Situasian Posted October 22, 2015 Posted October 22, 2015 I have been dating a girl for the last 4-5 months. We meet online and we caught up with each other a few times before we decided to be come official. Today she told me she wanted to break up as she felt like she wasn't happy with herself and dealing with depression. Basically she was with her ex husband (they are currently getting divorced) for 9 years and married for 4 of those years. They have two children, one has Aspergers and the other one has autism. They have been separated for over 2 years now. She also works fulltime as a teacher also. Anyway we started dating and everything was going well and we were moving along at a fast/reasonable pace so to speak. However i have noticed the last few weeks her distancing herself from me. Obviously i got my answer today when she rung me up and told me she wanted a break. Now i have been the first person she has dated since she broke up with her husband however she has had flings before hand with other guys etc. I've been more than considerate and be a proper gentlemen for her but she tells me she isn't feeling like she is in a good place right now and could be dealing with depression. Now my question is i told her before i hung up on her that i'm always here for her if she ever needed anything but now i've said that i don't know what to do. She said she needs some space so obviously i'll do that but i don't feel heartbroken, just more disappointed because i know if we worked out it could of been fantastic between us. Any suggestions on what my next move should be>
d0nnivain Posted October 22, 2015 Posted October 22, 2015 Your next move should be to find somebody else to date. She's not divorced & she has her hands full. At best you were a moderate rebound, her sticking her toe back into the dating pool. She decided she wasn't ready. You can't sit & wait for her. You two had bad timing but waiting won't fix that. Let her go.
itisdanielle Posted October 22, 2015 Posted October 22, 2015 If I were you I would stop speaking to her because she's told you that she doesn't want a relationship. Even though you said you're not heartbroken, you seem to really want the relationship and if you stay in contact you'll most likely continue to want to be together. I know it sounds harsh to just cut her off when she has depression. I have been through that before and know how awful it is, but it isn't your responsibility to put yourself in a position to help her if doing so could hurt you too. Hopefully she has other people to talk to like friends or a therapist so she isn't dealing with it completely alone?
theredpill Posted October 22, 2015 Posted October 22, 2015 You clearly pushed her too fast for a relationship, acted like a nice guy (from what you wrote) with all the "I'm here for you" stuff, cut all that shenanigans out for your own good with future relationships. Leave this woman alone, don't ever reach out to her again - that way you'll retain your dignity and maybe, just maybe... when her head is clearer and she's dated enough idiots, she might come back. It's your job to pick yourself up and start dating other women with the goal of meeting someone even better before she does come back, which she probably will when she's hears about you dating someone else. Keep your options open, thank her for the memories if she contacts you and set your boundaries, she's in or she's out, if she's out, there's no need to talk to her and be clear about that, don't ever be "just a friend". Good Luck, you can do it!
Recommended Posts