Eternal Sunshine Posted October 22, 2015 Posted October 22, 2015 I had 1 date with a guy last week. We really hit it off and I had a lot of fun. This doesn't happen to me often or like.... ever. We spent 5 hours together and he tried to kiss me at the end of it but it turned into a awkward half kiss because I wasn't expecting it. Anyway, he told me was about to go camping with friends for a week in a very remote area the next day. He also told me that he ended a 7 year relationship less than 2 months ago. He said that it was over a long time ago and he just feels relieved that it's really over. On the date he seemed into me, lots of eye contact, he laughed at all my jokes, was engaging, lots of flirting and little touches. He told me he had a great time but no mention of the next date. He did mention that he may not have reception where he is going camping. Anyway, I messaged him the day after to wish him a good trip and said that I hope to see him again when he is back. He responded to thank me and to say that he can't believe how much fun he had with me. Still no mention of seeing me again. It's been 3 days now and I haven't heard from him. I know he is away but I also know that a guy that's really into me would contact me. I also know that the chance of not having phone reception in even remotest areas of Australia is slim to none. I am actually still hoping that I will hear from him when he gets back. Am I delusional?
menyou Posted October 22, 2015 Posted October 22, 2015 You had one date and you had a good time. He responded that he did as well. I live in a heavily populated metropolitan area and do not have cell reception inside my house. Lol I would just relax and stop over thinking. Wait until his vacation time passes. Do you know when he will return?
Haydn Posted October 22, 2015 Posted October 22, 2015 He`s having a laugh with his mates... Give him a week, he`ll likely contact you when he gets back. If not, there`s the answer. He also may be not a pushy type and very relaxed... Out of a 7 year RS....(Maybe he`s not looking for something so long term?)
kpl Posted October 22, 2015 Posted October 22, 2015 I wouldn't apply that logic after 1 date. No one is probably into anyone after 1 date. Give it time and yes the out of a 7 year relationship is a huge red flag but as of right now he hasn't done anything to cause you to worry yet.
LoveRefreshed Posted October 22, 2015 Posted October 22, 2015 As a man that came roaring out of a 5 year relationship, be careful. He may not be sure that he really likes you, but you know what, you're not his ****ing ex, and you probably have traits that his ex didn't that he found he wanted/needed. He might only see that in you and knows nothing of you. Also, shifting of romantic feelings onto you can give the illusion that he's really into you, when he doesn't realize that he's just used to being romantic and isn't really feeling anything towards you. In short, make sure you're not rebound. On the positive, yes, a couple dates, and a week away, I wouldn't be texting you either. I don't want to be needy or pushy or text just to text. If I saw something that I knew you'd like, I'd text you, but of course, in just a few dates, he doesn't know what most of that is. Guys have to ride the line of being attentive and caring without looking needy, so we tend to shy towards distance than smothering. Some guys anyway.
Leigh 87 Posted October 22, 2015 Posted October 22, 2015 Psychologist say that 1 in 50 encounters with that great instant seeming chemistry, amount to something deeper.... and that's just on average. In all likelihood. ..if a man was smitten with you, he'd have texted or called you prior to losing reception. ..... which yes, with Optus and Vodafone, is very normal in even urban and populated areas........ ALL the men who were into me texed or called me the next day...even the super introverts. ..... You talk about how men act when they are love crazy. ...even after one date, do you think they let those women go days without contact? Or if reception was bad or non existant, do you think those men just didn't text ( and waited for them to text ) the following day after the guys were enamored with them after the first date? You have said yourself that you prefer men to be super into you from the start....as opposed to indifferent or them liking you but not exactly excited by you, either..... If it were me, I'd have written him off as not really into me and put him in the between relationship fling pile. You never know, there are exceptions to the rules; some. ...SOME men atart off not enamoured or smitten with their dates and then end up that way! Based on his actions, there's a tiiiiiny chance he was feeling electric chemistry and was really into you. So just forget him and politely reply to him IF he talks to you again....and see what happens.... Just don't accept a guy whos not totally into you because YOU felt the amazing chemistry and connection. .... And plenty of guys I know of were into girls after date one. It doesn't take more than a date for most men to identify girls they are super into. 1
PegNosePete Posted October 22, 2015 Posted October 22, 2015 I met a woman for the first time, 2 days before going trekking in Nepal for 18 days. No contact for the whole 18 days, I was far too pre-occupied and cell reception was patchy and expensive. I texted her when I got home and we arranged the second date. 18 months later we're going strong 6
Leigh 87 Posted October 22, 2015 Posted October 22, 2015 I wouldn't apply that logic after 1 date. No one is probably into anyone after 1 date. Give it time and yes the out of a 7 year relationship is a huge red flag but as of right now he hasn't done anything to cause you to worry yet. Ummmm.. Plenty of people are really into each other after one date, actually. ... My friend and I both felt the spark with our boyfriends and we were all mutually into each other after one meeting. .... my parents were too and are still happily married. ..... Eternal sunshine according to her posting history, dreams of a relationship with a man who is into her right away and excited about the chemistry and prospect of seeing her again after their first date.
PegNosePete Posted October 22, 2015 Posted October 22, 2015 Eternal sunshine according to her posting history, dreams of a relationship with a man who is into her right away and excited about the chemistry and prospect of seeing her again after their first date. And this guy may well be. But he doesn't want to arrange a 2nd date until after he's back from his holiday. That's perfectly sensible and reasonable to me. 5
Leigh 87 Posted October 22, 2015 Posted October 22, 2015 And this guy may well be. But he doesn't want to arrange a 2nd date until after he's back from his holiday. That's perfectly sensible and reasonable to me. And yet he didn't make any mention of wanting to see her again. .... Nor did he initiate a text the following day;she had to. Who knows if she would have heard from him otherwise? He may well be into her. There is just no evidence of it as of yet.
Toodaloo Posted October 22, 2015 Posted October 22, 2015 And this guy may well be. But he doesn't want to arrange a 2nd date until after he's back from his holiday. That's perfectly sensible and reasonable to me. Just highlighting those two words...
PegNosePete Posted October 22, 2015 Posted October 22, 2015 He may well be into her. There is just no evidence of it as of yet. Well, except he texted to say that he had a great time. There's no evidence that he's not.
xxoo Posted October 22, 2015 Posted October 22, 2015 He's camping, so he's focusing on the people there. He's probably telling them about you
Leigh 87 Posted October 22, 2015 Posted October 22, 2015 Just highlighting those two words... How many people who were smitten after the first date, acted sensible and reasonable, to the extent whe the guy didn't even express interest in wanting to see his date again? My own boyfriend was sensible and reasonable. ..wasn't over the top initially but even as a total introvert he still expressed the desire to see me again... despite the fact he felt like a school boy with a crush who would get verbal dihroea at any given moment. ...... He had ample opportunity during after and the next day after the date to say " hey I really enjoyed our date, I am keen to see you after I get back" He didn't even respond to her saying that ahe wanted to maybe catch up when he's back..........
Redhead14 Posted October 22, 2015 Posted October 22, 2015 I had 1 date with a guy last week. We really hit it off and I had a lot of fun. This doesn't happen to me often or like.... ever. We spent 5 hours together and he tried to kiss me at the end of it but it turned into a awkward half kiss because I wasn't expecting it. Anyway, he told me was about to go camping with friends for a week in a very remote area the next day. He also told me that he ended a 7 year relationship less than 2 months ago. He said that it was over a long time ago and he just feels relieved that it's really over. On the date he seemed into me, lots of eye contact, he laughed at all my jokes, was engaging, lots of flirting and little touches. He told me he had a great time but no mention of the next date. He did mention that he may not have reception where he is going camping. Anyway, I messaged him the day after to wish him a good trip and said that I hope to see him again when he is back. He responded to thank me and to say that he can't believe how much fun he had with me. Still no mention of seeing me again. It's been 3 days now and I haven't heard from him. I know he is away but I also know that a guy that's really into me would contact me. I also know that the chance of not having phone reception in even remotest areas of Australia is slim to none. I am actually still hoping that I will hear from him when he gets back. Am I delusional? Give yourself a break. One date, he's away, and you are expecting him to stay in touch, not to mention that the ability to reach out is at best limited? I also know that a guy that's really into me would contact me -- yeah, that would usually be the case, however, you need to keep context here -- the guy is traveling to the remotest area of Australia and he's only had one date with you . . . It's possible that he didn't mention seeing you again because he was going away and just wouldn't be able to pinpoint his schedule after he returns. He will be tired from the trip and need a couple of days at least to recover. Just wait it out. If he calls, he calls, if he doesn't, he doesn't. 3
Leigh 87 Posted October 22, 2015 Posted October 22, 2015 Well, except he texted to say that he had a great time. There's no evidence that he's not.[/quote He responded to her text. Had she not texted who knows if he'd have initiated a text? Plenty of guys say they had a great time just to be polite. ... In my experience, and I am sure in HER experience, men who are into her text after the date to let her know they had a great time. Men who are smitten don't wait for the girl to text. Especially given he's away for a week or so, you would think he'd make his interest and intention of seeing her again known prior to leaving for a week....... No evidence to suggest he's into her as of yet. I'd forget about him and then if he did turn out to be into me, it'd just be a bonus. ..
Gaeta Posted October 22, 2015 Posted October 22, 2015 (edited) He also told me that he ended a 7 year relationship less than 2 months ago. He said that it was over a long time ago and he just feels relieved that it's really over. Ohhhhh honey, you know better than to be wasting time with these men. Of course he thinks he is over his relationship, we all think we are when we just get out of it because we're in survival mode. This man needs to taste his single-hood before he's ready to put his shoes permanently under a woman's bed. *don't touch that* is my advice. You will end up the big loser. And about the chemistry, yes you have been hit to the heart with chemistry but on his end he's raw & vulnerable. He will probably be infatuated with every single woman he'll meet his first year of being single. You must be his first dating experience since he split up? Again *don't touch that* Edited October 22, 2015 by Gaeta 1
ScienceGal Posted October 22, 2015 Posted October 22, 2015 I understand your situation, my nerves would be getting the best of me! Try to relax and give him the week. From what you wrote, I really do think that he will contact you once he is back. Fingers crossed
Rejected Rosebud Posted October 27, 2015 Posted October 27, 2015 I met a woman for the first time, 2 days before going trekking in Nepal for 18 days. No contact for the whole 18 days, I was far too pre-occupied and cell reception was patchy and expensive. I texted her when I got home and we arranged the second date. 18 months later we're going strong I notice that you haven't used the word SMITTEN in your post though, which makes me expect some folks to doubt the depth of your relationship. SMITTEN. That's what you gotta be!!
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