Author sparkles_and_me Posted October 23, 2015 Author Posted October 23, 2015 Ugh. Good. I went out with a guy like that once. He'd text, I wouldn't answer. He'd call, I wouldn't pick up. He'd keep calling until I was like WHAT? Eventually I had to explicitly tell him to go away, and he did. Blocking works, too, I suppose. I plan on texting him tomorrow to stop bothering me and to tell him that I don't think that there is a future to us. I might just lie and tell him that I got back with my ex so he will stop texting and calling me. Then block him off after that. Do you think it's a good idea to text him and let him know that I will appreciate if he stops contacting me? It is my first time encountering this kind of guy.
TaraMaiden2 Posted October 23, 2015 Posted October 23, 2015 No. Because any form of contact with him will, in his mind, be a response that you hold SOME kind of interest. He will know that he's got to you. Seriously? I would just block and ignore completely. No matter how long it takes, he WILL eventually 'get it'. my previous question? About where you live/work? He's not privy to that information, is he?
Author sparkles_and_me Posted October 23, 2015 Author Posted October 23, 2015 Ugh. Good. I went out with a guy like that once. He'd text, I wouldn't answer. He'd call, I wouldn't pick up. He'd keep calling until I was like WHAT? Eventually I had to explicitly tell him to go away, and he did. Blocking works, too, I suppose. THis sounds EXACTLY like the kind of guy who, if you were ever totally insane enough to give him an open door, would end up attempting to control every single aspect of your life, in order to create the person he wants you to be. He would end up choosing your clothes for you, your make-up, workplace, friends and even keep you from your family because a guy like this wants to possess every gram of you and your existence. Yeah, why not? Give it a shot! No, don't. Block, delete deny abandon. he doesn't know where you live/work, does he....? He actually knows where I live. I am just hoping he wouldn't do something crazy. I know it is my fault to have him pick me up from my house on the first meeting. I learned my lesson. But I am scared now.
TaraMaiden2 Posted October 23, 2015 Posted October 23, 2015 Oh damn. Well in that case, send him a text. Tell him - don't ask him, not even politely - to stop contacting you as you are not interested and are now dating someone else. "I no longer wish to be in contact with you. I am dating other people, and feel our situation is not one I have any interest in pursuing. Kindly refrain from contacting me in any way, again." That's it. And keep all copies of texts, because he has all the potential of becoming a stalker.
Author sparkles_and_me Posted October 23, 2015 Author Posted October 23, 2015 Oh damn. Well in that case, send him a text. Tell him - don't ask him, not even politely - to stop contacting you as you are not interested and are now dating someone else. "I no longer wish to be in contact with you. I am dating other people, and feel our situation is not one I have any interest in pursuing. Kindly refrain from contacting me in any way, again." That's it. And keep all copies of texts, because he has all the potential of becoming a stalker. I will send that text tomorrow. Then completely block him. I am worried and scared right now. If only I knew. That's why I am so thankful to be a part of LS. I'll keep you updated.
Popsicle Posted October 23, 2015 Posted October 23, 2015 Haha! I don't think it would make a difference but to answer that question, no he is not. Then forget it. Get rid of him.
ManyDissapoint Posted October 23, 2015 Posted October 23, 2015 Is he super hot? Because it would be okay then. Finally some honesty! Being hot definitely gives you a lot more room for bad behavior. For all you know this guy could be a gem, he just doesn't know how to play the 'be unattached, uncommited and unavailable' game. He may have seen too many romantic comedies and think that that is what women actually want. I say give him a date and see how you feel.
TaraMaiden2 Posted October 23, 2015 Posted October 23, 2015 Finally some honesty! Being hot definitely gives you a lot more room for bad behavior. For all you know this guy could be a gem, he just doesn't know how to play the 'be unattached, uncommited and unavailable' game. He may have seen too many romantic comedies and think that that is what women actually want. I say give him a date and see how you feel. Redundant post. She's already said he's not. No matter how good-looking. If a guy is a creep, there's no way he's going to maintain any form of relationship based on that behaviour. Besides, if he were 'hot' he'd in all likelihood be behaving like a predator/narcissist. (Taking extreme behaviour into account, the profile of which, this guy fits).
lollipopspot Posted October 23, 2015 Posted October 23, 2015 I say give him a date and see how you feel. Have you read this thread? This guy is behaving in a way that any woman should have some fear for her safety. There's no question that she should separate herself from him as quickly and safely as possible. 1
Zippy2000 Posted October 23, 2015 Posted October 23, 2015 I will send that text tomorrow. Then completely block him. I am worried and scared right now. If only I knew. That's why I am so thankful to be a part of LS. I'll keep you updated. Just send a polite text. No reasons about going back to an ex. Somthing as easy as "I had a good time meeting you and it was fun however I dont see a future for both of us. I wish you all the best in your search for the right one" Start with a positive. A reason inbetween and on a good note. I wouldnt use negative words such as "refrain" or "contacting me in any way again". It sounds rude and very defensive and when it does. Some men will try to fix the siutaution by contacting you again. 3
marychapman Posted October 23, 2015 Posted October 23, 2015 Just send a polite text. No reasons about going back to an ex. Somthing as easy as "I had a good time meeting you and it was fun however I dont see a future for both of us. I wish you all the best in your search for the right one" Start with a positive. A reason inbetween and on a good note. I wouldnt use negative words such as "refrain" or "contacting me in any way again". It sounds rude and very defensive and when it does. Some men will try to fix the siutaution by contacting you again. This. Because you also don`t want to knowingly upset an unstable person anymore than necessary. 2
TaraMaiden2 Posted October 23, 2015 Posted October 23, 2015 Just send a polite text. No reasons about going back to an ex. Somthing as easy as "I had a good time meeting you and it was fun however I dont see a future for both of us. I wish you all the best in your search for the right one" Start with a positive. A reason inbetween and on a good note. I wouldnt use negative words such as "refrain" or "contacting me in any way again". It sounds rude and very defensive and when it does. Some men will try to fix the siutaution by contacting you again. This. Because you also don`t want to knowingly upset an unstable person anymore than necessary. Actually, they're right. Quite true.... 2
hippychick3 Posted October 23, 2015 Posted October 23, 2015 OP, you probably know this by now but just to reiterate....please don't ever, ever let ANY online dates pick you up at your house. Always, always, always take your own vehicle and meet somewhere in public for first date. 3
No_Go Posted October 23, 2015 Posted October 23, 2015 Nope. I think you should minimize i.e. stop contact all together. My experience with this type of guy: exclusive on 2nd date, start sleeping in my house every day on third date, move in with me on 30th day (*after TONS of drama how much he "loves" me, and how we're "destined" to be, and me "breaking up" with him over it on week 2). Read the rest if you have time: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/504300-break-up-live-mooching-boyfriend In short: he was alcoholic and criminal, made me pay for all his living expenses after he hooked me, costed me >$7000 for our 6 months "relationship" Your guy may very well be similar sociopath running after e.g. your money. I don't think the interest is genuine at all. I plan on texting him tomorrow to stop bothering me and to tell him that I don't think that there is a future to us. I might just lie and tell him that I got back with my ex so he will stop texting and calling me. Then block him off after that. Do you think it's a good idea to text him and let him know that I will appreciate if he stops contacting me? It is my first time encountering this kind of guy.
Guyouthere Posted October 23, 2015 Posted October 23, 2015 He actually knows where I live. I am just hoping he wouldn't do something crazy. I know it is my fault to have him pick me up from my house on the first meeting. I learned my lesson. But I am scared now. Unfortunately many women (and some men too) learn their lesson this way. Lets just hope this doesn't continue and he isn't someone who is capable of being a real stalker. Stay firm and don't give in now. Plain and simple, get away from him and tell others should he continue.
Guyouthere Posted October 23, 2015 Posted October 23, 2015 posts like these make me sad because so many normal and better guys are out there, and these creeps get more "access" then we do.
Disconnect Posted October 23, 2015 Posted October 23, 2015 (edited) 'Tis funny, there seems to be a lot of this wacko weirdness around at the moment, my friend has a similar story to you, OP, and some guy I've talked to about 6 times online is going way over the top with me, telling me I'm his mirror and guide and that he loves me. It's all massive red flag mad nonsense and quite probably towards dangerous. Edited October 23, 2015 by Disconnect
losangelena Posted October 23, 2015 Posted October 23, 2015 I'm going to go a bit against the grain here and say that I don't think you need to be scared, necessarily. This person doesn't sound dangerous in the charming Ted Bundy way, he just sounds over-eager to me. Use your words first. Say no, say what he's doing is unacceptable and that you won't put up with it. Tell him to leave you alone. If he reacts badly, then block.
losangelena Posted October 23, 2015 Posted October 23, 2015 I read your OP again. I think he's persistent because you agreed to another date. I accidentally did that, too with that guy. I didn't know it would set off a torrent of communication. There was one day where I went to go meet a family I was cat sitting for. He'd called as I was parking. I thought, ok, I'll call I'm back when I get home. Well, like 40 minutes later, and I'm driving home, he calls again! When I did call him back, I said, I know we were supposed to go out again, and if you hadn't acted the way you've been acting, we'd still be going, but you've just come on too strong. He tried to talk me back into meeting, but I was like, no, absolutely not. He got it, backed off, and I never heard from him again. People don't always understand evasive behavior. You may just want to be straight with him first (and tell him you're canceling the date). 1
xcupid Posted October 23, 2015 Posted October 23, 2015 His messages are all about how we can be wonderful together. We are destined to be with each other. That he is so happy that he met me and I came into his life. He would tell me how much he misses me. I would stop responding and not read the rest of the messages because it really creeped me out. I called him out for everything he was doing but he told me that he just does them/says what is on his mind. I said ok but he won't stop sending me super long messages, he stopped sending my edited pics though. I know this isn't normal, something is messed up somewhere. If it creeps you out then you have your answer. He's infatuated before even getting to know you. He sounds desperate and needy at the very least. 1
boltam Posted October 23, 2015 Posted October 23, 2015 Keep your eyes open, when you leave your house take a good look around. Consider getting a taser gun, you just might find that it comes in handy.
Author sparkles_and_me Posted October 24, 2015 Author Posted October 24, 2015 I texted him today. This was my message "I don't think this is going to work. I'm not the right girl for you. This will be my last text." He responded with 6 novel long text messages but I no longer responded. He attempted to call me once but of course, I didn't answer. His response on my last text was that we should talk about it and he is real and serious about everything, he was just being true and honest. If I would like, he will stop being so straightforward and romantic just so he can be with me peacefully and he won't make anymore stupid creative things. If it is about the money, I shouldn't be worried because he will take care of everything...
Guyouthere Posted October 24, 2015 Posted October 24, 2015 I texted him today. This was my message "I don't think this is going to work. I'm not the right girl for you. This will be my last text." He responded with 6 novel long text messages but I no longer responded. He attempted to call me once but of course, I didn't answer. His response on my last text was that we should talk about it and he is real and serious about everything, he was just being true and honest. If I would like, he will stop being so straightforward and romantic just so he can be with me peacefully and he won't make anymore stupid creative things. If it is about the money, I shouldn't be worried because he will take care of everything... Quite honestly and bluntly, you have a true psycho on your hands,,, I'm sorry to say. I hope it all works for the best, but people like that are just too weird. 1
Author sparkles_and_me Posted October 24, 2015 Author Posted October 24, 2015 Quite honestly and bluntly, you have a true psycho on your hands,,, I'm sorry to say. I hope it all works for the best, but people like that are just too weird. I hope it all ends there. It kept me worried. When I got home, I took a good look around to check. I was being paranoid.
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