ldridge12 Posted October 21, 2015 Posted October 21, 2015 (edited) *Again, you guys tell me if I'm acting crazy cause maybe I am* 1. About a month ago, me and my ex girlfriend were on a break of sorts where she was taking her sweet time to make a decision. She had me hanging in the wind. One day after two weeks of no contact, I broke and said "hey I've been going to therapy" and am working on myself and would love to work on us and tell you what i've learned. I was trying to save the relationship. I said can we sit down and she said sure just give me a time and date and I did give her dates immediately for the following week. This is all through her email as her phone was janky at the moment. After I sent her the dates, she practically disappeared. Like for a full week I didn't hear from her and thought it was extremely disrespectful. Now, we live in the same neighborhood. A week later, I'm walking down the street and bump into her and I immediately go into "Hey man, i've been totally respectful of the space you've needed all this time. I ask you to sit down with me and you agree and then disappear. I'm home hanging in the wind. Don't do that to me. It isn't nice. I then proceeded to pitch my case and said I need a decision. If you want to leave, leave. If you don't, let me know." I practically begged her to give me an answer because I felt like I was being dragged around. I spoke for 45 minutes and she practically stayed quiet the whole time. Except for her eyes welling up at times. Two days later, I get a long email basically detailing the reasons why she's done and says I can be your friend in the future but for now i want to be alone and i know you can respond to this email a million ways but i prefer not to hear it. After that day, which was about a month and a few days ago, I disappeared. I deactivated my account on Twitter and Facebook, stopped hanging out in spots in the neighborhood where she would be, didn't talk to any of her friends. I mean outside of maybe someone seeing me, she knows nothing about me nor has heard anything. So we have been no contact 30 plus days. Now this is where I need help. 1. On this past Monday, the 19th, i wake up and see a missed FaceTime call from her at 6am. She usually wakes up early for work but I just found it random. As she has an iPhone I personally just chalked it up to a mistake. She may have just pressed the wrong button. I didn't bite on that all. No call back no text no nothing from me. Staying strong even though i know it was probably a mistake. 2. Yesterday, i reactivated my FB account and had a few new pictures i uploaded and also talked about my work promotion. Since the breakup, i logged on one night and deleted all her pictures and deleted her as a friend. Yesterday, a few of her friends liked my photos and posts. I guess even as we aren't friends she probably saw them in her own timeline and saw that I'm not her friend. 3. This is where it gets tricky and maybe i'm completely overreacting. So, my sister graduated in the spring but just got her diploma a few days ago. She uploaded a photo of the diploma late last night [so all this is happening in the last 48 hours] and I commented on the photo and congratulated her. This is Facebook. Now, as we all know if you like something on Facebook no one who liked that photo gets notified. But if you comment, anyone who commented on the post gets notified. She decides to comment probably knowing i commented on it and i will get notified. Maybe I'm overreacting but I felt that was just a weird move on her part. Not sure and maybe she's completely over me a month in to the breakup but that just seemed super weird but maybe you can guys can set me straight if I'm wrong. Thank you. Edited October 21, 2015 by ldridge12
mightycpa Posted October 21, 2015 Posted October 21, 2015 How about this for a followup post? Hey sis, would you mind unfriending Matilda so that I don't have to see her posts when I FB with you? I'm sure she'll understand that it's me, not you. 1
basil67 Posted October 21, 2015 Posted October 21, 2015 I'm not seeing passive aggressive behaviour. I just see her using Facebook. Delete her friends. Or if you don't want to be that blunt, block them from your status updates. Ask your sister to do the same. Remove your ex and any contact with her from your social media.
louxor Posted October 22, 2015 Posted October 22, 2015 I'm not seeing passive aggressive behaviour. I just see her using Facebook. Delete her friends. Or if you don't want to be that blunt, block them from your status updates. Ask your sister to do the same. Remove your ex and any contact with her from your social media. This is a great alternative. I have many close mutual friends with my ex so given that I don't want to delete them - However I didn't want to risk seeing my ex come up in any of their pictures so I've just unfollowed about 5 or so of them so it doesn't show up in my feeds.
Survivor12 Posted October 22, 2015 Posted October 22, 2015 There is no need to unfriend anyone or ask anyone to unfriend her--just block her & change your settings to make your posts visible to "friends only". Problem solved.
ExpatInItaly Posted October 22, 2015 Posted October 22, 2015 I don't think she's being passive-aggressive, no. You're overthinking it.
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