grokcahsevol Posted October 22, 2015 Posted October 22, 2015 Ever since my breakup and the most recent activity, I have been somewhat fascinated by humans and relationships. Today, this came up in a conversation as it somewhat deals with my post breakup. Have you dated or possibly still dating someone that cheated on you in the beginning of the relationship with their ex but you didn't find out until a few months later? but your partner and that ex also haven't spoken since the cheating took place. If so, how did you handle it and what did you do? Someone told me they could get over it as it was in the beginning of the relationship and time has passed.
newmoon Posted October 22, 2015 Posted October 22, 2015 mine was cheating with his ex 8 months into our 1.5 year relationship. i had no idea until a mutual friend told me at the 1.5 year mark. the same day i found out i ended it with him and we never spoke again. he tried to reach out a year after the incident (i guess he got dumped by that point), but once they cheat... adios. i only regret i didn't know sooner, cuz obviously i was ignorantly bliss. 1
dumbass2 Posted October 27, 2015 Posted October 27, 2015 Cheating is cheating. Doesn't matter if it was in the beginning or when it happened as long as it happened when the two of us were together. I would never be able to forgive someone for doing that. I would never be able to trust again despite how bad I might want to try.
mystikmind2005 Posted October 27, 2015 Posted October 27, 2015 I did have a GF cheat once,,,, the scary bit was that part of me found it exciting, i don't know what that's about? but i do hope i never have to face opening that can of worms in the future!
PegNosePete Posted October 27, 2015 Posted October 27, 2015 Hell no. Why would anyone accept that? Cheating is a red card. Do not pass go, do not collect £200, go straight to Dumpedville.
bachdude Posted October 27, 2015 Posted October 27, 2015 My first thought is, since it was the "beginning" of the relationship, was it before exclusivity was discussed. Sometimes in the beginning of the relationship, one person assumes exclusivity while the other is considering it "just going out on dates". In my day, once a coupled kissed, it was a done deal - exclusivity was established. Today, it seems that people need to have an actual meeting of the minds for this to occur and making out is no longer assumed to mean exclusivity. How was it is in your case?
sambolini Posted October 27, 2015 Posted October 27, 2015 I did not stay. I divorced my ex wife as soon as I discovered her cheating and never looked back. The fact we have a daughter together didn't deter me in the slightest. Better to be effective co parents than to be in a crappy relationship with someone who doesn't respect you. I never advocate staying.
warshaw Posted October 28, 2015 Posted October 28, 2015 Hell no. Why would anyone accept that? Cheating is a red card. Do not pass go, do not collect £200, go straight to Dumpedville. I used to wonder about that too. Why stay with a person who deceived you in the ultimate way, why be with a person who put their needs so far ahead of yours that it's obvious they're uncaring and selfish to the extreme, why continue the relationship knowing that you will never, ever be able to trust them and you'll probably "trigger" many times throughout the years. Now, I sort of get it. It's not always that easy to break away from a family, knowing that you'll lose most of what you own, probably a house, and access to the kids. It will be a matter of starting over, facing the unknown, which is rather scary, even though it's probably better than the devil you know. I hope I'm never faced with that decision. Well I won't be, because I'm divorced and me and the gf keep our finances separate. But I feel for the ones who are caught up in the mess of an affair and all the fallout.
Recommended Posts