Devildog Posted May 23, 2005 Posted May 23, 2005 I'm not going into all the details of my divorce again. There is a 300+ post in the Separation and divorce forum if You want to know more. Cliff Notes version. XW started spending time with a "friend" at our house while I was at work, decided she needed "space to get her head together" and then that she wanted a divorce. Her entire family told her what an idiot she was, blah blah blah. Anyway, she called me this afternoon, crying, apologizing that she "couldn't give me everything I needed and wanted". Told me how sad it makes her to see other parents with their children. She made this decision. I tried everything you can imagine to try and save the marriage. The marriage was stacked against me to begin with and I was willing to allow it to be even worse for me to work things out. She wouldn't have anything to do with it. So why the hell do I end up feeling guilty? Why do I feel like I am doing something wrong by moving on with my life and enjoying being me?
alphamale Posted May 23, 2005 Posted May 23, 2005 Originally posted by Devildog So why the hell do I end up feeling guilty? Why do I feel like I am doing something wrong by moving on with my life and enjoying being me? because you are too nice DEVILDAWG. But there is really nothing inherently wrong with that.
brashgal Posted May 23, 2005 Posted May 23, 2005 I think you did everything humanly possible. Don't let her guilt you into feeling guilty - sure you can feel sorry for her but do not feel guilty. I think she has a heck of a nerve crying on your shoulder at this point. You'd do best to avoid talking to her.
Craig Posted May 23, 2005 Posted May 23, 2005 Originally posted by Devildog So why the hell do I end up feeling guilty? Why do I feel like I am doing something wrong by moving on with my life and enjoying being me? Maybe you can't bring yourself to attempt to take her pain away because you must take care of yourself first now?
dgiirl Posted May 23, 2005 Posted May 23, 2005 Dont buy into her self-pity crap. She called you to ease her own guilt! Dont feel guilty!
Skeered Posted May 23, 2005 Posted May 23, 2005 DD - Your doin great..keep going with your life and enjoying being you...her guilt will surface more as she realizes that the grass isn't always greener on the other side. but that's for her to deal with not you...you did everything you could.. Keep your head up...
Mz. Pixie Posted May 23, 2005 Posted May 23, 2005 DD- Hugs to you babe, I'm sorry!!! She probably does in reality miss you a bit. It also probably bugs the crap out of her that you're talking to smoking hot babe. She made this decision. You tried so hard. Don't feel guilty.
ConfusedInOC Posted May 23, 2005 Posted May 23, 2005 Originally posted by Devildog I'm not going into all the details of my divorce again. There is a 300+ post in the Separation and divorce forum if You want to know more. Cliff Notes version. XW started spending time with a "friend" at our house while I was at work, decided she needed "space to get her head together" and then that she wanted a divorce. Her entire family told her what an idiot she was, blah blah blah. Anyway, she called me this afternoon, crying, apologizing that she "couldn't give me everything I needed and wanted". Told me how sad it makes her to see other parents with their children. She made this decision. I tried everything you can imagine to try and save the marriage. The marriage was stacked against me to begin with and I was willing to allow it to be even worse for me to work things out. She wouldn't have anything to do with it. So why the hell do I end up feeling guilty? Why do I feel like I am doing something wrong by moving on with my life and enjoying being me? Because you are a good man with a heart. She screwed you over. Never forget that. As long as you remember what she did to you and how selfish she was, you should NEVER feel guilty. Semper Fi.
Author Devildog Posted May 23, 2005 Author Posted May 23, 2005 Originally posted by Mz. Pixie It also probably bugs the crap out of her that you're talking to smoking hot babe. Ah, that it does. I allowed her to answer my phone again last week when the XW called. Now XW has convinced herself that she "interrupted something". (As if I would answer the phone during that, or that she would even notice the phone ringing during that ). But yeah, that is a large part of what is eating the XW now. Relax folks, crisis over. A really great friend of mine reminded me of what I needed to hear. I still can't save my XW, it isn't my responsibility to even try. And I need to continue on with making myself happy. That path doesn't lead back where I came from.
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