ldridge12 Posted October 22, 2015 Posted October 22, 2015 Ex girlfriend and I have been in no contact for over 30 days now after she decided not to take me back. I fought hard for over a month while she made a decision but no luck for me. In the last two days, two friends who are close to her but haven't chatted with me in a while [probably even before the breakup months past] have contacted me. Why? Because I reactivated my Facebook after 30 days and uploaded some nice pictures and talked about my new job [and it probably looks like im happy on the surface]. Keep in mind her friends are still my friends on FB but I've deleted her. Friend 1 starts off a conversation asking about my mom [unfortunately has a recently diagnosed form of cancer which sucks]. I honestly found it strange because she has never asked about my mom and never even reached out after the breakup. She's also the gossip type and I think when I responded and asked about her life but never mentioned my ex I saw she stopped responding. I for a second felt she was a hired gun sent by my ex after seeing my Facebook return probably on her timeline through her friends even if she's not my FB friend. Moving on, Friend 2, who is her best guy friend contacts me for the first time in months and I found it weird too. He goes on talking to me about football and all this other stuff and I don't mention my ex gf at all. I say thanks for checking in and talk soon. He then proceeds to text me: "Hey not sure if I'm out of line but she spoke to me yesterday and told me she really wanted to congratulate you but was scared of reaching out to you. Sorry if i'm out of line." I never responded. I am 100% committed despite my love for her and missing her to go no contact for her and not giving her any insight into my life or being the nasty and vindictive ex boyfriend who posts subliminal messages or sends shots at her through social media. I dont talk to her friends, I've been living my life, and I haven't disrespected her in any way. What's fascinating to me is when she broke up with me she explicitly asked me to not email her or contact her or call her and maybe we can be friends down the line. Now, she's acting like she's scared of contacting me? I think it should be the other way around considering how she left it. By the way, she broke up with me through email instead of facing me head on. Let me know what you guys think.
PegNosePete Posted October 22, 2015 Posted October 22, 2015 Keep in mind her friends are still my friends on FB Why? I never responded. I am 100% committed despite my love for her and missing her to go no contact Then why are you talking to her friends? I dont talk to her friends Eh I am confused. Who are "friend 1" and "friend 2" above, then? 1
louxor Posted October 22, 2015 Posted October 22, 2015 Ex girlfriend and I have been in no contact for over 30 days now after she decided not to take me back. I fought hard for over a month while she made a decision but no luck for me. In the last two days, two friends who are close to her but haven't chatted with me in a while [probably even before the breakup months past] have contacted me. Why? Because I reactivated my Facebook after 30 days and uploaded some nice pictures and talked about my new job [and it probably looks like im happy on the surface]. Keep in mind her friends are still my friends on FB but I've deleted her. Friend 1 starts off a conversation asking about my mom [unfortunately has a recently diagnosed form of cancer which sucks]. I honestly found it strange because she has never asked about my mom and never even reached out after the breakup. She's also the gossip type and I think when I responded and asked about her life but never mentioned my ex I saw she stopped responding. I for a second felt she was a hired gun sent by my ex after seeing my Facebook return probably on her timeline through her friends even if she's not my FB friend. Moving on, Friend 2, who is her best guy friend contacts me for the first time in months and I found it weird too. He goes on talking to me about football and all this other stuff and I don't mention my ex gf at all. I say thanks for checking in and talk soon. He then proceeds to text me: "Hey not sure if I'm out of line but she spoke to me yesterday and told me she really wanted to congratulate you but was scared of reaching out to you. Sorry if i'm out of line." I never responded. I am 100% committed despite my love for her and missing her to go no contact for her and not giving her any insight into my life or being the nasty and vindictive ex boyfriend who posts subliminal messages or sends shots at her through social media. I dont talk to her friends, I've been living my life, and I haven't disrespected her in any way. What's fascinating to me is when she broke up with me she explicitly asked me to not email her or contact her or call her and maybe we can be friends down the line. Now, she's acting like she's scared of contacting me? I think it should be the other way around considering how she left it. By the way, she broke up with me through email instead of facing me head on. Let me know what you guys think. This is like a super-breadcrumb lol, if that can be a thing Not only was the reason for wanting to reach out to you a breadcrumby reason in itself, but she can't even bring herself to reach out to you personally. Given what you've said about how she broke up with you I'm not surprised at all. She's just a coward who's scared of confrontation and would rather take the sheltered route so she can avoid any potential consequences. Just from what you've said in these few sentences you have probably dodged a bullet with this girl to be completely honest with you. But yeh, I always stick by telling people that unless your ex reaches out and explicitly states he/she wants to see you, then it's a most likely breadcrumb. They dumped you so they must be the one to suggest meeting up and anything else should be taken as breadcrumbs. 1
Toodaloo Posted October 22, 2015 Posted October 22, 2015 Urgh she is dicking about. Leave it. Don't bother. Keep conversations away from the subject of your ex. Keep moving on.
kgcolonel Posted October 22, 2015 Posted October 22, 2015 You are awesome. Well played. No negatives, and better, not to even mention her. Excellent!!!
dumbass2 Posted October 22, 2015 Posted October 22, 2015 Unfriend all of her friends so there is no way for her to check on you through their accounts and please, stop being fascinated by her and be done. Reading through some of your past posts, she was and still is the type of person that doesn't speak her mind and is a coward. You never know with this woman because she keeps her feelings inside until they boil over and hopes that you get the hints or can read her mind. My ex was like this and frustrated the heck out me.
Author ldridge12 Posted October 22, 2015 Author Posted October 22, 2015 I've actually unfollowed them to not see them in my friend. I haven't unfriended them yet and I probably should. I just honestly didn't expect to hear from them as I haven't.
Author ldridge12 Posted October 22, 2015 Author Posted October 22, 2015 Friend 1 is her female friend. Friend 2 is her best male friend.
Author ldridge12 Posted October 22, 2015 Author Posted October 22, 2015 Unfriend all of her friends so there is no way for her to check on you through their accounts and please, stop being fascinated by her and be done. Reading through some of your past posts, she was and still is the type of person that doesn't speak her mind and is a coward. You never know with this woman because she keeps her feelings inside until they boil over and hopes that you get the hints or can read her mind. My ex was like this and frustrated the heck out me. I agree bro. It's just been really tough. Only been a month and a half really. But I agree. We both had our issues but I wanted back in. But even if she didn't send these people, she had conversations with them which is enough. As my therapist said, no matter how great the love, assume the WORST of people in breakups.
Author ldridge12 Posted October 22, 2015 Author Posted October 22, 2015 You are awesome. Well played. No negatives, and better, not to even mention her. Excellent!!! Thanks man. Means a lot.
Author ldridge12 Posted October 22, 2015 Author Posted October 22, 2015 Urgh she is dicking about. Leave it. Don't bother. Keep conversations away from the subject of your ex. Keep moving on. Yep I'm definitely not going to add any fuel to the fire and be the bitter ex boyfriend. If her and her crew of friends think I'm petty for disappearing or not being amicable, so be it. There are no rules to how people should or shouldn't be post relationship. All I know is i've been respectful, followed her orders and added in a no birthday text and returned her stuff through my best friend. I have no interest in her because I'm not sure what her intentions are whether they are just to feel like she still has some power over me by me contacting her or her feeling like i've accepted things. I literally want to give her 0 satisfaction.
Author ldridge12 Posted October 22, 2015 Author Posted October 22, 2015 Unfriend all of her friends so there is no way for her to check on you through their accounts and please, stop being fascinated by her and be done. Reading through some of your past posts, she was and still is the type of person that doesn't speak her mind and is a coward. You never know with this woman because she keeps her feelings inside until they boil over and hopes that you get the hints or can read her mind. My ex was like this and frustrated the heck out me. It's the worst bro. Still growing and I think i've done pretty good. I just knew all this wasn't a coincidence. It's so selfish and immature. It really hurt my feelings.
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