chados Posted October 22, 2015 Posted October 22, 2015 So I met this girl online, I was on two dating sites and since I started seeing her she pointed out I was still on the one I met her, Of course I could read through the lines and deleted it.. I also said I understand why she brought it up and I'll remove it today. She said thanks for that. Well she made a user and found me on this other site and I get that it's kinda weird she tries to stalk me, she has trust issues etc.. She started feeling bad asking me why I would still have that one. My mind was telling me to delete it but I was lazy thinking 'I can do it next day' then next etc etc and it took me about a week, just in time for her to find out. Now I might have a reason lying to her but not to you guys. I had no interest in meeting anyone, I was just thinking what she doesn't know want kill her and I can delete it later. I was truly not even using that site. Well I'm in a bad situation now and my question is really what do I do? She said I don't feel the same about you but I love you.
losangelena Posted October 22, 2015 Posted October 22, 2015 You've been out with this girl twice. What's the rush to delete your accounts? Have you discussed exclusivity? Why are either of you profession your love after two dates? 3
smackie9 Posted October 22, 2015 Posted October 22, 2015 Before you know it she's gonna be wanting your PWs and will be monitoring your all text messages and emails and proceed to quiz you about all your past interactions, indiscretions, etc. She's bat s hit crazy jealous/insecure. RUN FOREST RUN!! 1
Author chados Posted October 22, 2015 Author Posted October 22, 2015 No we've been hanging out a lot, yes she is crazy I'm aware of that. Unfortunately she's amazing in every other way. The story is a bit longer then what I've maid it out to be, we've had contact for a year. We ended up talking again a few months ago. I went back to the sites cause nothing really happened between us. Anyways I realize in very much blaming myself for everything and maybe I should think more about myself.
central Posted October 22, 2015 Posted October 22, 2015 She sounds insecure and if she's making accounts on new sites to trap you, then how can you know she's not looking for someone else at the same time? You should have told her you'll take down or hide any profiles once you mutually decide to be exclusive, but until then you'll keep them active whether or not you use them. 1
Author chados Posted October 22, 2015 Author Posted October 22, 2015 She sounds insecure and if she's making accounts on new sites to trap you, then how can you know she's not looking for someone else at the same time? You should have told her you'll take down or hide any profiles once you mutually decide to be exclusive, but until then you'll keep them active whether or not you use them. Yes I totally agree. I'm pretty sure she wasn't, what worries me is that cause of her history it makes it almost impossible for her to trust me and like I said , she is such a good person besides from this.
losangelena Posted October 22, 2015 Posted October 22, 2015 This sounds like a shaky foundation for a good relationship. Proceed with caution. 1
Author chados Posted October 22, 2015 Author Posted October 22, 2015 Yes you know there are always some issues that you don't see when they first show up, I always knew but until it reached this point I didn't really care. I just believe that many people who falls for you fast do it cause they need someone there for them, and often they have had a tough breakup before. It doesn't take much for them to completely shut you off cause they always just wanted the closure from the past that they aren't over yet. 1
Michelle ma Belle Posted October 22, 2015 Posted October 22, 2015 Yes I totally agree. I'm pretty sure she wasn't, what worries me is that cause of her history it makes it almost impossible for her to trust me and like I said , she is such a good person besides from this. You are not responsible for whatever happened to her in the past. That is HER issue, not yours. This sounds precarious so proceed with caution. 2
Author chados Posted October 22, 2015 Author Posted October 22, 2015 You are not responsible for whatever happened to her in the past. That is HER issue, not yours. This sounds precarious so proceed with caution. Yes you are so right. I know so much more about things then I really show, it's like my brain is telling me this person has a red flag next to her yet it's telling me just be yourself and things will continue to be fine. Basically I'm an idiot
smackie9 Posted October 22, 2015 Posted October 22, 2015 She's a bunny boiler.......no va&^# is worth that much trouble.
Author chados Posted October 22, 2015 Author Posted October 22, 2015 She's a bunny boiler.......no va&^# is worth that much trouble. It's funny she actually used exactly bunny boiler to explain herself. I mean the thing that made her sad was that I told her I removed it for her yet I had that other one still there. Of course she wasn't okey with it at all but she accepted it until I sort of told her that I would remove it cause I wouldn't like it she had one. I try to do good things here and I do feel bad about it else I wouldn't be on this site. Can anyone see this from her perspective?
losangelena Posted October 22, 2015 Posted October 22, 2015 It's funny she actually used exactly bunny boiler to explain herself. I mean the thing that made her sad was that I told her I removed it for her yet I had that other one still there. Of course she wasn't okey with it at all but she accepted it until I sort of told her that I would remove it cause I wouldn't like it she had one. I try to do good things here and I do feel bad about it else I wouldn't be on this site. Can anyone see this from her perspective? Honestly, no, not really. I'm less interested in her perspective than in your perspective. What about this situation makes you want to continue?
menyou Posted October 22, 2015 Posted October 22, 2015 (edited) So, since you aren't at all interested in this psycho girl, why even question it? Just move on..... On the other hand, you sound like you do have some interest in her so why play the "what she doesn't know won't hurt her" card? Unless you are continuing your search, which you should tell her if you are, why not disable your accounts? ALL of them? Edited October 22, 2015 by menyou Spelling
Author chados Posted October 22, 2015 Author Posted October 22, 2015 So, since you aren't at all interested in this psycho girl, why even question it? Just move on..... On the other hand, you sound like you do have some interest in her so why play the "what she doesn't know won't hurt her" card? Unless you are continuing your search, which you should tell her if you are, why not disable your accounts? ALL of them? I don't remember saying I don't like her, the reason wasn't that I wanted to play any games, i was basically just lazy to go and delete something she didn't know existed that day. I was going to do it. And like I said I don't have any reason to lie on this site. But thanks for all of your input. I've asked my friends too and they don't see it as I did anything wrong.
Maggie4 Posted October 22, 2015 Posted October 22, 2015 I seem to be the only one who sees her side of it. If you have been declaring your feelings for her, and then she sees that you're still contacting other women, it makes you really two-faced. Making a fake profile is kind of extreme, though. Your dating profile was not removed, but was it dormant or were you active? If she could see that, right after you were so loving, you went home and signed in on your dating account, I would tell her not to trust you. 1
Author chados Posted October 23, 2015 Author Posted October 23, 2015 I didn't use it no, and this is also my view of it. I can totally see how a person can take it the wrong way. I told her it was a bit extreme and She agreed. Anyways I don't want to make her feel bad right or wrong. I apologized and tried to explain myself but I can definitely see how my story can be lie from her point of view, Or at least nothing she cant be sure about
phineas Posted October 23, 2015 Posted October 23, 2015 You are not responsible for whatever happened to her in the past. That is HER issue, not yours. This sounds precarious so proceed with caution. This. i don't care how amazing someone is, when they are still dragging their past around its a no-fly zone for me.
mortensorchid Posted October 23, 2015 Posted October 23, 2015 I just want to repeat back what was said in the original post: I don't feel the same about you but I love you. That sounds in the same vein as "I love you but I'm not in love with you." If and when something like that is said, you may as well cut ties. Ain't gonna happen.
Author chados Posted October 26, 2015 Author Posted October 26, 2015 I just want to repeat back what was said in the original post: I don't feel the same about you but I love you. That sounds in the same vein as "I love you but I'm not in love with you." If and when something like that is said, you may as well cut ties. Ain't gonna happen. I would agree normally but it doesn't look like that right now haha
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