mrfelt1 Posted October 22, 2015 Posted October 22, 2015 I was blind sided. Dating a girl for 4 months. Back ground first. She is 24 and I am 33. We met at a service project. Things were going great. I thought our feelings were mutual. She would text me how lucky she was too date me and how excited she was to see me all the time. She is finishing her doctorate in PT and just had to go back to class for 2 months between internships. We got back from a great weekend in Vegas and two days later bam she lays this on me........I knew your feelings were stronger than mine. I honestly thought that time together and experiences with you would get me to those same feelings. I was so excited to go to Vegas with you and had a great time. What changed was I returned to school, I felt I should be having these feelings of missing you especially after our weekend together and I wasn't. I really like you and enjoy our time together however I dint see my feelings progressing further and don't want to waste your time. I like this girl, don't know what to say or do. I will see her many weekends still because we go to the same church.
PaperCrane Posted October 22, 2015 Posted October 22, 2015 That lame excuse. People fall for each other at different rates. But then again, a 24 year old girl wouldn't understand tha... Wait, hold the phone, you took her to Vegas and then she decides to drop you? Haha, oh man, I'm sorry. Be glad you had some fun while you could, you dodged a bullet. Go NC, complete and utter NC. 2
bubbaganoosh Posted October 22, 2015 Posted October 22, 2015 You got used for the trip. Nothing more. I'm sorry that something like that happened to you. It was wrong and underhanded. Move on because you'll find out she nothing but a user and you can do better.
Try Posted October 22, 2015 Posted October 22, 2015 I really like you and enjoy our time together however I dint see my feelings progressing further and don't want to waste your time. People date to find the person that is right for them. There are no rules that you must follow in making that decision. You do not have to be fair in deciding if a person is the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. She decided that you were close but no cigar. At 24 she will tell many other men the same thing before she finds Mr. Right. She was dating you, she was not married to you. She told you the truth of how she feels about you in as nice a way as possible. She has that right. She did nothing wrong. If you were blindsided by this, then you were not paying attention. That is on you and not her. There is someone out there that will click with you and that will wake up ever day thanking God that you are in her life. Move on and go find that someone. Do not settle for less. 1
d0nnivain Posted October 22, 2015 Posted October 22, 2015 I'm not going to say that she used you for the trip but the trip probably solidified her doubts. She saw how much you cared. Her level of reciprocation to the extent it existed at all, wasn't as deep as yours. So she did what she thought was the right thing, ended it before she hurt you even more. If your Church has more than one service go to the one she does not attend to avoid seeing her. If that is not possible pray for grace so you can be in presence when required. 2
Author mrfelt1 Posted October 22, 2015 Author Posted October 22, 2015 She told me this was out of the blue for her too.
mightycpa Posted October 22, 2015 Posted October 22, 2015 I'm pretty much with D0nnivain on this one. It's not clear to me that she used you either. A lot of times, this happens after your first trip away together. In the end, she was honest and forthright with you. Not everybody is going to like you that way, and at least she's not wasting your time. I don't even know that you need to avoid her, really. Are you all broken up about this, or just disappointed? Avoid her if seeing her makes you feel bad, but if it is simply disappointing, then quiet civility will probably do the job. You don't have to be her best friend, but you don't have to be a stranger either.
Author mrfelt1 Posted October 22, 2015 Author Posted October 22, 2015 I am pretty broken up about it. I had been single for a while and guarded my heart until about 2.5 mouths of dating her. It will be hard to see her. My hope is she confused and young and does not know what she wants. Her last boyfriend was a loser a she stayed with him way too long. He was not nice to her and she had to drive and pay everything because he had no job and and DUI. I may just be grasping for something. I deleted everything. I will be cordial. Also up to our Vegas trip she was telling me how much she liked me and lucky she was to be with me and missed me.
sandylee1 Posted October 22, 2015 Posted October 22, 2015 Perhaps a woman closer to your age may be more suitable, although she wasn't horrible to you. I've had to finish with guys because I felt they had much stronger feelings than I did and I didn't want to string them along. There's plenty more out there....you just need to relax and let your hair down.
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