superdub Posted October 21, 2015 Posted October 21, 2015 How do you deal with trust issues post-divorce? I'm doing well right now but I am pretty hung up on this formula: "I trust. They say I don't trust. I go deeper and get more vulnerable. Probably involves some level of melt-down at some point in the future. They get mad at melt-down or attempt at intimacy and sharing. They either leave or accuse me of being crazy. Either way, they say I don't trust them or they don't trust me. All because of showing feelings or trying to be open." Anyone else stuck in this trust cycle? What did you do? (I'm on meds, in therapy, well adjusted, high functioning PTSD with some avoidant tendencies in advance. I like working on myself and getting better and feeling better. Right now...I'm like....ooooh, I want a hug. Not always the case with people)
mightycpa Posted October 21, 2015 Posted October 21, 2015 I trust. They say I don't trust. I think you need to drill down on this part. All of your difficulties must stem from whatever makes them say that.
Author superdub Posted October 21, 2015 Author Posted October 21, 2015 I think you need to drill down on this part. All of your difficulties must stem from whatever makes them say that. Standard pull down menu from here would be A) I do trust, but they don't think so. They say I have walls. 2) I don't trust them, for a good reason that I am trying to overcome but I've found an obstacle. 3) I do trust them, but can't convey the right expressions or emotions for them to believe that I trust them. (Different than 1 in that it's me not them. #1 it's them, not me). 4) Nobody knows what the **** is going on and there's alcohol involved for one party or the other. (I'm sort of kidding...but it almost feels right to write this as an option).
mightycpa Posted October 21, 2015 Posted October 21, 2015 Standard pull down menu from here would be A) I do trust, but they don't think so. They say I have walls. 2) I don't trust them, for a good reason that I am trying to overcome but I've found an obstacle. 3) I do trust them, but can't convey the right expressions or emotions for them to believe that I trust them. (Different than 1 in that it's me not them. #1 it's them, not me). 4) Nobody knows what the **** is going on and there's alcohol involved for one party or the other. (I'm sort of kidding...but it almost feels right to write this as an option).OK, that's a start, I suppose, but at its core, your answer is non-responsive. A. Why? 2. Why? 3. Why? 4. I believe you there.
Recommended Posts