DreadfulKnight Posted October 21, 2015 Posted October 21, 2015 Hello Everyone, I hope I can find someone who has passed what I am passing and found a solution, because is something I lost control of it. I am 27 years old guy, coming from a well known family,with a good job, kind and caring but with a bad past. Always confident, unless it has to do with love, I lose it, i feel like I am nothing infront of other people. Unfortunatly I am victim of something called Othello Syndrome)Morbid Jealousy=. This has ruined all of my relation ships and is ruining the one I currently have, which means more than anything to me. My lady wants to leave me and she did already twice, yet we end up back together. Today I think she really had enough. As much I try to keep it inside or not think of it , I constantly think she is cheating at me, wants someone else, lying and hiding things from me. I do not beilve what she says when she tries to explain me. Some examples 1. If she does not pick up the phone, she is with someone else. 2. If her phone is busy, she is talking to another man. 3. If she wants to close the phone, she is hiding something. 4. If she is looking outside the window she is looking for guys 5. If she looks at a guy she likes him 6. If a guy randomly text her, I think she actually is talking to him 7. If she sleeps more than usual she spent the night talking to someone else It made her fear me when she opens her mouth,she is scared to use the wrong wording. Somehow I feel, is a 6th sense saying she is not the one for me and something will happen, she is lying, she is hiding. In other cases, like this one, i feel so disgusted of myself though her suffering, her spontaneous insane reactions of anger. I do not believe i am going to be like this forever, because, as she is suffering , this thoughts are rotting me in the inside. Please if anyone knows an operation, solution, medical treatment,someone anything that cures me and live a healthy relationship with the person i love. Desperate to ask forums and the world.I have been once to a psychiatric and CBT, both are not helping Looking forward with hope DreadfulKnight
SammySammy Posted October 21, 2015 Posted October 21, 2015 Sir ... Knight! It pays to be watchful in relationships. Many of those things you listed can be signs of infidelity. However, as you know, little is more destructive to a relationship than being falsely accused or walking on eggshells because you may be falsely accused. Actions speak louder than words. What you need to do is give your partner the benefit of the doubt until you have concrete evidence of infidelity (then let the chips fall where they may). Until then, create a loving, caring, uplifting, supportive and trusting environment in your relationship. Pour positive emotions and actions into the relationship. Suppress or eliminate the negative emotions and actions. That will lead to success. Positive thoughts, emotions and actions. You have to start practicing today. It's not going to happen overnight. Yet, through consistent focus and effort you will evolve into a better version of yourself and ultimately reach your noble goal. 1
deadelvis Posted October 21, 2015 Posted October 21, 2015 Do you think your fears are justified or just paranoia? Even if your fears are justified, obsessing over it will just make it come true. 1
sandylee1 Posted October 21, 2015 Posted October 21, 2015 You need therapy to resolve your jealousy, otherwise she'll be gone for good. It's nice to know your BF cares enough to get a little jealous, but beyond that it simply becomes intolerable and scary. Othello killed his wife.....why should your GF stay with you and risk harm while you are so irrational. I'd advise anyone I cared about to end such a relationship. 3
Gloria25 Posted October 21, 2015 Posted October 21, 2015 Is your girlfriend wanting to leave you because of your jealousy or something else?
eye of the storm Posted October 21, 2015 Posted October 21, 2015 Let her go. You don't trust her. She is constantly walking on eggshells around you which sucks the life right out of you. You are being cruel by trying to keep your claws dug into her. And if just by closing her phone or sleeping late you accuse her of cheating....that kind of controlling behavior is abusive. Let her go, 2
GemmaUK Posted October 21, 2015 Posted October 21, 2015 Every single one of your list scares me. Are you my last ex? He was abusive. Mostly emotionally..so many times I cannot even mention. Twice physically. 1
pteromom Posted October 21, 2015 Posted October 21, 2015 1. If she does not pick up the phone, she is with someone else. 2. If her phone is busy, she is talking to another man. 3. If she wants to close the phone, she is hiding something. 4. If she is looking outside the window she is looking for guys 5. If she looks at a guy she likes him 6. If a guy randomly text her, I think she actually is talking to him 7. If she sleeps more than usual she spent the night talking to someone else Do you realize that LOGICALLY, your thoughts here are way out there? Can you talk yourself down from these? Like if you call and her phone is busy, and you instantly think she is talking to another man, say to yourself "I have no reason to believe she is cheating. She is probably talking to family or friends. I have no reason to worry." and then just take some deep breaths while you calm down. If she's looking out the window, tell yourself "It's a beautiful day out there. I have no reason to believe she is cheating." And calm yourself. If she looks at a guy, tell yourself "It's ok if she is looking around at people. I can't expect her eyes to stay focused on me 100% of the time, and I don't want her to feel like she is trapped only looking at me." And calm yourself. This type of anxiety worsens the more you feed it. If you start contesting it, and teaching yourself to jump to OTHER, more rational conclusions, then you may be able to fix this yourself without professional help. If you can't, therapy is your solution. You may have to try a few counselors before finding one that works well with you. The last thing is that you have to trust in yourself that you can handle whatever happens. So if she DOES cheat or leave, trust that you will deal with it and do what is right for you. 1
Wewon Posted October 22, 2015 Posted October 22, 2015 Hello Everyone, Some examples 1. If she does not pick up the phone, she is with someone else. 2. If her phone is busy, she is talking to another man. 3. If she wants to close the phone, she is hiding something. 4. If she is looking outside the window she is looking for guys 5. If she looks at a guy she likes him 6. If a guy randomly text her, I think she actually is talking to him 7. If she sleeps more than usual she spent the night talking to someone else Talk to someone, this level of jealousy is destructive and will get you nowhere. 1
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