dreamersreverie Posted October 22, 2015 Posted October 22, 2015 My friend set me up with her friend, we went one one date and I'm not interested in him whatsoever. He's a nice guy but there's nothing there and I'm also not a big fan of the age difference. How do I turn him down nicely?
PaperCrane Posted October 22, 2015 Posted October 22, 2015 My friend set me up with her friend, we went one one date and I'm not interested in him whatsoever. He's a nice guy but there's nothing there and I'm also not a big fan of the age difference. How do I turn him down nicely? No, he's just a regular guy. As a note, we hate being called a 'Nice Guy'. Don't let him down easy because that will lead to ruination of friendships and the guys heart. Be blunt however polite. However...I'll play devils advocate. Why stop at 1 date? 1-3 dates will leave a similar impact if you say no after, but they can shed light onto if you actually like them or not. You have a wall up about age so that's at the forefront of your thought pattern, and may be shooting the knees off of a possible good thing before it even starts. How big is the age difference?
d0nnivain Posted October 22, 2015 Posted October 22, 2015 You say Thank you for the date. I enjoyed meeting you but we don't have a future. Good luck in your quest. Do not elaborate. If pressed for the reasons you don't have a future the most you say is something vague, like "I'm just not feeling it." Don't talk about the age difference. Don't mention anything he said or did. Be vague but firm. If your friend asks, shrug & be equally vague.
MightyPen Posted October 22, 2015 Posted October 22, 2015 (edited) You say Thank you for the date. I enjoyed meeting you but we don't have a future. Good luck in your quest. Do not elaborate. If pressed for the reasons you don't have a future the most you say is something vague, like "I'm just not feeling it." Don't talk about the age difference. Don't mention anything he said or did. Be vague but firm. If your friend asks, shrug & be equally vague. I agree with giving a clear answer, but that sounds a little cold...almost clinical. "Good luck in your quest?" It's like he's searching for a magical sword lost to the centuries! Seriously, maybe something like, "It was nice meeting you. I'm sorry we didn't have a stronger connection but I wish you the best." That would make it clear you're done but it's a little kinder. Edited October 22, 2015 by MightyPen
chapter44 Posted October 22, 2015 Posted October 22, 2015 That is precisely why I don't go out on "fix ups" from friends there is always to much explaining to do. Just be honest and say you don't feel a romantic connection. My standard phrase is "Chemistry cannot be fabricated it's either there for me or it's not and unfortunately I just don't feel it with you. So rather than waste your time I think it's best if I just be honest". This way there is no room any further discussion or persuasion.
Miss Peach Posted October 22, 2015 Posted October 22, 2015 I would just thank him for taking the time to meet you but that it's not a match. I think it's good to thank someone. I also like to leave things neutral and drama free.
carhill Posted October 22, 2015 Posted October 22, 2015 My friend set me up with her friend, we went one one date and I'm not interested in him whatsoever. He's a nice guy but there's nothing there and I'm also not a big fan of the age difference. How do I turn him down nicely? Thanks for asking. I'll suggest an often used line when I was younger, when being rejected for dates. "Thanks but I don't feel that way about you"
Ami1uwant Posted October 22, 2015 Posted October 22, 2015 What sort of age difference is there??? My rule is if the first date well snd nothing insane or crazy came up you should do a second date and see what happens. A good percentage of women have said if they judged the guy after date 1 they wouldn't have had their husband.
todreaminblue Posted October 22, 2015 Posted October 22, 2015 I agree with giving a clear answer, but that sounds a little cold...almost clinical. "Good luck in your quest?" It's like he's searching for a magical sword lost to the centuries! Seriously, maybe something like, "It was nice meeting you. I'm sorry we didn't have a stronger connection but I wish you the best." That would make it clear you're done but it's a little kinder. quest actually makes the person saying it a little aloof from the reality o f having to dump someone so gives distance from the situation ....probably a good word to use....as it is polite yet distancing.....deb
Zippy2000 Posted October 22, 2015 Posted October 22, 2015 You say Thank you for the date. I enjoyed meeting you but we don't have a future. Good luck in your quest. Do not elaborate. If pressed for the reasons you don't have a future the most you say is something vague, like "I'm just not feeling it." Don't talk about the age difference. Don't mention anything he said or did. Be vague but firm. If your friend asks, shrug & be equally vague. Nah! I d sued something a little softer. Something like: "I had a really nice time meeting you, however you`re not what I`m looking for. I d wish you all the best for whats right for you". Dont use lets be friends crap because I hate it and sounds corny.
Maggie4 Posted October 22, 2015 Posted October 22, 2015 You only went on one date. You can't assume he is looking for a gf. Maybe he just wanted some nice female company. I would suggest you wait until he asks you out again (if he does), then at that time, thank him and decline. In the meantime, give feedback to your friend, that you didn't feel the spark. If she passes on the massage to him, he won't have to ask you only to get turned down.
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