Would you please help me, let me know what is going on with our relationship!

[flower2]

Hi everyone there, I do need your help! Please let me know what do you think according to whatever your experience is, Ok? Because I feel so down and depressed lately. Because of him.

 

He was my instructor in my school. I never thought I would fall in love with my teacher. Especially there is a rule that an instructor can not date the student. Even though now I already passed his class, I am on my way to my major now. But I am in deep deep deep love with this guy so much that I can't focus on my school, including anything.

 

First, he did always give me this kind of information that he did pay more attention to me than anyone else.

As we were together in the class, he would call me nickname, that no one else would do that except your closer family, I guess. Last day in his class, he asked me when I handed in my scantron, he asked "how to pronounce in Japanese" because Japanese was my original home-town. He said, "One day I might cross the ocean..."

 

And he em ailed me for my grade, that was a very sweet letter.

 

Those are only few examples. I could really feel that love from him. It was why I was in love with him , too.

 

But both of us NEVER mention any feeling we had. First, I am a shy person, so is him(a little bit). And probably he has his own concern that he is an instructor , and I am still a student in his school. I guess, but I am not sure.

 

After inter-session was over, I couldn't stop thinking of him, and I couldn't find any other way to meet him. Then

Guess what? I found his teaching schedule on the school's web-site, of course, it is easy to know the information about the teacher. Then I registered a course that has nothing to do with my major and my interest. I attended that class because only in that classroom, I will potentially make myself "meet " him. His class is right after my class, we are in the same classroom, at different time. By the time, my class is over, I can see him outside.

 

I made us "meet" . It seems that it is a great idea. But still nobody open up to each other. I started to send him a nice letter with nice gifts. He accepted and he was happy. That was my heaven to me!!! Then JUST for him, I even used my only 7-day-spring break to travel Japan, so that I found a very reasonable excuse to ask him,

"do you want me to bring you anything" He smiled at me for a long time, then he said, "surprise me!" That was a great news to me. Then I really went to Japan and I brought him a nice watch that costs me more than $200.

I wish I could bring him a better gift, because I really want to do everything for him as long as I can.

 

He was happy with that gift, too. Finally he e-mailed me again, he wanted to thank me very much, then his closing line is "Keep in touch" I felt great.

 

Then we met occasionally. We have once a little bit longer conversation. I kind of screwed up again. His eyes stared at mine, looked into my eyes as if he didn't want to miss anything in my eyes. All that time, I talked a little bit more than he talked. because he asked me some questions.... I was so dumb that I could NEVER talk to him, right. I might talk about my major and next school, and something else...blah, blah... NEVER mentioned that I have so much love for him, and I DO think of him every day, every minute. The conversation is simple, but we both did have a nice eye contact, we were happy.

 

Last time, I met him, I did screw it up, I think, again. I said, "Hi" He said, "Hi J" Then I said ,"Meet you again."

that sounds like I don't want to meet him. or I didn't know that I would meet him. That was not true. I want to see him every minute. I was just so shy to speak up and tell the truth. He just asked me ,"how are you doing?"

I said,"fine". Then we passed each other and left. But the all the way, we both smiled very much. And I could feel that he did want to stop to hear me saying something. But I missed this change , again.

 

Now, I can not go back to that classroom anymore because I dropped , I have too many other classes to be taken care of... SO, yesterday, I e-mailed him, I still talked about my school, and I only mentioned that I might need his help with my speech... I said, "Of course, I will pay any kind of training, it is not my point, though. Can we discuss this later after I finish all my tests?" He hasn't had any response for me. I am getting worried so MUCH ! Dear friends there, please analyze for me. Does he love me? Why didn't he write me back? Or he already give me up? Please let me know what do you think, and what should I do? That was a very casual letter I e-mailed him yesterday. I know usually he will be online. But why did he write me something to make me feel better. Even though I said I was gonna pay for training, because I don't want to mislead him that I only want his help. ALL I really mean is that can we really keep in touch with each other? Do you love me? That is the question behind .

 

Thank you very much, everyone there. I am appreciated. Really.

[flower2]

Btw, he is a kind of gay , because my classmate told me about that. It is too late to tell me that, isn't it?

Is it possible that a gay will fall in love with me?

[flower2]

Please tell me, did I do a stupid thing because I sent him an e-mail yesterday. I don't know. I feel so bad about myself. Why he didn't answer me. I feel like I completely losing my face and pride, and everything.

[ButterflyCanguro]

It's only been one day since you emailed him, give the poor guy some time to respond! Maybe he's just very busy and hasn't had a chance to answer you yet. Also, you said he is "a kind of gay"....what do you mean? Is he gay or isn't he? There is no "kind of gay". How does your friend know if he is gay or not? Maybe it's just gossip and not even true. Anyway, just give him time and I'm sure you will hear back from him soon!

[wakamiya]

That sounds really wonderful. I can't imagine how happy you are with each other... if I were you, give him a few days to respond. Who knows what may be up. He sounds interested in you obviously, so I would just give it a little time.