Sex & a men with diabetes/ED-He say's the lust has gone?

[autumnnight]

I have GREAT AMOUNTS of familiarity with diabetic men who do not take care of themselves. Do NOT let one ounce of this issue be deflected or thrown onto you. This is ALL. HIM. PERIOD.

 

A diabetic man who takes care of himself can have a normal sex life. A diabetic man who takes care of himself doesn't bounce up and down (hence the profuse sweating) in sugar level and mood.

 

There is nothing wrong with you, your technique, or your personality.

 

He is a lazy, unhealthy diabetic man who blameshifts all the bad effects of his irresponsibility.

[MidwestUSA]

You have? people get part of the penis's removed due to diabtes?

 

Yep. The one I saw lost about a third of his.

[ozziegal8]

You know what guy's, thanks...x

You have all really helped me to understand this, I was feeling soooo down as I am a really sensitive person and analyze everything and was taking this to heart and feeling so much rejection as I was blaming myself for him losing interest...

I really appreciate it x

[ozziegal8]

Why would the guy go back online when he knows he has a problem and will get found out by the next one?

Maybe his drinking only occurred as I had invited him to lots of events that involved drinking? I didn't know at the time I invited him how bad it was to drink when you have this disease.

I was reading his earlier messages to me, 'your my best friend', 'I will be there for you through good times and bad' pffftt

[ozziegal8]

Sex and Diabetes: What You Wanted to Know: Diabetes Forecast®

[ozziegal8]

I have GREAT AMOUNTS of familiarity with diabetic men who do not take care of themselves. Do NOT let one ounce of this issue be deflected or thrown onto you. This is ALL. HIM. PERIOD.

 

A diabetic man who takes care of himself can have a normal sex life. A diabetic man who takes care of himself doesn't bounce up and down (hence the profuse sweating) in sugar level and mood.

 

There is nothing wrong with you, your technique, or your personality.

 

He is a lazy, unhealthy diabetic man who blameshifts all the bad effects of his irresponsibility.

 

 

If you don't mind me asking, what has been your experience with guys with diabetes who don't take care of themselves?

[ozziegal8]

Nerves shot cos of the diabetes you mean?

 

 

 

 

This^^.

 

Bottom line, he has lost his attraction, you and the RL annoy him. His nerves are shot (hence him snapping at you about the pics you were taking, him storming off after your comment re the MC, etc).

 

Don't bother analyzing this too much. He's got issues, one of which is he doesn't like/love HIMSELF very much, and you can't love someone else if you don't love YOURSELF first.

 

Wish him well, and move on...

[just-moi]

If you don't mind me asking, what has been your experience with guys with diabetes who don't take care of themselves?

 

Ozziegal... another Aussie gal here...

 

I went out with a guy with diabetes II as well... sometimes he looked after it, other times he didn't (& ended up in hospital)... either way the 'real' him was a total dickhead. Just like your guy...

 

After 2 years, starting out with sweeping me off my feet etc., he proved himself to be an absolute ass in his own right.

 

I initially felt I had to give this guy a bit of slack, & felt bad for his diabetes (which caused the death of my mum too), but he had issues far beyond the symptoms of diabetes. My mum was never nasty or blaming... nor was I when I had gestational diabetes when pregnant.

 

Same ED to begin with (til viagra) same unnecessary anger, blame-shifting (it's my fault for hurting him by asking if he ever really loved me when he went back to his ex after 2 years in a great relationship & about to move in together?) ...

 

This is all on him, not his diabetes... it's still early days & he is showing his true colours... dump & run girl!!!

[gaius]

I'm guessing since he has diabetes that he's a big fat mess, which also doesn't help much when it comes to erections. Most stories I've heard about guys like that seem to involve them blaming the woman for their own failures. So now he's probably bouncing from woman to woman, looking for the magical one who can raise his penis from the dead. Like Pinnochio trying to become a real boy. Rather than just take a good look in the mirror, come to grips with what a slob he is and make the choice to do something about it. =/

 

Just be glad you're rid of him.

[ozziegal8]

Believe it or not he wasn't fat!

But I dont' think he liked walking around much due to having half his foot amputated and there being a skin graft on it and constant bleeding if he did walk on it.

 

I am just feeling really rejected cos he is back online searching again, from what he told me he hadnt dated anyone for 6 months as trying to get his life back in order then a few days later after the lost the lust comment he is back looking again which makes me feel like he wasn't attracted to me anymore.

 

Maybe me dragging him out to drinking events did it, ie drinking then not being able to perform later, if I hadn't invited him to big events maybe he would have been ok with me?

 

I am a 45 yr old female, I dont think I am ugly and I am a size 8 and keep fit. Probably looking a lot better than a lot of ppl my age. He was 42.

[MidwestUSA]

Stop blaming his problems on a lack of attraction for you! Stop it right now!

 

He's going to go thru a string of women, whom he'll be enamored with until the big reveal - the fact that he can't perform. He'll let them take the blame and move on to the next. Just be glad he's behind, and not in front, of you.

[Art_Critic]

It wasn't you.. it wasn't you...

 

Don't let an Alcoholic nasty mean guy take away your self esteem...

Who cares if he is back online.. I'm sure with his issues he is lonely and until he deals with his issues he is going to keep going back online to make himself feel better.

 

Please stop looking at his profile and go out on some dates with another guy.. he is a mess and unless you want a life is his misery then let it go...

Edited October 29, 2015 by Art_Critic
grammer

[ozziegal8]

I have been reading about men in relationships with ED issues, most of the woman in these situations do take it personally and worry if its them? The guy has assured them they arent the issue so it has been really hard to get my head around the fact that I WASNT the issue when he told me he lost the lust.

Your head thinks in funny ways.

Weird that he told me at the start he had ED though, i thought at this point he was a good guy for not blaming me.

I also think this guy potentially had very controlling behaviour and was insecure.

Hence him telling me off for taking photo's and talking to a guy.

Funny on our 2nd date a guy talked to me whilst he was in the loo, i told him i was with someone and my date saw me i tried to make him feel better and say it was nothing he splurted out 'I dont care you can do what you want, if it was 2 weeks time i would be upset but not now?

What a weird thing to say

I also feel that as i had so many events to go too that involved drinking that maybe this didnt help his ED and that if we just did normal non drinking things the ED wouldnt have reared its ugly head so to speak.

However, I do know he would have still carried on smoking in a non drinking situation.

Edited November 3, 2015 by ozziegal8
not finished

[ozziegal8]

Maybe he wasnt an alcoholic though, I do have a big social life which involves drinking and I felt that I should invite him along this was before I knew about diabetes and the effects of drinking. If I knew now about mixing the two i would never have invited him.

Now I am thinking that if we hadnt of been out drinking his ED wouldnt have been an issue. Although if i went to his house he did have beers not too many but did have a few

[TaraMaiden2]

Why are you doing this....?

 

I have been reading about men in relationships with ED issues, most of the woman in these situations do take it personally and worry if its them? The guy has assured them they arent the issue so it has been really hard to get my head around the fact that I WASNT the issue when he told me he lost the lust.

Your head thinks in funny ways.

Weird that he told me at the start he had ED though, i thought at this point he was a good guy for not blaming me.

I also think this guy potentially had very controlling behaviour and was insecure.

Hence him telling me off for taking photo's and talking to a guy.

Funny on our 2nd date a guy talked to me whilst he was in the loo, i told him i was with someone and my date saw me i tried to make him feel better and say it was nothing he splurted out 'I dont care you can do what you want, if it was 2 weeks time i would be upset but not now?

What a weird thing to say

I also feel that as i had so many events to go too that involved drinking that maybe this didnt help his ED and that if we just did normal non drinking things the ED wouldnt have reared its ugly head so to speak.

However, I do know he would have still carried on smoking in a non drinking situation.

 

Maybe he wasnt an alcoholic though, I do have a big social life which involves drinking and I felt that I should invite him along this was before I knew about diabetes and the effects of drinking. If I knew now about mixing the two i would never have invited him.

Now I am thinking that if we hadnt of been out drinking his ED wouldnt have been an issue. Although if i went to his house he did have beers not too many but did have a few

 

Why are you finding things in your own actions, to excuse his own behaviour and relieve him of the responsibility of his own action?

Why are you questioning you, when we've all told you - this wasn't ON you?

 

Would you stop, please?

[ozziegal8]

I suppose it is because I am a very sensitive person/insecure and take things to heart.

It just made me feel very unattractive and that he lost the attraction for me.

I researched diabetes 2 and ED, apparently the nerves are stuffed and deadened from years of abuse of not taking meds properly which in turn makes him lose his erection.

[dreamingoftigers]

I have GREAT AMOUNTS of familiarity with diabetic men who do not take care of themselves. Do NOT let one ounce of this issue be deflected or thrown onto you. This is ALL. HIM. PERIOD.

 

A diabetic man who takes care of himself can have a normal sex life. A diabetic man who takes care of himself doesn't bounce up and down (hence the profuse sweating) in sugar level and mood.

 

There is nothing wrong with you, your technique, or your personality.

 

He is a lazy, unhealthy diabetic man who blameshifts all the bad effects of his irresponsibility.

 

My father is a diabetic alcoholic.

 

FORGET IT!

 

SERIOUSLY MISERABLE.

 

He is in his mid-fifties and losing his vision.

 

He tried for a long time to hide his diabetes.

 

Doctors for years have told him to quit drinking. He was an absolute, Abusive, moody nightmare. The worst part is my mother enabled it.

 

I have no comment about the sexstuff.

[TaraMaiden2]

I suppose it is because I am a very sensitive person/insecure and take things to heart.

Well rather than focus on how you played any part in his total irresponsibility neglect, abuse, and general uselessness, concentrate on remedying what you CAN do something about.

If you know WHY you're insecure - work on that.

But please, quit being both whipping post and whip-handler, ok? I mean, what the hell?

 

 

It just made me feel very unattractive and that he lost the attraction for me.

Yes, indeed. The fact that he is a total scuzzball, has been like this for years, and refuses to acknowledge that everything that he orchestrates is HIS fault and HIS responsibility, is obviously because you're not attractive enough.

 

Please, please, please, stop.

For goodness' sake, this has N-O-T-H-I-N-G to do with you.

 

I researched diabetes 2 and ED, apparently the nerves are stuffed and deadened from years of abuse of not taking meds properly which in turn makes him lose his erection.

Right. OK. Good. So now you know it's him, not you, and that you're so much better off without him.

End of.

Finished.

Done.

 

Now quit talking about this loser and tell us something positive you're doing to help yourself move on, be brighter, more confident, less insecure and reach a positive conclusion.

[SoFrustrated]

And this is all happening in the beginning....run....run fast

[ozziegal8]

Well rather than focus on how you played any part in his total irresponsibility neglect, abuse, and general uselessness, concentrate on remedying what you CAN do something about.

If you know WHY you're insecure - work on that.

But please, quit being both whipping post and whip-handler, ok? I mean, what the hell?

 

 

How am I being a 'whip-handler'? When I am blaming myself?

 

Yes, indeed. The fact that he is a total scuzzball, has been like this for years, and refuses to acknowledge that everything that he orchestrates is HIS fault and HIS responsibility, is obviously because you're not attractive enough.

 

Please, please, please, stop.

For goodness' sake, this has N-O-T-H-I-N-G to do with you.

 

 

Right. OK. Good. So now you know it's him, not you, and that you're so much better off without him.

End of.

Finished.

Done.

 

Now quit talking about this loser and tell us something positive you're doing to help yourself move on, be brighter, more confident, less insecure and reach a positive conclusion.

 

 

Positive stuff for me-I do a Mindfulness course each week & I have had counselling for the past year. I also had counselling about this very topic.

[ozziegal8]

If you know WHY you're insecure - work on that.

But please, quit being both whipping post and whip-handler, ok? I mean, what the hell?

 

How am I being the whip handler in this situation? I would say more the Whipping post?

[MidwestUSA]

You're whipping yourself. Why have you gotten into such a frenzy over this douchebag who means nothing?

 

Is it that hard to stop thinking about him and overanalyzing? Would you blame yourself if the guy had some other disease that disabled him, but didn't involve his dick? You're still trying to connect the dots between his inability to get it up and your attractiveness. They aren't remotely related. Let the next poor girl have him.