Reallyconfusedheart Posted October 20, 2015 Posted October 20, 2015 Here is my story, I've been with this man for 7 yrs+, 1.5 yrs living together, recently came back from another province. Since we came back, the relationship was just more like a friendship between the two of us. There was a lot of fights prior to that and simply decided to tone it down by not talking to each other to avoid confrontation. He comes and goes anytime whenever he wants without telling me and that hurts me, simply put - he ignores me. Since I know him, I have a feeling that he is seeing someone else. One time, I decided to try get close to him. He said to me, we are not together anymore and again ignored me. The relationship was like this for almost a month. Since I cannot take it anymore, I decided to find a place although he wasn't kicking me out. The day I am about to leave, I did try to hug him for goodbye and it was very painful. That time, he showed me that he still cares for me. He started to promise things like marriage, kids and moving out together in another place and start a family. Because of that, I questioned my decision of leaving. Part of me knows that I still love him but he is hurting me too much at the same time. He really confused me. He made sure to tell me that it is my pride that broke the relationship and he bid me good luck afterwards. This is the fourth time that we separated for different reasons, the first 3, we got back together. Now, I am alone in my own place and been thinking, what should have happened if I stayed? I still love him and I am lonely. Was it my fault? I feel like he moved on too quickly. What am I supposed to do? I am really confused how easy he gave up, unless this is the case of him subtly sending message he wants out just guilty to admit? Your inputs are appreciated. Take care.
d0nnivain Posted October 20, 2015 Posted October 20, 2015 Such a dramatic change in your life -- the end of a LTR -- will have a lot of ripple effects. However since you have broken up before, now that you have take then step to move out, let the distance & space heal you through this time of transition. After ending a 10 year relationship my emotions were all over the place especially because my EX was doing many of the things I had wanted him to do in the relationship. Years later when DH & I were getting married, I finally had my closure in that I realized how dysfunctional it was & how even if I stayed living with the EX things never would have been different. Don't second guess yourself now.
basil67 Posted October 20, 2015 Posted October 20, 2015 This is your 4th breakup in 7 years. Have you considered he may agree that breaking up is the right thing to do? All in all, the relationship sounds like it's well and truly run it's course - so I'm wondering why you think he would chase you. And there is also the bit about you being hypocritical. YOU move out and then complain that HE's giving up too easily. Time to move on. And next time, if you want to make a relationship work, don't move out.
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