binrob Posted October 21, 2015 Posted October 21, 2015 (edited) Me and my ex got together 5 years ago. We were each others first love and first sexual partner. She left me after 2 years after she said she wasn't happy with how things were between us. I admit I was young and didn't really know what I wanted which must've been hard for her. When she decided to leave I truly understood how much she meant to me and tried to get her back. Didn't work and she had a new boyfriend within weeks. 2 months later she reached out saying how she was sorry and wanted to try again. We did. We lasted 2 more years. The last couple of months were rocky but we were getting better but then we had one big fight. After that she decided to break up. She started dating this other dude immediately. She would not listen and come back no matter what I said. However a month and a half later we started talking and we decided to take it slow. She said she wasn't sure at first which was hard for me, but after a week or so she said she loved me and truly wanted to try again. However about 3 weeks after that she said she couldn't do it and broke up with me. Not more than a week later she was in a relationship with someone else. It was on facebook and everything. She cut me out of her life. Blocked me. Her father called to tell me not to call her anymore. I was crushed. I went true NC in January. She left me a little over a week into November. She had just moved next door to me when we broke up so I saw her and her new boyfriend all the time. I moved to a new place in April. I started university in August. I have not contacted her since. I have dated, I have been with other women, although I maybe started more than 6 months after she left me since I was too depressed to care about anybody else. But I still miss her everyday. I still feel sad. I still hurt. I'm still empty. It won't go away. The pain never goes away. I don't really know what to anymore. I'm tired of feeling like this. She is still with the same guy she got into a relationship with just a few days after she left me. I can't talk to my friends. I just keep it in. I just want to be happy again. Edited October 21, 2015 by binrob
wlh22 Posted October 22, 2015 Posted October 22, 2015 I am extremely sorry you are going through. I can imagine (trust me - when my first ex left me, I found out she was with someone else within days so likely overlapped. Also, in parallel, her mom called me to tell me nicely to stay away from her and get better soon. I do believe we loved each other but I guess that ended) Why aren't you talking to your friends? You should. Find some close ones. Make some new ones. Sharing will help. 1 year is long to feel stuck. I still feel sad sometimes about my ex from 8 years ago but not that I can't go 24 hours thinking about her, you know? She was part of my life and I will always feel sad it didn't work out and that she didn't value what we had or love me enough. The good thing is you are in university with lots of people around. So take full advantage of it (you won't have this when you start working). Make friends, go out, join school/group activities, study etc. Date if you feel like dating or if you feel like taking time, take time (I did that initially and after 2 years I felt really good to find a new partner or even be single and be happy) Anyways... my point is... you need to work on your social circle and sharing. And you just need to give yourself some time. I promise you will be fine. Remember - she left you. You tell yourself she cared about you and loved you, but not enough. That's it. Move on with YOUR life and hope you find another fantastic partner. Me and my ex got together 5 years ago. We were each others first love and first sexual partner. She left me after 2 years after she said she wasn't happy with how things were between us. I admit I was young and didn't really know what I wanted which must've been hard for her. When she decided to leave I truly understood how much she meant to me and tried to get her back. Didn't work and she had a new boyfriend within weeks. 2 months later she reached out saying how she was sorry and wanted to try again. We did. We lasted 2 more years. The last couple of months were rocky but we were getting better but then we had one big fight. After that she decided to break up. She started dating this other dude immediately. She would not listen and come back no matter what I said. However a month and a half later we started talking and we decided to take it slow. She said she wasn't sure at first which was hard for me, but after a week or so she said she loved me and truly wanted to try again. However about 3 weeks after that she said she couldn't do it and broke up with me. Not more than a week later she was in a relationship with someone else. It was on facebook and everything. She cut me out of her life. Blocked me. Her father called to tell me not to call her anymore. I was crushed. I went true NC in January. She left me a little over a week into November. She had just moved next door to me when we broke up so I saw her and her new boyfriend all the time. I moved to a new place in April. I started university in August. I have not contacted her since. I have dated, I have been with other women, although I maybe started more than 6 months after she left me since I was too depressed to care about anybody else. But I still miss her everyday. I still feel sad. I still hurt. I'm still empty. It won't go away. The pain never goes away. I don't really know what to anymore. I'm tired of feeling like this. She is still with the same guy she got into a relationship with just a few days after she left me. I can't talk to my friends. I just keep it in. I just want to be happy again.
Author binrob Posted October 22, 2015 Author Posted October 22, 2015 I am extremely sorry you are going through. I can imagine (trust me - when my first ex left me, I found out she was with someone else within days so likely overlapped. Also, in parallel, her mom called me to tell me nicely to stay away from her and get better soon. I do believe we loved each other but I guess that ended) Why aren't you talking to your friends? You should. Find some close ones. Make some new ones. Sharing will help. 1 year is long to feel stuck. I still feel sad sometimes about my ex from 8 years ago but not that I can't go 24 hours thinking about her, you know? She was part of my life and I will always feel sad it didn't work out and that she didn't value what we had or love me enough. The good thing is you are in university with lots of people around. So take full advantage of it (you won't have this when you start working). Make friends, go out, join school/group activities, study etc. Date if you feel like dating or if you feel like taking time, take time (I did that initially and after 2 years I felt really good to find a new partner or even be single and be happy) Anyways... my point is... you need to work on your social circle and sharing. And you just need to give yourself some time. I promise you will be fine. Remember - she left you. You tell yourself she cared about you and loved you, but not enough. That's it. Move on with YOUR life and hope you find another fantastic partner. Thank you for your reply. I'm sorry for what you have been through. Atleast her mother called you in a nice way. I got called and threatened to stay away forever or he would call the police. I had done nothing. Contacted her 3 times since she broke up. Anyway. The reason I don't talk to friends or familiy is because it's been so long. I did talk to some friends and my sister a bit at the start. But I could tell they really didn't want to hear it and all they said was "forget about her, she's a b****". I know if I bring it up now they would just be like "you're still hung up on her?". There's no point in sharing. No one wants to listen. I have my friends around me and school and life are keeping me busy. But I don't ever feel happy. I am always hurting inside. It's just so hard you know. It has worn me out so much. I just want it to end.
wlh22 Posted October 22, 2015 Posted October 22, 2015 It's amazing that I am actually going through coping myself (for a different heartbreak recently) but I can be objective for your situation and ask a straight question For what do you want to end "it"? for someone who doesn't care about you? Thank you for your reply. I'm sorry for what you have been through. Atleast her mother called you in a nice way. I got called and threatened to stay away forever or he would call the police. I had done nothing. Contacted her 3 times since she broke up. Anyway. The reason I don't talk to friends or familiy is because it's been so long. I did talk to some friends and my sister a bit at the start. But I could tell they really didn't want to hear it and all they said was "forget about her, she's a b****". I know if I bring it up now they would just be like "you're still hung up on her?". There's no point in sharing. No one wants to listen. I have my friends around me and school and life are keeping me busy. But I don't ever feel happy. I am always hurting inside. It's just so hard you know. It has worn me out so much. I just want it to end.
Author binrob Posted October 22, 2015 Author Posted October 22, 2015 It's amazing that I am actually going through coping myself (for a different heartbreak recently) but I can be objective for your situation and ask a straight question For what do you want to end "it"? for someone who doesn't care about you? I don't necessarily mean killing myself if that's what you are reffering to. Although it has crossed my mind a few times. I know she doesn't care about me. I just don't want to feel like this anymore.
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