egalew Posted October 21, 2015 Posted October 21, 2015 Met a guy online. We had great chemistry when we talked on the phone. It will be a long distance (100 miles) relationship should things work out. Though we e-mail daily, his e-mails are always short, he never asks questions, etc. Yesterday, he sent me pictures of his house, which I took of him trying to brag/show-off, and not knowing what to say. Somewhat frustrating, I somewhat think his short, lifeless e-mails might be he's just not a good communicator. Do I give him a pass on this one until I know him better? I can be chatty, so am trying to keep my e-mails as light and brief.
d0nnivain Posted October 21, 2015 Posted October 21, 2015 Yes you give him a pass on this until you know him better. Not everybody writes novels. Spend as much time with him in person & see if he's more open & gregarious IRL. If you do wish to probe his seemingly terse e-mails do so by voice not via e-mail. He will need to hear the compassion in your voice otherwise you will come across as the school teacher giving him a poor mark. 1
Author egalew Posted October 21, 2015 Author Posted October 21, 2015 He's in town next Tuesday so we're suppose to meet. We haven't talked since a week ago. Only e-mail. How do I get him to jump to the phone? I hate to initiate the call.
Guyouthere Posted October 21, 2015 Posted October 21, 2015 He should write more about other things than simply send pictures of his house. You can make it humorous and ask him how many bodies are buried in his yard. har har har
d0nnivain Posted October 21, 2015 Posted October 21, 2015 He's in town next Tuesday so we're suppose to meet. We haven't talked since a week ago. Only e-mail. How do I get him to jump to the phone? I hate to initiate the call. You have to initiate the call or at least write in an email that you would prefer talking to typing. You have to take some responsibility for the lines of communication in your relationship.
Author egalew Posted October 21, 2015 Author Posted October 21, 2015 Agree. I think he was trying to impress me and he didn't know what else to say. The yard is big, so I made a joke about all the leaves he has to rake and his response back was very matter-of-fact and dry.
Author egalew Posted October 21, 2015 Author Posted October 21, 2015 donnivain - Agree. I guess I'm hesitate to call out of risk of seeming like I'm pursuing him or the aggressor. Any suggestions or what to say to get it offline and on the phone? Or, what to say should I call?
kendahke Posted October 21, 2015 Posted October 21, 2015 Do you tend to ask him "yes" or "no" questions, instead of ones which require him to to answer in more detail?
Guyouthere Posted October 21, 2015 Posted October 21, 2015 Agree. I think he was trying to impress me and he didn't know what else to say. The yard is big, so I made a joke about all the leaves he has to rake and his response back was very matter-of-fact and dry. Bodies.. ask him if he keeps count. hehehe I had a lady come in the store a couple weeks ago and she needed screws for tombstones. I really got into it with that one. lol ;0 I even sent her to the outside garden section for shovels and fencing. I told her she needed fencing to keep them in the yard come the zombie apocalypse. She cracked up like hell. And she did leave with a shovel.
Author egalew Posted October 21, 2015 Author Posted October 21, 2015 Again, his e-mails are short (a couple of lines). Since he isn't asking questions, I don't want to be out of fear of sounding like some police inspector. Or, the opportunities I've given him to open up, he' not really forthcoming. However, on the phone I couldn't get him off.
d0nnivain Posted October 21, 2015 Posted October 21, 2015 donnivain - Agree. I guess I'm hesitate to call out of risk of seeming like I'm pursuing him or the aggressor. Any suggestions or what to say to get it offline and on the phone? Or, what to say should I call? I'm not much of a typist. I'd rather hear your voice. My number is (123) 555-xxxx. Can you call me tomorrow?
Maggie4 Posted October 21, 2015 Posted October 21, 2015 You described the kind of guy I always end up dating - short email, pictures of houses. I don't think of house pictures as bragging, though. Some guys work on their house all the time, and if they worked on the car, you'd get car pictures. If they do gardening, you'd get pictures of plants. Since this is long distance, you should try something like skype.
menyou Posted October 22, 2015 Posted October 22, 2015 are you interested? then initiate. call. maybe he thinks you have a communication problem. 1
Author egalew Posted October 22, 2015 Author Posted October 22, 2015 Maggie - I agree that men tend to send pictures of whatever their interests/hobbies. If they ski, you'll see them on the slopes. They run, you'll see them at a marathon. Given the similarities between my guy and ones you've dated how did yours go/workout?
Karine26 Posted October 22, 2015 Posted October 22, 2015 Maggie - I agree that men tend to send pictures of whatever their interests/hobbies. If they ski, you'll see them on the slopes. They run, you'll see them at a marathon. Given the similarities between my guy and ones you've dated how did yours go/workout? Take it from me, no matter who initiates, talk on the phone before you meet. I just learned that lesson a few days ago. That phone call could change everything (for better or for worse). If he's short on his writing he could be short on personality also.
Recommended Posts