Samuel_22 Posted October 21, 2015 Posted October 21, 2015 I really feel bad about myself. My ex is evil, I suppose some people have this finesse to teach Satan himself on how to hurt people. Two weeks ago I made the biggest mistake in my life since BU. I had received messages from my ex's sister about her breaking up with her boyfriend, that she was devastated and needed me. They manipulated me this way to establish contact with her, and when I did she told me she had got engaged with the boy, she also sent me some pictures to show what she was saying was really true. I wished her all the best and said goodbye. Upon saying goodbye, she asked me to send the download links for new episodes of The Walking Dead, I sent her the links via e-mail and I said good-bye. Two days later she proposes a friendship, I replied and I said I had not signed up for this, and I can't be her friend under any circumstances, I also said it was best for both of us to cut all contact. Two nights ago she again sent me a message on cellphone, she tells me the pictures were fake and she has missed me, when I replied and asked how she was, and she did not answer. I didn't even mention the fake pictures, if they were fake at all. Then after 6 hours I sent her another message and asked if she was ok and that I was worried, she did not answer that one either. At night I was worried, well I am human being, I sent her a message and told her, ''why do you even do that?'' I said what she was doing was ridiculous, she can at least confirm that she is ok. as I expected no answer at all. I am here now, I hate myself and don't know what to do anymore, I have literally screwed two month of NC, and I feel like a clown, who is being ridiculed, not to mention by sending those 3 messages, I have a feeling, she feels I am still a weak person. All these events took me to one month ago, I have emotions comparable to how it felt a month ago, not as bad as two months ago when we broke up, but still I really feel bad. Why is she even doing this? I have no clue. Do you think things have gone awry between them? Is she really trying to come back and that is why she is manipulating me like this? These question don't leave me alone. I am the one to blame, no doubt about this, I was rebellious and unruly and broke all rules, but I don't know how and where to start again?
SammySammy Posted October 21, 2015 Posted October 21, 2015 Stop being a clown who is being ridiculed then. Why are YOU doing this? Stop trying to blame her and take responsibility for what you allow to go on in your life. 4
Blanco Posted October 21, 2015 Posted October 21, 2015 You start by blocking her number, which, for some reason, you haven't already done. It doesn't matter why she's doing it. It doesn't matter what is and isn't going on between her and her boyfriend. What does matter is your mental well-being. By leaving possible channels of communication open, you're leaving your mental well-being open to assault. Blocking her number may sound like a trite, default answer, but answer this: How exactly has your life been improved by not doing this? How has it been negatively affected by not doing this? 4
Author Samuel_22 Posted October 21, 2015 Author Posted October 21, 2015 You start by blocking her number, which, for some reason, you haven't already done. It doesn't matter why she's doing it. It doesn't matter what is and isn't going on between her and her boyfriend. What does matter is your mental well-being. By leaving possible channels of communication open, you're leaving your mental well-being open to assault. Blocking her number may sound like a trite, default answer, but answer this: How exactly has your life been improved by not doing this? How has it been negatively affected by not doing this? Hi Blanco, I have no idea how to do this, I mean I have never seen the option in my cellphone, and the operator does not provide such a service either, or this is what they told me, I wanted to change my phone number, but for business matters I cannot...
Blanco Posted October 21, 2015 Posted October 21, 2015 Hi Blanco, I have no idea how to do this, I mean I have never seen the option in my cellphone, and the operator does not provide such a service either, or this is what they told me, I wanted to change my phone number, but for business matters I cannot... Depends what type of phone you have, but I assure you, unless you're using some Zack Morris style cell phone, you have the capability to block a number. Just run an internet search specific to the type of phone you have. 1
Author Samuel_22 Posted October 21, 2015 Author Posted October 21, 2015 Stop being a clown who is being ridiculed then. Why are YOU doing this? Stop trying to blame her and take responsibility for what you allow to go on in your life. Why am I doing what? Answering her messages? Well I suppose you either don't understand how it feels when you receive a message for someone you love or you are pretending it is really easy. I never claimed I am over her? or did I? I am still struggling, and when things start to get better, bang she shows up again. Why would she do this? If she knows, we are not meant to be, and if she loves her boyfriend, why would they even bother to hurt me? Funny I guess you are now going to attack me and say it was my fault that she tricked me by saying it had been a long time she was not in any relationships when she started with me, or don't you wanna say it was my mistake that her ex came back in her life? Hey go on... say that!
Author Samuel_22 Posted October 21, 2015 Author Posted October 21, 2015 Depends what type of phone you have, but I assure you, unless you're using some Zack Morris style cell phone, you have the capability to block a number. Just run an internet search specific to the type of phone you have. It is a Sony Z2... I am gonna see what I can find. I definitely need to do this, I am sick and tired of it all. Thanks
frigginlost Posted October 21, 2015 Posted October 21, 2015 Samuel, you are looking at this all wrong... You simply can't be nice with this girl. And by nice, I mean Low Contact. She is not that type of variety. The loudest and most profound statement you can make is to utter nothing to her and go complete No Contact. It is the only thing a person like her will understand. It will absolutely crush her ego, and give you back your power. Don't play into her "niceness"... 4
frigginlost Posted October 21, 2015 Posted October 21, 2015 Why am I doing what? Answering her messages? Well I suppose you either don't understand how it feels when you receive a message for someone you love or you are pretending it is really easy. I never claimed I am over her? or did I? I am still struggling, and when things start to get better, bang she shows up again. Why would she do this? If she knows, we are not meant to be, and if she loves her boyfriend, why would they even bother to hurt me? Funny I guess you are now going to attack me and say it was my fault that she tricked me by saying it had been a long time she was not in any relationships when she started with me, or don't you wanna say it was my mistake that her ex came back in her life? Hey go on... say that! Simply put, because she does not want you to move on. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with you not being over her. :-) 1
starpower Posted October 21, 2015 Posted October 21, 2015 I have a feeling, she feels I am still a weak person. ( She admits that she lied and concocted some bogus story about being engaged to another man. And your response to this is to ask her, if she's okay?
Blanco Posted October 21, 2015 Posted October 21, 2015 Why am I doing what? Answering her messages? Well I suppose you either don't understand how it feels when you receive a message for someone you love or you are pretending it is really easy. I never claimed I am over her? or did I? I am still struggling, and when things start to get better, bang she shows up again. Why would she do this? If she knows, we are not meant to be, and if she loves her boyfriend, why would they even bother to hurt me? Funny I guess you are now going to attack me and say it was my fault that she tricked me by saying it had been a long time she was not in any relationships when she started with me, or don't you wanna say it was my mistake that her ex came back in her life? Hey go on... say that! It wasn't your fault that she duped you in the beginning, but by now, you should know better. She's shown you who she is. That's why you're getting no sympathy. You've given her all of the control and, as such, act/feel as though you have no say in whether or not you're her victim. You ask why she would text you? OK, here's my theory: I think she texted you to see if she still had you on a string, since you had finally taken a stand by saying "no" to friendship. And once she got her answer, she had no need to further communicate with you. Your subsequent texts only reinforced her belief that, in you, she has her own personal patsy available at her leisure. I mean, wake up and smell the salts, man! Are you really to the point where you're going to interpret her emotionally toying with you as her having some warped romantic interest in you? Even in your best-case scenario where this is her way of showing you she's still into you, do you not see how immature and toxic that sort of behavior is? 2
SammySammy Posted October 21, 2015 Posted October 21, 2015 Why am I doing what? Answering her messages? Well I suppose you either don't understand how it feels when you receive a message for someone you love or you are pretending it is really easy. I never claimed I am over her? or did I? I am still struggling, and when things start to get better, bang she shows up again. Why would she do this? If she knows, we are not meant to be, and if she loves her boyfriend, why would they even bother to hurt me? Funny I guess you are now going to attack me and say it was my fault that she tricked me by saying it had been a long time she was not in any relationships when she started with me, or don't you wanna say it was my mistake that her ex came back in her life? Hey go on... say that! Please. I have numerous unreturned phone calls and text messages on my phone. You're not the only man women try to play games with. No woman can "play" me because I don't allow it. My ex tried that "let's be friends" stuff so she could manipulate and be cruel to me. I cut her off - for good. Didn't sit around whining and asking "why is she doing this to me"? She's not doing it to me because I don't let her. My AP is cold-hearted and cruel too. Months of messages from her. I don't respond. Sooner or later they get the message that they can't do that to me because I control what I allow in my life. Sooner or later you'll get the message that you don't have to tolerate certain things in your life either. Or continue to play the victim. It's your choice. 4
Author Samuel_22 Posted October 21, 2015 Author Posted October 21, 2015 Samuel, you are looking at this all wrong... You simply can't be nice with this girl. And by nice, I mean Low Contact. She is not that type of variety. The loudest and most profound statement you can make is to utter nothing to her and go complete No Contact. It is the only thing a person like her will understand. It will absolutely crush her ego, and give you back your power. Don't play into her "niceness"... I was not even in low contact with her, I did complete NC for two solid months until her sister texted me and said she was devastated and needed help, I just established contact to see if there is a chance, God I don't know how to explain it anymore. I really really loved her. Love seems so cheap a word, if I want to express my genuine emotions for her. So when an opportunity like this shows up, you may make a mistake like the one I made. What would people here do, if they were me? You might say, we wouldn't do that, but that's easy until the real situation shows up. But enough is enough I want to surrender, I don't want to fight anymore, my sword and shield down alright... I...have...lost! I wanna see where fate is going to take me. Blanco I was sure such a program did not exist on my cell phone, I have to install a 3rd party app, the name is DEAD2ME CALL & TEXT BLOCKER, I am going to do it, I just wrote the name of the app for anyone who is stranded like me.
frigginlost Posted October 21, 2015 Posted October 21, 2015 I was not even in low contact with her, I did complete NC for two solid months until her sister texted me and said she was devastated and needed help, I just established contact to see if there is a chance, God I don't know how to explain it anymore. I really really loved her. Love seems so cheap a word, if I want to express my genuine emotions for her. So when an opportunity like this shows up, you may make a mistake like the one I made. What would people here do, if they were me? You might say, we wouldn't do that, but that's easy until the real situation shows up. But enough is enough I want to surrender, I don't want to fight anymore, my sword and shield down alright... I...have...lost! I wanna see where fate is going to take me. Blanco I was sure such a program did not exist on my cell phone, I have to install a 3rd party app, the name is DEAD2ME CALL & TEXT BLOCKER, I am going to do it, I just wrote the name of the app for anyone who is stranded like me. I hear ya. I meant Low Contact going forward (which is what she is fishing for). She is trying to manipulate you right now and it's totally understandable that you "bit". She knows how you feel, and that is her power over you. When she felt that power shift, she reached out to control you again. The good news is that she showed her cards to you, and you now have another piece of information regarding her games. Look at it this way: Every single stupid and immature thing that she is doing to keep control over you, is actually showing you her hand. She is sinking her ship with each chess move because she is allowing you to develop a complete picture of her moves and motives. She make think she's winning... but in all reality, she is pushing your healing progress along... 1
Author Samuel_22 Posted October 21, 2015 Author Posted October 21, 2015 Well I tested the app, it really works...I want no sympathy, but please just...just..don't attack me, I have mentioned it in my original post that I am the one to blame, I am not gonna fight any more, I have laid down the sword and the shield, I was just unlucky...I have always been. I have blocked her, ****ing great I am still alive. Einstein was right people, time is relative to the observer, sometimes time slows down, your whole life flashes by, heartbreak and scars. I was just unlucky, I have always been... is there a way to block her from sending me e-mails too? I use Yahoo.. if anyone knows a way, I will be grateful...
quattrob Posted October 21, 2015 Posted October 21, 2015 Why do you even try to question or blame her for making you feel this way? You only have yourself to blame and question if anything. People have advised you to stop what you did but you didnt listen and now this happens to you so you come here to make yourself seem like you're being mistreated. You had full control of everything, your unwillingness to let go and listen to others is all on you. Stop thinking about why shes doing this to you or whats going on with her. The sooner you do that the better for no one but yourself. 1
Author Samuel_22 Posted October 21, 2015 Author Posted October 21, 2015 Why do you even try to question or blame her for making you feel this way? You only have yourself to blame and question if anything. People have advised you to stop what you did but you didnt listen and now this happens to you so you come here to make yourself seem like you're being mistreated. You had full control of everything, your unwillingness to let go and listen to others is all on you. Stop thinking about why shes doing this to you or whats going on with her. The sooner you do that the better for no one but yourself. Mate did you ready my previous post and the original completely? I have already admitted that twice, it has all been my fault. I blocked her on my cellphone, I am still struggling to find a way to block her from sending mails. Thanks
sandylee1 Posted October 21, 2015 Posted October 21, 2015 Was it her little sister who texted you? I think I remember this one. If so , you were told not to respond by pretty much everyone. That it wasn't your job to respond to her BF dumping her. You should have never contacted her. There's no point in asking for advice, ignoring it and then asking why she's doing this? I remember one poster said she probably put her sister up to it.......seems that was the case. Block her and delete her email address. She's a childish girl who wants to know you still have feelings for her. She isn't worth it at all. NEVER respond to her again, as no good will come of it. 1
Author Samuel_22 Posted October 21, 2015 Author Posted October 21, 2015 Was it her little sister who texted you? I think I remember this one. If so , you were told not to respond by pretty much everyone. That it wasn't your job to respond to her BF dumping her. You should have never contacted her. There's no point in asking for advice, ignoring it and then asking why she's doing this? I remember one poster said she probably put her sister up to it.......seems that was the case. Block her and delete her email address. She's a childish girl who wants to know you still have feelings for her. She isn't worth it at all. NEVER respond to her again, as no good will come of it. Yes you are right, and yes I made a mistake. I won't... she is blocked on my cellphone, no matter how hard she tries, I am non- existent from this night on... Thanks 2
quattrob Posted October 21, 2015 Posted October 21, 2015 Mate did you ready my previous post and the original completely? I have already admitted that twice, it has all been my fault. I blocked her on my cellphone, I am still struggling to find a way to block her from sending mails. Thanks I did read your previous post completely but you admitting twice and feeling bad about it doesn't change the fact about what I said. Like other's has mentioned you have to be accountable for your own actions. And I will re-iterate that people have advised you previously to not do what you did but you didn't listen and in fact you advised others in similar situation as you to do the same or similar advice. I just feel your mind isn't in the right place to give advice to others at the moment since you're struggling yourself. Help yourself first before you try and help others.
mightycpa Posted October 21, 2015 Posted October 21, 2015 Well I tested the app, it really works...I want no sympathy, but please just...just..don't attack me, I have mentioned it in my original post that I am the one to blame, I am not gonna fight any more, I have laid down the sword and the shield, I was just unlucky...I have always been. I have blocked her, ****ing great I am still alive. Einstein was right people, time is relative to the observer, sometimes time slows down, your whole life flashes by, heartbreak and scars. I was just unlucky, I have always been... is there a way to block her from sending me e-mails too? I use Yahoo.. if anyone knows a way, I will be grateful...You can't block her from sending, but you can send them straight to the trash can with a filter. Better yet, report them as SPAM. 1
MINDSHIFT Posted October 21, 2015 Posted October 21, 2015 (edited) What wrong with some of you posters. You people live in lala land. He has admit to making a ****ing mistake. It’s not easy to ignore a text or a form of communication from an ex. It’s sooo hard. Although blocking them if they are causing you hurt is a good idea. I personally feel it was not a mistake for you to respond, you should not beat yourself up. You live and learn. If you didn’t contact her I bet ya in few months, years or whatever you would of lived with the question of "what if". You found your answer she a manipulative bitch or confused and immature. I believe she was lying about the engagement to try and invoke some sort of sick reaction, and you know why probably cause she hurting and angry with God know what in her life. Exes can do cruel things. However the greatest revenge is massive success. Don’t take it to heart you put yourself out there, revealing you still care for her by asking if she was ok. Don’t feel like she thinks your weak. C'mon she told you she misses you, what do you think of her? The problem is your pride or ego has been dealt a blow, but recover who the hell cares if she thinks your weak **** her. You asked what a mature adult would ask someone you once shared your precious time with, simple as that! She has not got the upper hand, believe me in her four walls she leading a pathetic life to be toying with you like this. Just like you conquered the last 2 months of NC, dont worry start again and the time shall past and make you even stronger than before. Who knows maybe this communication is what was needed for you properly push forward with your life. I remember your post about the sister messaging you, it’s hard to ignore that even for curiosity sake. Those who advocate NC are mostly right but also sometimes very misguided and judgemental if it’s broken. I believe many people on this forum would respond to an ex if they were desperately trying to communicate. And getting the sister to text you is desperate and plain weird. Remember she does a lot of odd pathetic things, don’t put her on a pedestal. Who care if she thinks you still care about her (you do) there no shame in that your human. You reached out and she ignored you typical emotional game playing woman. Try not to over-analyses it and definitely don’t let it make you feel like ****. Edited October 21, 2015 by MINDSHIFT 3
mightycpa Posted October 21, 2015 Posted October 21, 2015 What wrong with some of you posters. You people live in lala land. He has admit to making a ****ing mistake. It’s not easy to ignore a text or a form of communication from an ex. It’s sooo hard. Although blocking them if they are causing you hurt is a good idea. I personally feel it was not a mistake for you to respond, you should not beat yourself up. You live and learn.There are many ways to understand the stove is hot. When people who have done it tell you not to put your hand on that stove because it will burn, then you really ought to listen, and resist the temptation to find out if you're somehow different than the rest of the world. Putting your hand on it is not recommended. Same thing applies here. 2
MINDSHIFT Posted October 21, 2015 Posted October 21, 2015 There are many ways to understand the stove is hot. When people who have done it tell you not to put your hand on that stove because it will burn, then you really ought to listen, and resist the temptation to find out if you're somehow different than the rest of the world. Putting your hand on it is not recommended. Same thing applies here. I somewhat agree but there times when you maybe hope that thing will be different for your case. Every relationship is different, it is good to learn from other people mistakes. Trust me ive learned alot from this forum probably could even saved my relationship. But once the browser closed it another story. 1
dumbass2 Posted October 21, 2015 Posted October 21, 2015 From here on out there are no more mistakes, only choices that you and only you make. You live and learn and hopefully you have. I hope you have now come to your senses and will think logically and not just with the heart. You have made decisions 100% with your heart. You must force the logic side of you to take majority control. 1
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