Bibimon Posted October 22, 2015 Posted October 22, 2015 Hello dear visiters at the fifth of Sep. my bf broke up with me, because he kissed an other girl a few days before and thought he don't feel as bad as he should. I was really down and just wanted to get my love back. After a few weeks we started to talk again. Now we are writing, phoning and meeting regularly. He says, he doesn't want a relationship for at least a year. But every time I'm at his place we both start cuddling, kissing and sometimes more. There have been more than one situation he told me, that he is missing me, that he wants me, that I should stay with him or even that he loves me. I really love him and it would be okay with me, if we just be good friends and more when I only knew how it is. But at the moment I'm just confused. Is he playing with me? Or is he just scared of a serious relationship (we are 20 and 22 and had a relationship since we were 18 and 19). He never wanted anything from the girl he kissed, he was really drunk when it happend. Please give me some advice how I shall react to him.
sparkles_and_me Posted October 22, 2015 Posted October 22, 2015 When he said he doesn't want a relationship, believe him. You'd rather end it now than later. I know it's hard to let go because the feelings are still there but do what's best for you. You don't want a bf who goes kissing other ladies or doing God knows what if he is drunk. He is just stringing you along and still gets the benefit of having a gf without the commitment. Respect yourself and move forward. There is someone out there much deserving of your love and loyalty.
mightycpa Posted October 22, 2015 Posted October 22, 2015 Hello dear visiters at the fifth of Sep. my bf broke up with me, because he kissed an other girl a few days before and thought he don't feel as bad as he should. I was really down and just wanted to get my love back. After a few weeks we started to talk again. Now we are writing, phoning and meeting regularly. He says, he doesn't want a relationship for at least a year. But every time I'm at his place we both start cuddling, kissing and sometimes more. There have been more than one situation he told me, that he is missing me, that he wants me, that I should stay with him or even that he loves me. I really love him and it would be okay with me, if we just be good friends and more when I only knew how it is. But at the moment I'm just confused. Is he playing with me? Or is he just scared of a serious relationship (we are 20 and 22 and had a relationship since we were 18 and 19). He never wanted anything from the girl he kissed, he was really drunk when it happend. Please give me some advice how I shall react to him.Kissing that girl was just the tip of the iceberg. There is some pent up desire in this young man, and I suspect it's going to come out soon. When I was his age, I didn't want a relationship with anybody either. I started dating a bunch of girls and then what do you know? I actually really like one, and by the time I was almost 23, there I was, happy as a clam in a new relationship. It is a rare individual that has that much self-control, that he's willing to forego an attraction in favor of the abstract idea that he doesn't want to be in a relationship. More likely, he hasn't met the right person yet, and it sounds like that includes you.
Author Bibimon Posted October 22, 2015 Author Posted October 22, 2015 He doesn't date or meet other girls. And he doesn't want a relationship at all whether with me or an other girl. He don't even use dating apps or anything like that in the moment. And because of his work and studys he hasn't time to go to partys or anything.
ExpatInItaly Posted October 22, 2015 Posted October 22, 2015 Sorry OP, but it's safe to say he's playing with you. He explicitly said he doesn't want a relationship. Believe him. I know it hurts, but it will hurt you more when he continues to see you but also meets up with other girls. You're being very naive to assume he won't find time to see other girls; he already did when he got drunk and kissed someone else. He found time for that, didn't he? It will be far less painful for you in the long run to let him go and go No Contact.
itisdanielle Posted October 22, 2015 Posted October 22, 2015 I agree with the others. He has said that he doesn't want a relationship so you should listen to this and move on. If you still try to cling to him and get any sort of attention from him that you can, he could lose respect for you. Walking away shows you're keeping your dignity and respecting yourself. Also, imagine you did end up getting more like you said might happen. I know if that was me I would keep thinking 'what if he goes out tonight and gets with another girl again?' or 'how long until he changes his mind again?'. It's not worth living with those thoughts and it would end up driving you crazy!
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