Jc396 Posted October 22, 2015 Posted October 22, 2015 Well my ex be left me about 2 months ago and I haven't spoken to him. You can read more about the breakup from my previous post http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/550912-he-left-me-over-something-small Well last I heard, he isn't doing that good. He has been getting rejected from girls left and right and it's really cutting at his self esteem. Mutual friends of mine said that his social media is full of depressing post and stuff basically because he can't get another girl. All the while, I have been talking to a few guys, nothing serious or anything just getting to know them and flirting. I have gotten a new job and been having fun with my life. I can't help but feel amused over my ex's hard time. It makes me feel like maybe I wasn't the problem in the first place like he made me out to be. I feel animosity towards him and the thought of him not doing better then me makes me feel better. How do I get through this? I know the longer I continue to feel this way, the longer it will take me to completely move on from him.
opalant Posted October 22, 2015 Posted October 22, 2015 When someone brings up your ex ask them to stop, don't ask or look at how he's doing. 2
Wewon Posted October 22, 2015 Posted October 22, 2015 I can't help but feel amused over my ex's hard time. It makes me feel like maybe I wasn't the problem in the first place like he made me out to be. I feel animosity towards him and the thought of him not doing better then me makes me feel better. How do I get through this? I know the longer I continue to feel this way, the longer it will take me to completely move on from him. What you're feeling is normal. You're simply being validated that you're alright after a break up. Its also good that you recognize that this isn't the best way to feel good about oneself. It is better to move on than to keep revisiting his difficulties. Just continue NC and advise your friends that you don't want to hear more about him. 2
geronimo Posted October 22, 2015 Posted October 22, 2015 This is the problem with being the dumpee, human nature always plays in and you naturally want what you cant have (your ex). So sure when you hear things like they aren't doing that great, or they're in a ****ty relationship (such was in my situation) you feel great, but this good feeling only lasts for a little while. But shortly after this thoughts of "what was wrong with our RS?" "why did they break up with me if they're having such a ****ty time" etc etc start to creep in and really all they do is send you in a downward spiral of overthinking things that are made up due to your limited information. Truth is, and trust me this was really hard for me to grasp aswell, your ex ended things cuz they didn't think this relationship was worth it, some times ex's are weak and have something else lined up like my ex did but other times they just don't want to be in a relationship so they walk away. Doesn't matter the fact is that they didn't think you were worth it for them anymore and why would you still think and care about someone who so easily gave up on you. You're worth much more than that, so pick yourself up and move on. Leave the past where it belongs and look towards the future. This person no longer owes you anything and you don't owe them nothing. You are strangers once again and that is how it should be. Trust me you will find someone better, you never hear about anyone still being stuck on their old relationship years down the road, thats because they find someone else, who is much better and more compatible for them. You will find that too, but you gotta let go of the past before you can go on. 2
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