where before
Author BelleSkye Posted October 23, 2015 Author Posted October 23, 2015 I will do so thelovebelow92. Its a scary time for me. Doing my best to move on now.
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