estoyconfundido Posted October 21, 2015 Posted October 21, 2015 Hello. This is my first time posting on here. I've been in a long-term relationship with my boyfriend for 8.5 years and we are really happy. I'm not even really worried about what I'm going to write as I suspect it happens to us all. I just feel like getting it out there anonymously and seeing who has had similar experiences. We went on holiday together to Spain recently and there was a Spanish guy working at the hotel as one of the entertainment staff who was really hilarious and was making everybody laugh and enjoy themselves. My boyfriend, our new friends and I were getting on well with him - responding positively to all his joking around etc. Just before we were about to leave, both of us said thank you and goodbye to this guy. My boyfriend shook his hand and I hugged him twice - but you know, they were normal, friendly hugs - nothing weird. I felt a bit off when we were waiting to leave the hotel to go back to the airport, but just put it down to having a great time in general. It was only when I came back from holiday that I realised that it would be a shame not to know what this guy was up to in his life from then onwards. So ... I went ahead and tracked him down on Facebook. My boyfriend and I had already added another couple who were staying at the hotel as we got on very well and would like to meet up again in the future. I found the Spanish guy and added him with a short message. I told our friends about it and they also connected with him. Ok, no problem. Not that it's a big deal, but when I mentioned to my boyfriend that I'd done this, he didn't address it, or add him as well. Obviously, it doesn't mean a lot if you don't add someone on Facebook and it's his decision at the end of the day but I do wonder. It's been a strange week and a half since we came back from my point of view. I've gone through a range of emotions: - Feeling sad to leave the hotel - Feeling really hyperactive and positive about the holiday experience - Restlessness at night - Spacing out at work and fantasising about having a threesome with my boyfriend and the Spanish guy - Realising that it's useless to think about that since he has a 5 year old son and a girlfriend - Thinking about the Spanish guy during sex with my boyfriend (it was already very good before, but somehow it's better with this fantasy included) - Understanding how good my relationship with my boyfriend is. - Knowing that the Spanish guy isn't right for me - but still being unable to stop thinking about him. Somehow I feel like I'm being ripped in two. I don't cheat - I never have done and don't intend to. There's such a slim chance that the Spanish guy even likes me anyway (in that way) but then I'm so attracted to him and his personality. Apologies for the ramble. Has anybody ever felt like this before?
Cali408 Posted October 21, 2015 Posted October 21, 2015 It's called a crush, people have them all the time. Completely normal, don't feel guilt about it. You are just having a holiday hangover, where everything was so great and now you're back in normalcy. Just don't get involved emotionally
d0nnivain Posted October 21, 2015 Posted October 21, 2015 It was a harmless crush until you tracked him down & added him on FB. You are headed down a slippery slope. Stop yourself before it is too late.
mystikmind2005 Posted October 22, 2015 Posted October 22, 2015 Oh well, if ever your BF raises the issue of a threesome, you will have the opportunity to share this fantasy story with him! Any guy raising the topic of a threesome would very likely react positively!
Author estoyconfundido Posted October 22, 2015 Author Posted October 22, 2015 It was a harmless crush until you tracked him down & added him on FB. You are headed down a slippery slope. Stop yourself before it is too late. I wouldn't let myself pursue anything further. It's pointless. I've decided that it was fine to add him on FB. I think the feelings are actually less romantic and more to do with believing that he deserves good things to happen in his life generally - that feeling of wanting to support someone but not in a relationshippy way. If that makes any sense?
Author estoyconfundido Posted October 22, 2015 Author Posted October 22, 2015 Oh well, if ever your BF raises the issue of a threesome, you will have the opportunity to share this fantasy story with him! Any guy raising the topic of a threesome would very likely react positively! This made me laugh. True, but if he ever does bring it up, it probably shouldn't be with the Spanish guy who we both know.
Author estoyconfundido Posted October 22, 2015 Author Posted October 22, 2015 It's called a crush, people have them all the time. Completely normal, don't feel guilt about it. You are just having a holiday hangover, where everything was so great and now you're back in normalcy. Just don't get involved emotionally Yes - that sounds like it. No emotions will be involved
Author estoyconfundido Posted October 26, 2015 Author Posted October 26, 2015 Update: I'm feeling a lot more chilled out about this now. I understand my feelings and know that whilst I do like this guy as a person (and he is pretty hot), my affection for him will only ever extend to friendship. That's the way I want it to be - that's all I'll allow it to be. After all, I have total control over the situation. Plus, if there's no hint that he likes me back then it's even better. Thank you for your posts people!
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