jogoldst Posted October 21, 2015 Posted October 21, 2015 Need some advice here. Been dating this girl about three weeks and really like her. The problem is she has a job, plus studying for the LSAT and lives about 40 mins away. The dates have been awesome (kissing, cuddling, etc), only problem is she has had to reschedule a few times because of work or LSAT class. She texted me last night and basically said that she feels really bad because I deserve more from her because she barely has any free time. She feels like I want a serious relationship and she can't give that to me until she's done this test. I told her that right now I just want to spend time with her, and we can play everyone by ear. If she has time to hang out awesome, if she's busy we will schedule for another time. I told her I really like her so I can be flexible. She came back saying that was perfect and I was amazing. My only question really is how do I follow up. I would like to still date her until she's done her test, but really don't know how without being pushy. Any thoughts?
fitnessfan365 Posted October 21, 2015 Posted October 21, 2015 Well there's been heavy affection. Also, her excuses seem legitimate w/ the LSAT and her job. Plus, if she was just making up an excuse to blow you off, she would have stuck to her guns about backing away IMO. The fact that she still wants to keep you in her life is a good thing IMO. But you're going to have to remain secure in how well things are when you two are together and continue to give her the space she needs. So my advice? Let her do most of the initiating. When she reaches out, you plan a date. Then just keep repeating that process and as she gets more invested/has more time, she'll reach out more and more.
kpl Posted October 21, 2015 Posted October 21, 2015 oh man. I was in grad school and tried to date at the same time. I used to feel bad and my bf at the time wasn't great about it. We had very few date dates and more like I'll stop by on my way after class around 9 p.m. We would have date nights though (that he barely committed to...another story). So maybe you can pick a day through the week that you are committed to seeing each other and stick to it. I'm sure she is super stressed out about the LSATs and law school in general, so just being easy and supportive seems like the right way to go. You don't wan to add any extra stress in her life. One thing I will say though when you are with someone who has set career trajectory LSATs, law school, lawyer you have to be OK with the fact that your future for the next 4 years will be accommodating her and her schedule. This will be her priority b/c it has to be and your relationship will come 2nd. I'm not saying that is a huge issue yet, but it is something to think about.
d0nnivain Posted October 21, 2015 Posted October 21, 2015 Get her a bouquet of # 2 pencils. Her stress levels are going to go waaaayyyy up over the course of the next 7 years. Get used to it.
Maggie4 Posted October 21, 2015 Posted October 21, 2015 Making dates and then canceling is more added stress. You should find a way to spend time together without taking away her time. For example, you can bring her dinner and just hang around while she studies.
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