Toodaloo Posted October 21, 2015 Posted October 21, 2015 How does anyone actually get past them? You meet someone you really like and who likes you... Then somewhere it all just... fizzles... How do you get by that?
StBreton Posted October 21, 2015 Posted October 21, 2015 Not sure if this is what you're referring to: you both feel physical chemistry but not long term chemistry like similar interests or similar life experiences with which you could draw from during conversation? Or are you wondering how to build a relationship past the initial good chemistry like ... Developing inside jokes showing each other your "worlds" like one person has a collection of blues music ...maybe the other is a photography buff and shows the other how to shoot great photos For me ...if there's good physical chemistry ...I'm good at taking it from there ...but has to be with a spirited engaging partner Making fun plans based on your interests So is this what you're referring to?
Author Toodaloo Posted October 21, 2015 Author Posted October 21, 2015 Physical and mental chemistry both present and correct. Miscommunication also present and correct. Both misreading signals and comments... Both acting accordingly and moving away, moving on. Thankfully a complete blunder on my part has reopened communication. Neither of us was wrong in our initial assessment that we are both very keen on each other... All because I was busy last weekend...
StBreton Posted October 21, 2015 Posted October 21, 2015 Physical and mental chemistry both present and correct. Miscommunication also present and correct. Both misreading signals and comments... Both acting accordingly and moving away, moving on. Thankfully a complete blunder on my part has reopened communication. Neither of us was wrong in our initial assessment that we are both very keen on each other... All because I was busy last weekend... Well it's great that you've found someone with whom you feel mutual chemistry on several levels. Not sure if the communication that went awry was through text and the guy perceived you as dismissing him when you really just had other plans ...but that happens a lot. Phone is always best as there are nuances in verbal communication that will convey interest even in the event of non availability. It seems as though you've worked it out with the "blunder." and you're communicating again. If you two get together maybe do something physical like a hike or whatever ...to break /move past any tension built up during the misunderstanding. Then laugh about how crazy dating is these days.
Author Toodaloo Posted October 21, 2015 Author Posted October 21, 2015 If you two get together maybe do something physical like a hike or whatever ...to break /move past any tension built up during the misunderstanding. Then laugh about how crazy dating is these days. Its already planned. We both love long walks in the middle of no where, trudging to find a pub for something to eat before carrying on and stuff like that. The stupid thing is that he really wanted to come with me on Sunday but didn't catch on that I was asking him, not as an after thought, but as a forethought when I discovered I had free time... It was a mixture of text and what we were speaking about on our last date. Last weekend was hectic for me. I didn't tell him what I was doing I just said I was really busy. I had charity events and things planned through out the days and needed to go help people out, all had been planned for months. As it was a weekend and I literally did not have a spare hour he assumed that I had dates lined up... So he backed off. When I felt him back off, I backed off...
scooby-philly Posted October 21, 2015 Posted October 21, 2015 That's a great story thus far - keep us posted. That's why it's important to be up front an honest about things and why texting or emails can kill conversations between new daters. It's also nice to hear you admit a blunder and then recover from it. Too many people don't admit to their mistakes, which can easily fix simple problems if we admit to them. Good for you! 2
StBreton Posted October 21, 2015 Posted October 21, 2015 Its already planned. We both love long walks in the middle of no where, trudging to find a pub for something to eat before carrying on and stuff like that. The stupid thing is that he really wanted to come with me on Sunday but didn't catch on that I was asking him, not as an after thought, but as a forethought when I discovered I had free time... It was a mixture of text and what we were speaking about on our last date. Last weekend was hectic for me. I didn't tell him what I was doing I just said I was really busy. I had charity events and things planned through out the days and needed to go help people out, all had been planned for months. As it was a weekend and I literally did not have a spare hour he assumed that I had dates lined up... So he backed off. When I felt him back off, I backed off... Ohhh ...well dating it seems is hard on guys and he was sensitive ...glad you guys caught it and have a date!!! Sounds like a fun one too! You'll both be really excited by the time the day comes have fun!
Author Toodaloo Posted October 22, 2015 Author Posted October 22, 2015 Ohhh ...well dating it seems is hard on guys and he was sensitive ...glad you guys caught it and have a date!!! Sounds like a fun one too! You'll both be really excited by the time the day comes have fun! Aren't we all in those first few though? I am constantly looking for red flags and listening to what he is saying while trying to remain light and airy. I guess when you actually do meet someone you like and you do want to get to know them more thats when it all actually matters. When it matters it means more and you don't want to F it up. I know I have mucked up on dates with guys I really liked by trying to play it cool. Ended up not being cool at all. Daft thing is when I am actually with this guy I am relaxed happy and feel comfortable. He seems the same way. Its the bits in between that are the problem...
Haydn Posted October 22, 2015 Posted October 22, 2015 Takes a bit of time Toodaloo. Easy to misread things or make a few mistakes. More time you spend together the more you will know. I guess when we first meet someone we like, we can tend to look for all the negative things instead of just enjoying the moment. The questions.... Did she have fun? Did i overdo it? Will they call? The list is endless probably. Me and my better looking half just seemed to have a laugh instantly. But we both had the same nervy feelings about the things above. We got past it and have not looked back for almost 2 years... In fact only this morning she left a huge rubber Spider on the pillow next to me. (I nearly flew out of the window) But so happy you are off on a date Toodaloo. Maybe you can allay some of his fears... Just enjoy it! 1
todreaminblue Posted October 22, 2015 Posted October 22, 2015 i think in the process of knowing someone better you have brilliant days and not so brilliant days...i dont go by one day out of my life to make a major decision.....i allow quite a few days or dates and at different times...some people shine during the day some people shine at night......i dont expect guys to stay fizzy or shiny all the time...that way...i always make it past more than a few dates.....unless of course they grope me or show a lack of respect for me and my personal space wittout permission to be in there then its a nah...dont care how fizzy they are......i know they arent for me..........deb
Author Toodaloo Posted October 22, 2015 Author Posted October 22, 2015 In fact only this morning she left a huge rubber Spider on the pillow next to me. (I nearly flew out of the window) Yeah but she is awesome! I guess I just have to chill out and relax. If it happens it happens if not its not the end of the world... Had a text last night from a chap who basically said that he is a dumb ass for not asking me out sooner and if things don't work out please call... We shall see. Now I know for sure that he is just as nervous as I am and just as keen I feel better about it. I guess we will figure it out. Like you say just keep the dialogue open and be brave.
CalvinM Posted October 22, 2015 Posted October 22, 2015 When you meet the right person, it doesn't fizzle.
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