Karine26 Posted October 22, 2015 Posted October 22, 2015 I have my first Online Date tonight. I'm not overly excited or blown away by him through talking and texting but I haven't met him yet so That seems normal. I'm learning that the 1st Online meetings are usually coffee or juice as I have been asked to do that numerous times. However, living in A major city with some of the worst traffic in the country, Im not always going to be down to drive 30-45 minutes in traffic for "coffee". So while we were on the phone last night I asked him if it was ok to have dinner (because I will be coming from work, will be starving and then I'll have to be in 5 o'clock traffic to go meet) and I let him know that I would pay for my own dinner and it could be at a happy hour. Is that reasonable? He seemed Ok with it. Also, he said he will pick a place and let me know after work, meaning when I'm driving to the area we agreed on. Is it normal to be so last minute? i thought that could be, not necessarily a red flag, but a yellow one haha but again, this may be normal for Online. Is it? Last question, so what happens if we don't feel that we mesh well? Im guessing we just eat or meal and cut it short? Or do ppl just get up and walk out? Haha Thanks for the help.
Gaeta Posted October 22, 2015 Posted October 22, 2015 I live in the suburb of a big city and drive 30 minutes or more quite often to meet someone just for coffee. There's nothing to it. It's not because it's a coffee that it will be short. I have had coffee dates lasting 3 hours. Well you meet, have dinner and enjoy chatting with the human being sitting in front of you. I have had dates where I didn't feel attraction at all BUT he was interesting, funny and I still had a great time. There is no questions etiquette. The first meeting is to see if there is attraction not to interrogate each other. Have fun, that is all there is to it. If you agree to meet again then get your questions list.
Toodaloo Posted October 22, 2015 Posted October 22, 2015 All sounds fine to me. Just relax and enjoy. Some of my best first dates have been last minute... Good luck! 1
SwordofFlame Posted October 22, 2015 Posted October 22, 2015 Feel free to invoke the Lemon Law Lemon Law - How I Met Your Mother Wiki - Wikia If it's not going well. Only kidding...
Author Karine26 Posted October 22, 2015 Author Posted October 22, 2015 Thanks. This online stuff is exhausting. I'm glad I got a free month for this site bc I probably wouldn't pay for what I'm seeing in my searches and the number of 45-60 year old contacting me lol (nothing wrong with it, just looking for someone my age-which clearly states in my profile that they apparently don't read- and was curious about online) Different rules for online. You have to meet before you go on a date. Makes sense though. Once my free month runs out I'll try real life again for awhile. But yea 30-45 minutes after getting up at 5am for work just to meet for coffee sounds exhausting. But then if there's no chemistry I guess I'd be glad that it's "just coffee"!!
Author Karine26 Posted October 22, 2015 Author Posted October 22, 2015 Feel free to invoke the Lemon Law Lemon Law - How I Met Your Mother Wiki - Wikia If it's not going well. Only kidding... LOL!!! I will save this on my phone just in case
Author Karine26 Posted October 22, 2015 Author Posted October 22, 2015 hi Greta, I guess my title was misleading. I meant the questions I had were about online dating etiquette not about what questions to ask. I don't interrogate on dates and I hate when guys do that to me. Sometimes I feel like am I on a date or an interview! Lol
StBreton Posted October 22, 2015 Posted October 22, 2015 (edited) Congrats on getting out there and your first OLD will bring a healthy dose of nerves with it so having him give you the location hours beforehand would be better IMO ...but I'm a little more cautious and formal like that. If the guy has done this before ...he should know you might want to know location before so you can tell a friend of your whereabouts ...that's respectful. So ...I would simply text him NOW and ask him where you're meeting ...teach him what is acceptable to you. I have met someone the day after first messaging so that's ok ...but I always want to know beforehand where I'm going (and not some text while I'm enroute) As another poster mentioned ...no interview style stuff the first meet ... And check the news etc for any interesting stories /current events going on in case there's a lull in the convo. Most conversations just flow but just in case. I like that you're forward about what works for you re: dinner over coffee. Have a great time! Fill us in! Edited October 22, 2015 by StBreton 1
Miss Peach Posted October 22, 2015 Posted October 22, 2015 (edited) I think that's fine. That is the one downside I have with the coffee or drink date too. I am usually meeting these guys off work and am starving and don't always have the time to have a snack before leaving. I'm a bit moody when I am hungry. The reason so many people choose coffee or a drink is because it's essentially a meeting to see if you match your profile, there is chemistry, etc. Also cost is an consideration too. If for some reason it's abort mission it's easy to leave a coffee date quickly. It can be harder for a dinner. Edited October 22, 2015 by Miss Peach
d0nnivain Posted October 22, 2015 Posted October 22, 2015 I only ever had 2 OLD dates but both were dinner for exactly the reasons you mentioned -- it takes too much time to get to the meet & you will be hungry. Since you mentioned etiquette & it was your idea to get dinner you need to be prepared to pick up the check. Ask some get to know you questions. Nothing too deep but something insightful: first pet; cats v. dogs; college; favorite food; where do you want to travel that you haven't gone yet etc.
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