SwordofFlame Posted October 22, 2015 Posted October 22, 2015 Is it common for a woman to develop physical attraction over time. On first dates, if I don't feel like my date finds me physically attractive, I usually don't ask for a second one. Of course, I may be totally misreading her or maybe they're just shy or introverted.
Gaeta Posted October 22, 2015 Posted October 22, 2015 Yes I will grow physical attraction over the course of a few dates 2-3 dates. * There are men I meet and I know 100% I am not attracted to. Those I don't waste time with. * There are those I am not sure if I am attracted to or not. Those I will give 2-3 dates. Also, your philosophy is flawed. The question is are YOU attracted to her? If yes then ask her out. As for if she is attracted toward you let HER make that decision for herself over a few dates. I've been on dates where I thought the man wasn't into me and I learn after a few dates that in face he was crazy about me, he was just shy or lacking confidence. Let people decide for themselves, don't decide for them if they feel attraction or not. 2
d0nnivain Posted October 22, 2015 Posted October 22, 2015 You are surmising what they are thinking without knowing. Stop that. Some people do develop a greater attraction over time. Others don't. It varies from person to person. If you like your date & want as 2nd date, ask for one. If the other person doesn't want to go out with you again, they are free to decline. Your practice of rejecting them 1st by not asking for the 2nd date, probably means you have missed many opportunities because you mis-read the situation. 3
ZA Dater Posted October 22, 2015 Posted October 22, 2015 My view on this is different, I think if there is no attraction from the first date there will never be any attraction because if when the person is trying to be the best they can and you don't find them attractive then you definitely aren't going to find them attractive when they aren't selling their attributes t you. For what its worth I am usually the one nobody find attractive haha.
KatZee Posted October 22, 2015 Posted October 22, 2015 No. If there is no physical attraction, then there's no physical attraction and it doesn't grow over time. In order for attraction to "grow" there has to be SOME physical attraction there to begin with. You might not think the person is the most attractive on the planet, but there is something there you really like. Their eyes, the way they carry themselves, their legs, butt, boobs, arms, muscle, whatever it is. But if you literally don't think they're attractive at all and you can't picture yourself kissing them, then that doesn't change over time. I once dated someone I had no physical attraction for. Prior to him I had only dated people I found attractive and it never really ended well. I decided to be "less shallow" and give someone I didn't find attractive a chance. I tried convincing myself that I would "grow" to find him attractive over time. It never happened. And I can tell you that THAT relationship ended worse than the other ones I had been in. I wound up hurting that dude a lot.
ZA Dater Posted October 22, 2015 Posted October 22, 2015 No. If there is no physical attraction, then there's no physical attraction and it doesn't grow over time. In order for attraction to "grow" there has to be SOME physical attraction there to begin with. You might not think the person is the most attractive on the planet, but there is something there you really like. Their eyes, the way they carry themselves, their legs, butt, boobs, arms, muscle, whatever it is. But if you literally don't think they're attractive at all and you can't picture yourself kissing them, then that doesn't change over time. I once dated someone I had no physical attraction for. Prior to him I had only dated people I found attractive and it never really ended well. I decided to be "less shallow" and give someone I didn't find attractive a chance. I tried convincing myself that I would "grow" to find him attractive over time. It never happened. And I can tell you that THAT relationship ended worse than the other ones I had been in. I wound up hurting that dude a lot. Very sad but also true.
Jejangles Posted October 22, 2015 Posted October 22, 2015 I know on the first date if the guy is someone I could never be attracted to or it would take a very long time to be attracted to. But I also meet a lot of "gray area" guys where I'm not attracted but I'm also not turned off. Like Gaeta, I try to give those guys a few dates, but often it fizzles anyway because they don't seem to be willing to give it the same amount of time. I have actually been struggling with that, because I find it hard to be flirty if I'm not naturally feeling it, but then things don't seem to go anywhere with guys I thought there could be a shot with over time. I have felt both instant and built over time chemistry in my life, and both are worth pursuing. But I think there is so much emphasis on instant chemistry in online dating, it can be difficult to meet someone willing to just see where it goes or give it time.
kpl Posted October 22, 2015 Posted October 22, 2015 There is a line....repulsed is one thing, someone being reasonably attractive and their personality can push them over the edge to hot. For me, with a guy I like I tend to forget if the person is good looking or not. I'm so wrapped up in the whole package. Attraction is not about physical characteristics and people that know that know that it could grow. If someone is kind and a good person and reasonably good looking I will think they are completely sexy.
seekingluck Posted October 22, 2015 Posted October 22, 2015 It totally does. You can easily find someone attractive and not be attracted. And that can change. In either direction. For example, I've got a flirtation going with a guy I met a year ago. Wasn't even remotely attracted when we met. I mean I thought he was attractive. But not my type. Then in recent months it totally swapped. I am totally attracted and keep finding ways that he is "my type." So definitely give it a couple of dates. And I am a person that needs to break the "touch" barrier in order to be attracted. So find a way to touch my arm or something in the date. That helps.
lookin ahead Posted October 22, 2015 Posted October 22, 2015 In my case it really does, My ex i did not find attractive at all, he was just not attractive to me, he was just not good looking to me, but wow he reeled me in like crazy. We were together for 10 years go figure! and i can still say i still love him and find him attractive now, because eventually you find deeper meaning to your relationship that just turns them sexier or something, i found him so hot and sexy in every way. I can't explain it but with time he drove me love crazy and we were super passionate. It is possible, it happened to me. Physical is not everything, when you connect with someone on an emotional level that is true attraction. You can be with someone insanely gorgeous and have 0 chemistry. But when you have 110% chemistry trust me everything else doesn't matter. This is just me and my personal experience though.
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