RyanBeynolds Posted October 22, 2015 Posted October 22, 2015 I don't know what made me post this but I am tired of bugging my friends about my ex. Even though I treated her perfectly, she was a pathological liar and ended up cheating on me. There were a lot of mixed feelings about this because she could have been taken advantage of, but I was just done putting up with all of her BS so I ended it for good. So this weekend I was out with friends for my friend's birthday, and a mutual friend tells me how crazy she has been, sleeping around all the time and what not. This was already enough to make me feel disgust and definitely decreased the amount I was thinking about her. Then, yesterday I found out she has been doing cocaine. I really wanted to break no contact and tell her she needs to cut that **** out. I don't know, I always want the best in people and I saw my best friend in high school go down that terrible path, so I wouldn't want to wish it upon anyone, not even my ex. But, my friends told me that'd be a bad idea to contact her, so I just wanted to write out that I finally feel I am over her. It's her life and if she can't respect herself, that's her problem now and not mine. I guess she was right when she was crying and telling me not to leave because I make her a better person!! :-)
xpaperxcutx Posted October 22, 2015 Posted October 22, 2015 It's really none of your business what happens to her. I know this sounds very mean and selfish, but you are going through your own healing. To break NC would mean getting dragged back into those horrific feelings you felt when with her. If you are really worried, then reach out to a mutual friend or let her family know so that they can do some kind of intervention. It's really not your place, but I can understand the concern. I've never met anybody who has done cocaine, but those are the stuff that will destroy a person's life.
LoveIsMyReligion Posted October 22, 2015 Posted October 22, 2015 You're not going to magically change her, a lot of people just have to learn the hard way. Words rarely if ever change people, it's life events like a big break-up or something along those lines that do. 1
Author RyanBeynolds Posted October 22, 2015 Author Posted October 22, 2015 (edited) It's really none of your business what happens to her. I know this sounds very mean and selfish, but you are going through your own healing. To break NC would mean getting dragged back into those horrific feelings you felt when with her. If you are really worried, then reach out to a mutual friend or let her family know so that they can do some kind of intervention. It's really not your place, but I can understand the concern. I've never met anybody who has done cocaine, but those are the stuff that will destroy a person's life. Yes, I understand completely. When I first found out about the drugs, I definitely had a strong urge to say something. But like you said, it is not my business what she chooses to do anymore, and my friends steered me in the right direction. It's just something that has pushed me super far away now, because drugs is something that I don't stand by and everybody that knows me understands that. I feel sort of immoral because I'm always trying to help others and I am not saying anything, and that it took her to be heading towards rock bottom to make me want nothing to do with her. You're not going to magically change her, a lot of people just have to learn the hard way. Words rarely if ever change people, it's life events like a big break-up or something along those lines that do. I should realize this as well. Although she was doing many positive things in her life, some negative aspects that I told her to work on... she just never listened! I hate showing pity but it's like she did a 180 from when we were dating to now. And I'm not trying to seem like some holy-art-thou, but that's just how it was. Edited October 22, 2015 by RyanBeynolds
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